Category: Pirates!

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Roy Crane’s Captain Easy, Soldier of Fortune: The Complete Sunday Newspaper Strips volume 3 1938-1940


By Roy Crane with Leslie Turner (Fantagraphics Books)
ISBN: 978-1-60699-529-7 (HB)

This book includes Discriminatory Content produced in less enlightened times.

The comics industry evolved from newspaper strips and these circulation-boosting pictorial features were, until relatively recently, utterly ubiquitous, hugely popular with the public and regarded as invaluable by publishers who used them as an irresistible sales weapon to guarantee consumer loyalty, increase sales and ensure profits. Many a scribbler became a millionaire thanks to their ability to draw pictures and spin a yarn.

It’s virtually impossible for us to today to understand the overwhelming power of the comic strip in America (and the wider world) from the Great Depression to the end of World War II. With no television, broadcast radio far from universal and movie shows at best a weekly treat for most folk, household entertainment was mostly derived from the comic sections of daily and especially Sunday Newspapers. The Funnies were the most common recreation for millions who were well served by a fantastic variety and incredible quality. From the very start humour was paramount… that’s why we call them “funnies” or “comics”, after all. From these gag and stunt beginnings, blending silent movie slapstick, outrageous antics, fabulous fantasy and vaudeville shows, came a thoroughly unique entertainment hybrid: Royston Campbell Crane’s Wash Tubbs.

Debuting on April 21st 1924 Washington Tubbs II was a comedic gag-a-day strip not entirely dissimilar from confirmed family favourite Harold Teen (by Crane’s friend and contemporary Carl Ed). Tubbs was a diminutive, ambitious young shop clerk when the strip began, but gradually he moved into mock-heroics, then through harm-free action into full-blown, light-hearted rip-roaring adventures with the introduction of pioneering he-man, moody swashbuckling prototype Captain Easy in the landmark episode for 6th May, 1929.

As the tales became increasingly more exotic and thrill-drenched, the globe-trotting little dynamo clearly needed a sidekick who could believably handle the combat side of things, and thus in the middle of a European war Tubbs liberated a mysterious fellow American from a jail cell and history was made. Before long the mismatched pair were inseparable comrades; travelling the world, hunting treasure, fighting thugs and rescuing a bevy of startlingly comely maidens in distress…

The 2-fisted, bluff, completely capable and utterly dependable, down-on-his-luck Southern Gentleman was something not seen before in comics: a raw, square-jawed hunk played straight rather than the buffoon or music hall foil of such classic serials as Hairsbreadth Harry or Desperate Desmond. Crucially, Crane’s seductively simple blend of cartoon exuberance and compelling page-design was a far more accessible and powerful medium for action story-telling than the static illustrative style favoured by artists like Hal Foster (just starting to make waves on the new Tarzan Sunday page).

While we’re thinking of Edgar Rice Burroughs, it’s difficult to re-read the phrase “Southern Gentleman” these days without pausing to consider how much of that term originally denoted chivalric do-gooder, rather than Defender of Slavery, to most readers. Frankly, I’m not sure Crane gave a moment’s thought to political or social implications, although his heroes never made any distinction between races and treated all characters equally, even back then. Their only motivations were getting rich honestly and helping folks in trouble. These stories come from a long time ago, so just read along with a sense of historical perspective, please…

Tubbs and Easy were easily as exotic and thrilling as the Ape Man but rattled along like tempestuous Sailor Man Popeye, full of vim, vigour and vinegar, as attested to by a close look at the early work of the would-be cartoonists who followed the strip with avid intensity: Floyd Gottfredson, Milton Caniff, Jack Kirby, Will Eisner and especially young Joe Shuster…

After a couple of abortive attempts starring his little-guy hero, Crane bowed to the inevitable and created a full colour Sunday page dedicated to his increasingly popular hero-for-hire. Captain Easy debuted on 30th July 1933, in madcap, two-fisted exploits (originally) set before his first fateful meeting with Tubbs.

The third terrific tome of a stupendous 4-volume set covers May 22nd 1938 to December 15th 1940 and opens with a Foreword by Rick Norwood contrasting storylines in Daily and Sunday iterations whilst re-presenting a number of Crane’s illustrated articles on life in Mexico, after which R.C. Harvey’s Introduction provides some historical context and speculates on a potential real-life inspiration for the enigmatic Captain. There’s also a long-overdue appreciation of the artist’s friend, silent partner and eventual successor in ‘Easy Does it… And So does Leslie Turner’. Initially hired to provide Crane time and breathing room from the punishing seven day a week deadlines, from 1937 Turner increasingly took responsibility for the Sunday strip after the Newspaper Enterprise Association syndicate ordered Crane to drop his cherished full-page experimental designs.

When he first began the Sunday page in 1933, Crane’s creativity went into overdrive: an entire page and sharp vibrant colours to play with had clearly stirred his imagination. The results were wild visual concoctions which achieved a timeless immediacy and made each instalment a unified piece of sequential art. The effect of the pages can be seen in so many comic and strips since – even in the works of such near-contemporaries as Hergé and giants-in-waiting like Charles Schulz. The pages were a clearly as much of a joy to create as to read but the commercial argument ran that the company couldn’t sell a feature which client periodicals were unable to cut-up and reformat to suit their own needs. In 1943 the former assistant inherited the black-&-white Daily feature after Crane quit NEA to produce his creator-owned Buz Sawyer strip for William Randolph Hearst’s King Features syndicate.

Once Crane was gone, Turner took Wash & Easy into ever more comedic regions, crafting the strip until his retirement in 1969 after which other writers and artists carried the Captain until the feature was ended in 1988. But that’s largely immaterial as here the superb high-adventuring is seen in its absolute prime…

As seen in Roy Crane’s Captain Easy, Soldier of Fortune: The Complete Sunday Newspaper Strips volume 2, after a spectacular string of solo adventures the solitary soldier of fortune at last met Tubbs whilst jugged in a jail cell in a Ruritanian European kingdom. He had been framed in an espionage plot. Risking life and diminutive limb to save his pal, Wash also rescued sultry spitfire Ruby Dallas who promptly entangled them in her own unfortunate tale of woe. Witness to a murder in America, she had been on the run ever since because the killer was a prominent millionaire with too much to lose. Once the trio escaped murderous cutthroats, slavers and assassins, they soon settled his hash…

The story picks up here with the lads again looking for jobs and passage home. Opportunity knocks in the form of an animal collector in need of a crew, but when his tiger gets loose on the boat everybody jumps overboard. Washing up on the isolated island of Koolyhow where an American entomologist and his female assistant are hunting the legendary doodle-bug, the boys sign on as helpers. They are soon embroiled in burgeoning madness gripping local governor Sergeant Major Gaspe Shalayli, and further complicating matters is a lost temple full of ancient treasures and a cute furry creature called a Swink. The gluttonous little anteater takes a shine to Wash and has a capacity for finding trouble or creating chaos exponentially greater than his new owner’s…

With bugs and Swink – christened “Bennie” – the triumphant Americans reach Singapore only to be targeted by grifters Sadie and Dipper, who believe their latest marks have the temple jewels (actually confiscated by the local government). Tricking their way onto the flying boat carrying Wash and Easy home, the crooks cause a crash leaving Sadie and our heroes stranded on a desolate island inhabited by the extremely civilised descendants of piratical bandits. The place is a utopian paradise with only one rule: nobody ever leaves…

Of course Easy, Wash & Bennie do, in a stolen sail boat which promptly starts sinking, leaving the voyagers in dire straits. They’re almost saved by a passing vessel but the pirates aboard The Typhoon gleefully ignore their plight and sail on…

Frantically bailing, they reach land just as Cap’n Robbins sinks and plunders a trading ship. Once again in hot water, Wash & Easy rescue Mona Milson – stranded survivor of a previous shipwrecking – and return her to her grateful father on yet another Pacific paradise, only to find the furious Robbins waiting for them. He’s just agreed to transport the old gent, his family and, most importantly, his life savings to Honolulu…

Unable to dissuade old man Milson, the boys book passage with him and Mona and, after days of outrageous hijinks as the voracious and disaster-prone Bennie makes life hell for the pirates, expose and capture the villains. With reward money in their pockets Wash & Easy (and the Swink) finally get back to America and begin a search for gainful employment which highlights a return to gag-filled short stories. The ever-ravenous Swink is a popular sensation, prompting his owners to buy a travelling medicine show truck. Whilst touring the country they discover the elixir they’re peddling has genuine restorative powers whilst encountering a succession of conmen, women, thieves, scheming women, bandits and determinedly marriage-minded women – some of whom even steal the fabulous, potentially invaluable Bennie. A martyr to crazy, hungry critters, Wash improbably inherits a hippo named Kittie.

It’s just one disaster after another…

Feeling they’ve outlived their welcome Wash & Easy go adventuring again, accidentally ending up in Peru, where dauntless Mary Lancaster is searching for her lost father. She enlists their help to enter the forbidden Lost Canyon region where they discover not only the missing archaeologist but a lost race of Indians who still practise human sacrifice. The humans only escape by trading their lives for Bennie, but as they make their forlorn way back to civilisation, the indomitable Swink catches up to them, having proved too smart for the Andeans. Packing the Lancasters off home, but too short of funds to accompany them, our heroes are soon clapped in jail for vagrancy, where they meet magician, ventriloquist and escapologist “the Great Plunkett”: an inveterate prankster who joins them as stowaways on a steamer back to the USA. Once there, Plunkett’s gift for opening safes makes him a target for opportunistic mobsters – until his new friends step in…

Big changes were underway at this time and Turner was increasingly yielding the focus on his titular stars to explore an array of new and returning supporting characters – presumably to allow Crane more leeway, if not exclusivity – on Tubbs and Easy. However with January 21st 1940’s episode, the boys were back, as Easy became a freelance spy-hunter/crimebuster in a nation progressively, inevitably marching towards war. The tone was still light and humorous, but the writing was on the wall…

After stopping spies, Easy tracked down escaped convict Killer Beck, exposed the murder of a Chinese servant and captured America’s Most Wanted female-impersonating conman. That led to his being hired to safeguard a new aviation weapon from a veritable army of foreign agents and the diabolical Mata Hari Z-1. Defeating her led to Easy and Wash being marooned in a vast jungle of cactus in the Western American desert where they stumbled onto a gang of ruthless counterfeiters before tackling train-stealing gunrunners in Mexico.

More short yarns bracket a concerted re-lightening of mood as the lads are hired by arrogant, flighty heiress and aspiring film star Honey Darling who uses them to stage dangerous, headline-grabbing stunts, before they’re hired to recover a yacht and rescue the passengers after the Captain loses control of it in a rigged card game. The mission goes slightly awry and leaves the boys, heiress Ginger Nelson, her chaperone aunt and some of the more nefarious crewmen shipwrecked. Amongst the saved luggage is the 12th biggest diamond in the world.

… And then the murders start happening…

Nevertheless Easy & Tubbs again save the day, but on returning stateside, the surly Soldier of Fortune is made the basis of a bet between two wealthy men. One wagers that any man can be made afraid, but the other believes Easy disproves the notion. Of course, neither has asked him to participate, and after the hero is tricked into a haunted house the trouble really begins as the mountaintop dwelling is invaded by bandits wanting their perfect hideout back…

After discovering the only thing that frightens Easy, this compelling cartoon carnival ends with the heartwarming tale of newsboy Buddie Burns who turns his passion for detecting into a successful anti-crime campaign – with a little help from a certain South’un Gen’leman…

Also included here are examples of original artwork and this colossal luxury hardback compilation (pages 380 x 270mm) even offers an extra colour tear-sheet plus a full hand-coloured page by Crane, used by print processors as a guide to produce finished instalments.

This volume also heralds the irrepressible humour which Turner would increasing bring into the feature and the stories – although still action adventures – abound with breezy, light-hearted banter, outrageous situations, hilarious slapstick and outright farce: a sure-fire formula modern cinema directors plunder to this day.

Captain Easy was the grandfather of Indiana Jones, Flynn (the Librarian) Carsen and Jack (Romancing the Stone) Cotton, clearly setting the benchmark for all of them. Happily, Crane’s rip-snorting, pulse-pounding, exotically racy adventure trailblazer fell into hands every bit as talented and the huge pages in this stupendous chronicle, crackling with fun and excitement, provide the perfect stage from which to absorb and enjoy the classic tale-telling of another sublime master raconteur.

This is storytelling of impeccable quality: unforgettable, spectacular and utterly irresistible. These tales rank alongside the best of Hergé, Tezuka, Toth and Kirby and unarguably fed the imaginations of them all as they still should for today’s comics creators. Now that you have the chance to experience the strips that inspired the giants of our art form, how can you possibly resist?
Captain Easy strips © 2012 United Feature Syndicate, Inc. This edition © 2012 Fantagraphics Books, all other material © the respective copyright holders. All rights reserved.

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Mac Raboy’s Flash Gordon volume 4


By Mac Raboy & Don Moore, Dan Barry & various (Dark Horse Books)
ISBN: 978-156971-979-9 (TPB)

This book includes Discriminatory Content produced in less enlightened times.

By almost every metric, Flash Gordon is the most influential comic strip in the world. When the hero debuted on Sunday January 7th 1934 (Happy Birthday Flash!) with equally superb Jungle Jim running as a supplementary “topper” strip, it was a slick, sophisticated answer to Philip Nolan & Dick Calkins’ revolutionary, ideas-packed, inspirational, but quirkily clunky Buck Rogers (which also launched on January 7th – albeit in 1929) with two fresh elements added to the wonderment: Classical Lyricism and Poetic Dynamism. The newcomer became a weekly invitation to stunningly exotic glamour and astonishing beauty.

Where Buck merged traditional adventure with groundbreaking science concepts, Flash reinterpreted fairy tales, hero epics and mythology, draping them in the spectacular trappings of contemporary futurism, with the varying “rays”, “engines” and “motors” of modern pulp sci fi substituting for trusty swords and lances. There were also plenty of those too – and exotic craft and contraptions stood in for galleons, chariots and magic carpets. Look closely, though, and you’ll see cowboys, gangsters and of course, contemporary flying saucer fetishes adding flourish to the fanciful fables. The narrative trick made the far-fetched satisfactorily familiar – and was continued with contemporary trends and innovations by Austin Briggs and Don Moore before Mac Raboy (with Moore and Robert Rogers) took over the Sunday strips for a groundbreakingly modern yet comfortably familiar tenure lasting from 1948 to 1967.

The sheer artistic talent of Raymond, his compositional skills, fine linework, eye for clean, concise detail and just plain genius for drawing beautiful people and things, swiftly made this the strip that all young artists swiped from literally all over the world. When original material comic books began a few years later, many talented kids used Gordon as their model and ticket to future success in the field of adventure strips. Almost all the others went with Raymond’s stylistic polar opposite: emulating Milton Caniff’s expressionist masterwork Terry and the Pirates (and to see one of his better disciples check out Beyond Mars, limned by the wonderful Lee Elias).

Flash Gordon began on present-day Earth (which was 1934, remember?) with a wandering world about to smash into our planet. As global panic ensued, polo player Flash and fellow passenger Dale Arden narrowly escaped disaster when a meteor fragment downed their airliner. They landed on the estate of tormented genius Dr. Hans Zarkov, who imprisoned them in the rocket-ship he had built. His plan? To fly the ship directly at the astral invader and deflect it from Earth by crashing into it! Thus began a decade of sheer escapist magic in a Ruritanian Neverland: a blend of Camelot, Oz, John Carter of Mars and a hundred other fantasy realms promising paradise yet concealing vipers, ogres and demons, all cloaked in a glimmering sheen of sleek scientific speculation. Worthy adversaries such as utterly evil yet magnetic Ming, emperor of the fantastic wandering planet; myriad exotic races and shattering conflicts offered a fantastic alternative to drab and dangerous reality for millions of avid readers around the world.

With Moore handling the bulk of scripts, Alex Raymond’s ‘On the Planet Mongo’ ran every Sunday until 1944, when the artist joined the Marines. On his return, he forsook wild imaginings for sober reality by introducing gentleman gumshoe Rip Kirby. The public’s unmissable weekly appointment with wonderment perforce continued under the artistic auspices of Austin Briggs – who had drawn the monochrome daily instalments since 1940.

In 1948, eight years after beginning his career drawing for the Harry A. Chesler production “shop”, comic book artist Emmanuel “Mac” Raboy took over illustrating the Sunday page. Moore remained as scripter and began co-writing with the new artist. Raboy’s sleek, fine-line brush style – heavily influenced by his idol Raymond – had made his work on Captain Marvel Jr., Kid Eternity and especially Green Lama a pinnacle of artistic quality in the early days of the proliferating superhero genre. His seemingly inevitable assumption of Flash Gordon’s extraordinary exploits led to a renaissance of the strip and in a rapidly evolving post-war world, it became once more a benchmark of timeless, hyper-realistic quality escapism which only Hal Foster’s Prince Valiant could match.

This fourth and final 276-page paperback volume – printed in stark monochrome, landscape format and still criminally out-of-print/long overdue for a fresh edition – spans December 16th 1962 through December 31st 1967 – by which time successor Dan Barry was already adding his artistic contributions to the final chapter (from December 24th). After one last informative appraisal of Raboy in Bruce Jones’ Introduction ‘Walking with Giants’ it’s time for one last blast-off as the adventure resumes with already-in-progress thriller ‘Sons of Saturn’… Sequence SO91 had begun on October 21st 1962 and cliffhangerly closed the previous volume barely weeks in. It resumes here with the episode for December 16th and carries on until January 20th 1963 revealing how the hitherto unsuspected super-civilisation thriving in the clouds of the Sixth Planet is revealed when an Earth probe provokes its current overlord to determine human nature and resource by sending super-criminal outcast Baldr to plague, punish and test them. That results in the indestructible giant breaking into Flash’s ship and going on a rampage, but ultimately alien force proves no match for human – i.e. Flash Gordon’s – ingenuity and the embattled visitors accidentally initiate a sudden and very permanent regime change…

Running from January 27th to April 14th pure cold war paranoia shapes sequence S092. ‘The Force Dome’ sees well-meaning Professor Howe build a perfectly impenetrable protective energy barrier and convince the authorities to let him run a live test by shielding all of Metropole City. When Howe dies suddenly the experiment goes awry and the generators can’t be switched off. Thankfully, Flash and Zarkov are on site and able to avert the crisis before all the air under the city-sized bubble is used up…

It’s back to the beyond next as (S093: 21/4/63 – 14/7/63) finds our hero further testing the bounds of Earth’s recently-developed Faster-Than-Light technologies, with Flash despatched to a far star system to discover what happened to an off-line ‘Star Beacon’ that has stopped providing subspace navigation data. That all sounds quite technical, but it’s just a plot device to enable Flash & Co to wryly clash with cunning alien primitives after which it’s back to Earth and the Himalayas to rescue explorer Bill Penrose from fabled monsters (S094: 21/7/63-17/11/63). However, as Flash digs deeper, he learns these ‘Yeti’ are actually robots employed by extraterrestrial resource bandits to steal uranium, resulting in an epic battle beneath the Earth, before returning to space and a new station orbiting Jupiter. Set on Earth’s newly-constructed interstellar transit station, sequence S095 (24/11/63 to 15/3/1964) sees Dale and Flash accidentally in loco parentis to Miki – an extremely impulsive ‘Boy From Another World’ …and his disruptively radioactive pet Zhlubb…

The furore builds as the star waifs suddenly go missing just as interplanetary bandit trio the Breen Brothers invade the station whilst Flash is testing Zarkov’s latest super-ship, triggering a monumental and manic battle beyond the stars. When the shooting stops and with Miki restored to his parents, Flash finally boosts off in the new FTL vessel, destined for a colony world that has called for help by sending back all its women and children. In truth, the castaways’ return is a bid by aliens on a dying world who seek to inveigle tribute and rations for their starving civilisation by holding the male human colonists hostage.

Backed up by colonist Kitty Corum and rash, overconfident Star Patrol Special Service recruit Dino, Flash’s test ride becomes a rescue/diplomatic mission to the ‘Dark Sun of Dragor’ (S096: 22/3/ to 7/19/64): a most unconventional confrontation that culminates in the death of a star system, followed by a brief diversion. Spanning 26th July to November 8th, sequence S097 sees a family of giant, shapeshifting aliens crash on Earth and their colossal child faces typical panic and bigotry until Dale steps in to salve tensions and save ‘The Chameleon’, prior to sheer arrogance almost destroying the world’s hopes of halting chaotic storms caused by solar flares and securing reliable ‘Man-Made Weather’ (S098: 15/11/64 – 2/14/February 65). The problem is a clash of wills between abrasive Dr Franz Graf and Zarkov, but eventually the meteorological fireworks spark a world-saving inspiration…

Another mountaintop yarn finds Flash and junior shuttle pilot Wally Green captive of the ‘Lost Tribe of the Andes’ (S099: February 21st to 13th June), facing the bellicose descendants of Spanish conquistadors shielded from progress for hundreds of years and ultimately duelling dastardly power-hungry despot-in-waiting El Mono, before a return to modern civilisation brings the first Moon’s Fair and a transport nightmare when the best pilot in space gets involved in transporting Michelangelo’s David to the exhibition site. It all results in ‘The Greatest Art Theft’ (SI00: June 20th – October 10th) as petty tyrant/organised crime overlord Baron Borgaz purloins the masterpiece for his private orbital fiefdom and is vain enough to allow Flash entrance to search his sinister, thug-&-monster-stuffed citadel…

Next comes a yarn older British fans might recognise as part of the 1967 digest series World Adventure Library: a line that also included Mandrake the Magician, The Phantom, The Man from U.N.C.L.E. and Batman. Here Flash plays space cop in pursuit of devious disguise artist/thief Merlyn, who swindles his way across the solar system and even escapes Gordon’s justice… but not his fate or just deserts in year spanning comedic change-of-pace ‘Con Man in Space’ (SI01: 17/10/1965 to 30/01/1966). It’s followed by ‘A Visit From Mercury’ (February 6th to June 5th ’66 and another tale reprinted in the UK) as a trip to erupting volcano Vesuvius allows “impervium”-clad Flash, Dale & Zarkov to enter a undiscovered base deep in the magma, where visitors fleeing the first rock from the sun are hiding. Sheltered from geological upheaval and basking in Earth’s warmth, they’re ultimately restored to their point of origin with Earth’s aid, but only after Gordon deals with flaming recidivist usurper Janj…

Old-style mystery and monster hunting shapes survival saga ‘Death World’ (SI03: 12/06 – 23/10/66) as Flash and a Space Agency Survival Corps squad led by Sikh commander Singh are despatched to learn what caused the disappearance of an entire human colony and rise of a swathe of killer beasts. What they discover changes lives and the annals of bio-science, before Flash tangles with another low-orbit lowlife when ‘The Duke of Naples’ (SI04: 30th October 1966 – April 2nd 1967) reinstitutes privateering, slave-taking and gladiatorial combat on his private space station in his passionately plutocratic desire to return humanity to feudalism, after which big science engineering finds Flash and Zarkov mediating war between grudge-bearing Madame Mimi Duclos and martinet Godfrey Ledge as each attempts to seize control and complete construction of ‘The Moon Launcher’ (April 9th to July 16th). The ion launch platform is an obvious and permanent boon to human space expansion, but the project takes on desperate urgency after explorers on Pluto encounter trouble and the acceleration launcher offers the only possibility of getting a rescue ship to them in time.

The bitter war between the project chiefs sparks industrial strife, worker mutiny and even criminal changes against Flash’s new best pal Pancho, but sooner rather than later the job is done and Gordon (plus fugitive stowaway Pancho) are rocketing into infernal darkness and Raboy’s last adventure.  Sequence SI06 spans 23/7/1967 to 7/1/1968 (with Dan Barry taking over on December 24th) as the voyagers find the lost explorers but are ‘Captured on Pluto’ by super-advanced aliens playing mindgames and conjuring fantastic worlds and beings in a cosmic scaled romp deeply redolent of 1964 Star Trek pilot episode The Cage…

To Be Continued… by other hands

Each week as he toiled on the strip, Raboy produced ever-more expansive artwork filled with distressed damsels, deadly monsters, incredible civilisations, increasingly authentic space hardware and locales, and all sorts of outrageous adventure that continued until the illustrator’s untimely death in 1967. Perhaps it was a kindness. He was the last great Golden Age romanticist illustrator and his lushly lavish, freely-flowing adoration of perfected human form was beginning to stale in popular taste. The Daily feature had already switched to the solid, chunky, He-Manly burly realism of Dan Barry and Frank Frazetta, but here at least the last outpost of ethereally beautiful heroism and pretty perils still prevailed: a dream realm you can visit as easily and often as Flash, Dale & Zarkov popped between planets, just by tracking down this book and the one which preceded it…
© 2003 King Features Syndicate Inc. ™ & © Hearst Holdings, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Batman: The Golden Age volume 2


By Bob Kane, Bill Finger, Jerry Robinson, George Roussos & various (DC Comics)
ISBN: 978-1-4012-6808-4 (TPB/Digital edition)

This book includes Discriminatory Content produced in less enlightened times.

Batman: The Golden Age volume 2 is another paperback-format feast (there’s also a weightier, pricier and more capacious hardback Omnibus available) re-presenting our anniversarial Dark Knight’s earliest exploits. Set out in original publishing release order, it forgoes glossy, high-definition paper and reproduction techniques in favour of a newsprint-adjacent feel and the same flat, bright-yet-muted colour palette which graced the originals. Those necessary details dealt with, what you really need to know is that this is a collection of Batman tales depicting how the character grew into the major player who would inspire so many: developing a resilience to survive the stifling cultural vicissitudes coming decades would inflict upon him and his partner, Robin.

With the majority of material crafted by Bill Finger and illustrated by Bob Kane, there’s no fuss, fiddle or Foreword, and the book steams straight into mesmerising mysterious action, re-presenting astounding cape-&-cowl classics and iconic covers from Detective Comics #46-56, Batman #4-7 and the Dynamic Duo’s stories from World’s Best Comics #1 and World’s Finest Comics #2-3: cumulatively covering all groundbreaking escapades from December 1940 to November 1941…

Plunging right into perilous procedures, Detective #46 (Kane with regular embellishers Jerry Robinson & George Roussos) features the return of Batman’s most formidable fringe scientific adversary as the heroes must counteract the awesome effects of ‘Professor Strange’s Fear Dust’, after which #47 delivers drama on a more human scale in ‘Money Can’t Buy Happiness’. This action-packed homily of parental expectation and the folly of greed leads into Batman #4 (Winter 1941) which opens with a spiffy catch-all visual resume prior to ‘The Joker’s Crime Circus’, plus the piratical plunderings of ‘Blackbeard’s Crew and the Yacht Society!’. ‘Public Enemy No.1’ tells a gangster fable in the manner of Jimmy Cagney’s movie Angels With Dirty Faces, and ‘Victory For the Dynamic Duo’ involves the pair in the treacherous world of sports gambling.

Detective Comics #48 finds the lads defending America’s bullion reserves in ‘The Secret Cavern’, and they face an old foe when ‘Clayface Walks Again’ (Detective Comics #49, March 1941), as the deranged horror actor resumes his passion for murder and re-attempts to kill Bruce Wayne’s old girlfriend Julie. DC #50 pits Batman & Robin against acrobatic burglars in ‘The Case of the Three Devils’, leading neatly into Batman #5 (Spring 1941). Once again, Joker plays lead villain in ‘The Riddle of the Missing Card’, before the heroes prove their versatility by solving a quixotic crime in Fairy Land via ‘The Book of Enchantment’.

‘The Case of the Honest Crook’ follows: one of the key stories of Batman’s early canon. When a mugger steals only $6 from a victim, leaving much more behind, his trail leads to a vicious gang who almost beat Robin to death. The vengeance-crazed Dark Knight goes on a rampage of terrible violence that still resonates in the character to this day. The last story from Batman #5 –‘Crime does Not Pay’ – once again deals with kids going bad and their potential for redemption, after which World’s Best Comics#1 (Spring 1941 – destined to become World’s Finest Comics with its second issue) offers an eerie murder mystery concerning ‘The Witch and the Manuscript of Doom’. With most stories still coming from unsung genius Finger and art chores shared out between Kane, Robinson & Roussos, the team got a new top contributor as Fred Ray signed on to produce fantastic World’s Finest covers that offered the only venue to see the Gotham Gangbusters operating beside the Metropolis Marvel.

Sordid human scaled wickedness informs ‘The Case of the Mystery Carnival’, ‘The Secret of the Jade Box’ and ‘Viola Vane’ (Detective #51, 52 and 53 respectively): all mood-soaked crimebusting set-pieces featuring fairly run-of-the mill thugs, serving as perfect palate-cleansers for ‘The Man Who Couldn’t Remember!’ from WF #2: a powerful character play and a chilling conundrum that still packs a punch today.

‘Hook Morgan and his Harbor Pirates’ finds the Dynamic Duo cleaning up the docks whilst the quartet from Batman #6 (‘Murder on Parole’, ‘The Clock Maker’, ‘The Secret of the Iron Jungle’ and ‘Suicide Beat’) offer a broad range of yarns encompassing a prison-set human interest fable to the hunt for a crazed maniac to racket busting and back to the human side of being a cop. Detective #54 heads back to basics with spectacular mad scientist thriller ‘The Brain Burglar’, after which a visit to a ghost town results in eerie romp ‘The Stone Idol’ (Detective #55) before World’s Finest #3 launches a classic villain with the first appearance of one of Batman’s greatest foes in ‘The Riddle of the Human Scarecrow’.

The volume ends with a grand quartet of tales from Batman #7. ‘Wanted: Practical Jokers’ again stars the psychotic Clown Prince of Crime, whilst ‘The Trouble Trap’ sees our heroes crushing a spiritualist racket before heading for Lumberjack country to clear up ‘The North Woods Mystery’.

The last story is something of a landmark case, as well as being a powerful and emotional melodrama. ‘The People Vs. The Batman’ finds Bruce Wayne framed for murder and the Dynamic Duo finally sworn in as official police operatives. They would not be vigilantes again until the grim ‘n’ gritty 1980s…

Kane, Robinson and their compatriots created an iconography which carried Batman well beyond his allotted life-span until later creators could re-invigorate it. They added a new dimension to children’s reading… and their work is still captivatingly accessible.

Moreover, these early stories set the standard for comic superheroes. Whatever you like now, you owe it to these stories. Superman gave us the idea, but inspired and inspirational writers like Bill Finger refined and defined the meta-structure of the costumed crime-fighter.

Where the Man of Steel was as much Social Force and juvenile wish-fulfilment as hero, Batman and Robin did what we ordinary mortals wanted to do most: teach bad people the lessons they richly deserved…

These are tales of elemental power and joyful exuberance, brimming with deep mood and addictive action. Comic book heroics simply don’t come any better.
© 1940, 1941, 2017 DC Comics. All Rights Reserved.

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Showcase Presents Ghosts


By Leo Dorfman, Murray Boltinoff, John Broome, Jack Miller, Joe Samachson, George Kashdan, Bob Haney, Richard E. Hughes, Carl Wessler, Tony DeZuñiga, Jim Aparo, Sam Glanzman, Carmine Infantino, Sy Barry, Frank Giacoia, John Calnan, Bob Brown, George Tuska, Wally Wood, Curt Swan, Ruben Moreira, Irwin Hasen, Leonard Starr, Jerry Grandenetti, Nick Cardy, Ramona Fradon, Art Saaf, Michael William Kaluta, Jack Sparling, Win Mortimer, Ernie Chan, Buddy Gernale, Nestor, Quico & Frank Redondo, Alfredo Alcala, Gerry Talaoc, Nestor Malgapo, E.R. Cruz, Rico Rival, Abe Ocampo, Ernesto Patricio & various (DC Comics)
ISBN: 978-0-85768-836-1 (TPB)

Win’s Christmas Gift Recommendation: A Perfect Serving of Spectral Wonderment… 8/10

This book includes Discriminatory Content produced in less enlightened times.

Happy Dia de los Muertos! Let’s wind down our own Halloween celebrations and enjoy the more life-affirming Day of the Dead with a fabulously appropriate tome…

DC Comics came relatively late to funnybooks’ phantom-peril party, only bowing to the inevitable hunger for horror and mystery in the early 1950s. Comparatively straight-laced anthology The House of Mystery (cover-dated December 1951/January 1952) started the ball rolling with a gradual pick up that stopped dead after a hysterical censorship scandal and governmental witch-hunt created a spectacular backlash. It resulted in the industry adopting a castrating straitjacket of self-regulatory rules. Horror titles produced under the aegis of the Comics Code Authority were sanitised, anodyne affairs in terms of Shock and Gore, even though the appetite for suspense was still high. Nevertheless, in 1956 National/DC added sister title House of Secrets which specialised in taut human-interest tales in a fantasy milieu.

Stories were dialled back into marvellously illustrated, rationalistic, fantasy-adventure vehicles which dominated the market until the 1960s when super-heroes finally overtook them. When that bout of cape-and-cowl craziness peaked and popped, sales began bottoming out for Costumed Dramas and comics faced another punishing sales downturn.

Nothing combats censorship better than falling profits. As the end of the 1960s saw the superhero boom end with so many titles dead and some of the industry’s most prestigious series circling the drain too, the publishers took drastic action. This real-world Crisis led to the surviving players in the field agreeing to loosen their self-imposed restraints against crime and horror comics. Nobody much cared about gangster titles but as liberalisation coincided with another bump in public interest in all aspects of the Worlds Beyond, a resurrection of spooky comics was a foregone conclusion…

The chilling comeback resumed with The House of Mystery in 1968, and soon supernatural mystery titles dominated the marketplace, DC began a steady stream of launches along narrowly differing thematic lines. There was gothic horror romance title Sinister House of Secret Love, combat iteration Weird War Tales and, from late summer 1970, a bold new book which proudly boasted “True Tales of the Weird and Supernatural!” and challenged readers to read on… if they dared…

Originally released on St Valentine’s Day 2012, this sadly sole and singular monochrome encyclopaedia of the uncanny collects the first 18 issues of Ghosts, covering like a shroud September/October 1970 to September 1973. Lead scripter and supernatural enthusiast Leo Dorfman produced most of the original material for a title he is generally credited with creating. Dorfman was one of the most prolific scripters of the era (also working as David George and Geoff Brown) and a major scripter of horror stories for DC and Gold Key titles.

The thrills and chills begin with a graphic ‘Introduction’ from Tony DeZuñiga – probably scripted by editor Murray Boltinoff – prior to ‘Death’s Bridegroom’ (Dorfman & Jim Aparo) exposing a conniving bluebeard conman who finally picked the wrong girl to bilk and jilt. Sam Glanzman illustrated a fearsome tale of a shipbuilder slain while sabotaging a Nazi U-Boat before returning as a vengeful ‘Ghost in the Iron Coffin’, after which John Broome, Carmine Infantino & Sy Barry’s ‘The Tattooed Terror’ offers a slice of Golden Age anxiety (from Sensation Mystery #112, November 1952) with a career criminal seemingly haunted by his betrayed partner. Broome, Infantino & Frank Giacoia then relived ‘The Last Dream’ (Sensation Comics #107, December 1951-January 1952) as a 400-year old rivalry results in death for a 20th century sceptic, and this initial issue ends with a Western mystery in ‘The Spectral Coachman’ by Dorfman & DeZuñiga.

The second issue opens with a predatory ghost-witch persecuting a Carpathian village in Dorfman, John Calnan & George Tuska’s ‘No Grave can Hold Me’, whilst ‘Mission Supernatural’ (limned by Bob Brown & Wally Wood) reveals a WWII secret perpetually plaguing a modern English airport. A brace of revered reprints begin with light-hearted romp ‘The Sorrow of the Spirits’ from HoM #21 (December 1953, Jack Miller, Curt Swan & Ray Burnley) wherein a plague of famous phantoms attempt to possess their descendants’ bodies and ‘Enter the Ghost’ (Joe Samachson & Ruben Moreira, HoM #29, August 1954) finds an actor endangered by a dead thespian jealous of anyone recreating his greatest role…

With Dorfman still writing the lion’s share of new material, DeZuñiga renders the sorry fate of an unscrupulous diver seduced by discovery of a ‘Galleon of Death’, as Miller & Irwin Hasen’s ‘Lantern in the Rain’ (Sensation Mystery #113, January/February 1953) recounts an eerie railroad episode. Dorfman & Glanzman reunite to tell an original tale of ‘The Ghost Battalions’ who still haunt the world’s battle sites from Gallipoli to Korea.

Dorfman & DeZuñiga visited 17th century Scotland for #3’s opening occult observation, wherein a sea-born princess demands her child back from a wicked Laird in ‘Death is My Mother’, after which ‘The Magician who Haunted Hollywood’ (George Kashdan & Leonard Starr, HoM #10, January 1953) reveals how actor Dick Mayhew may have been aided by a deceased escapologist when playing the starring role in the magician’s biopic…

Drawn by Calnan, ‘The Dark Goddess of Doom’ reveals how a statue of Kali deals with the ruthless collector who stole her, after which anonymously authored ‘Station G.H.O.S.T.’ (limned by Moreira for HoM #17, August 1953) discloses how a man’s scheme to corruptly purchase a house haunted by his ancestor goes weirdly awry, before Tuska draws the saga of a WWII pilot who crashes into a desert nightmare and fatefully meets a ‘Legion of the Dead’. Following a reprinted fact-file on ‘Ghostly Miners’, Jerry Grandenetti depicts how a French landowner who unwisely disturbs a burial ground meets ‘The Screaming Skulls’…

Ghosts #4 starts with a secret history of one of America’s most infamous killers in ‘The Crimson Claw’ (Tuska & cover artist Nick Cardy) before ‘The Ghostly Cities of Gold’ (Grandenetti) reveals some truth about fabled, haunted Cibola as the first reprint reveals ‘The Man Who Killed his Shadow!’ Crafted by Miller, Swan & Burnley for HoM #16 (July 1953) it tells how a murdered photographer reaches from beyond the grave for justice. Thereafter, Ernie Chan limns ‘The Fanged Spectres of Kinshoro’, with a Big Game hunter pitting 20th century rationality against an ancient Ju-Ju threat, whilst the superb team of Bob Haney, Ramona Fradon & Charles Paris shine again with ‘The Legend of the Black Swan’ (HoM #48, March 1956) wherein three sceptical US students in Spain have an eerie encounter with doomed 17th century sailors before concluding on ‘The Threshold of Nightmare House’ with Calnan & Grandenetti illustrating inevitable doom for a woman haunted by her own ghost…

During the invasion of China in 1939, a greedy Japanese warlord meets his fate – and the spirits of the Mongol warriors whose tomb he robbed. Issue #5’s lead tale ‘Death, the Pale Horseman’ (Dorfman & Art Saaf) is followed by ‘The Hands from the Grave’ (Calnan) which somehow saves a young tourist from early death, after which reprint ‘The Telltale Mirror’ (by an unknown author & Grandenetti from HoM #13, April 1953) shows the dread downside of owning a looking glass that reflects the future…

Original yarn ‘Caravan of Doom’ (Jack Sparling) tells of an uncanny African warrior aiding enslaved Tommies in WWI Tanganyika, balanced by uncredited reprint ‘The Phantom of the Fog’ (Moreira art from HoM #123, June 1962), wherein valiant rebels overthrow a petty dictator with the apparent aid of an oceanic apparition, before Grandinetti’s ‘The Hearse Came at Midnight’ ends the issue with spoiled college frat boys learning an horrific lesson about hazing and initiation rites…

With Ghosts #6, page counts dropped from 52 to 32 pages and reprints were curtailed in favour of new material. Proceedings begin with Dorfman & Saaf’s cautionary tale of an avaricious arcane apothecary when ‘A Specter Poured the Potion’, before ‘Ride with the Devil’ (Calnan) tells of a most unexpected lift for an unwary hitchhiker whilst ‘Death Awaits Me’ (Grandenetti) exposes an eerie premonition marking the bizarre death of dancer Isadora Duncan. A rare DC outing for mercurial comics genius Richard E. Hughes illustrated by Sparling closes this slimline edition with ‘Ghost Cargo from the Sky’, exposing the incredible power of wishing to Pacific Islanders in the aftermath of WWII.

Michael William Kaluta stood in for Cardy as cover artist for #7 but Dorfman remained as writer, beginning with ‘Death’s Finger Points’ (Sparling) as a bullying Australian sheep farmer falls foul of aborigines he’d abused, whilst President in waiting Lyndon B. Johnson becomes the latest VIP to learn the cost of ignoring a Fakir’s warning in the Saaf-illustrated ‘Touch not my Tomb’.

Calnan closed things out with ‘The Sweet Smile of Death’ in a doomed romance between a 20th century photographer and a flighty Regency phantom who refused to let this last admirer go. ‘The Cadaver in the Clock’ (art by Buddy Gernale) opened #8, as a succession of heirs learn the downside of an inheritance which perforce included a mummified corpse inside a grand chronometer, but Glanzman’s ‘The Guns of the Dead’ shows a far more beneficial side to spectres as US marines are saved by their unstoppable – deceased – sergeant in 1944. Lovingly limned by the wonderful Nestor Redondo, ‘Hotline to the Supernatural’ recounts cases of supernatural premonition, whilst ‘To Kill a Tyrant’ (Quico Redondo) implausibly links the incredible last hours of Rasputin to the so-necessary death of Stalin decades later…

Ghosts #9 begins with Calnan’s ‘The Curse of the Phantom Prophet’ as an Indian holy man continues his war against the insolent British and rapacious white men long after his death by firing squad. ‘The Last Ride of Rosie the Wrecker’ (gloriously illustrated by Alfredo Alcala) then details the indomitable determination of a crushed US tank that shouldn’t have been able to move at all, and Grandenetti’s ‘The Spectral Shepherd of Dartmoor’ shows how a long-dead repentant convict still aids the weak and imperilled in modern Britain. Events end on an eerie note as vacationers see horrific apparitions but discover ‘The Phantom that Never Was’ has created a real ghost out of a hoax disaster in a genuine chiller drawn by Bob Brown & Frank McLaughlin.

Fact page ‘Experimenters Beyond the Grave’ – from Dorfman & Win Mortimer – details attempts by Harry Houdini, Mackenzie King and Aldous Huxley to send messages from the vale of shades before storytelling resumes in #10 with the Gerry Talaoc/Redondo Studio limned tale of a Vietnamese Harbinger of Doom in ‘A Specter Stalks Saigon’. Increasingly, superb Filipino artists took on art chores for the ubiquitous Dorfman’s scripts, such as ‘The Ghost of Wandsgate Gallows’ by Ernie Chan, detailing the inevitable fate of an English noble who hires and then betrays a contract killer. Although naval savant Sam Glanzman could be the only choice for the US maritime mystery ‘Death Came at Dawn’, Nestor Malgapo artfully handles horrific saga ‘The Hell Beast of Berkeley Square’, which for decades slaughtered guilty and innocents alike in prosperous Mayfair…

Ghosts #11 opened with Eufronio Reyes (E.R.) Cruz’s contemporary thriller wherein Nazi war criminals recovering long-hidden loot finally pay for their foul crimes in ‘The Devil’s Lake’, before Chan sketches a subway journey where the ‘Next Stop is Nowhere’. Graphic master Grandenetti visually captures ‘The Specter Who Stalked Cellblock 13’ (of San Quentin), and Brown returns to illustrate how a church organ killed anyone who played it in ‘The Instrument of Death’ before Sparling charts the sinister coincidences of ‘The Death Circle’ dictating that every US President elected in a year ending in zero dies in office. Of course, not everyone today is happy that the myth has been debunked…

Issue #12 featured ‘The Macabre Mummy of Takhem-Ahtem’ (Calnan): more a traditional monster-mash than purportedly true report, after which Grandinetti’s ‘Chimes for a Corpse’ sees a German watchmaker die for his malicious treatment of an apprentice before the always amazing Glanzman-limned ‘Beyond the Portal of the Unknown’ closed proceedings in magnificent style when French soldiers in 1915 uncover a terrible tomb and unleash a centuries old vendetta of vengeance…

Dorfman & Brown open issue #13 with ‘The Nightmare in the Sandbox’ detailing a war of voodoo practitioners in Haitian garden, whilst Calnan’s ‘Voice of Vengeance’ depicts macabre marionette vengeance on an embezzling official who silences their maker. ‘Have Tomb, Will Travel’ (Talaoc) sees contract killers using a scrapyard to lose their latest corpse discover their brand-new car comes with his unquiet spirit as an angry extra as Nestor Redondo depicts the inexplicable experience of lost GIs spending a night in a castle that isn’t there and learning ‘Hell is One Mile High’…

In #14, an heirloom wedding dress that comes with a curse doesn’t stop Diane Chapman marrying her young man in Gernale’s ‘The Bride Wore a Shroud’, whilst ‘Death Weaves a Web’ (Kashdan & Chan) sees a bullying uncle live to regret destroying his little nephew’s spider collection – but not for long. Talaoc’s ‘Phantom of the Iron Horseman’ finds a young train driver and host of passengers saved from disaster by the spirit of his disgraced grandpa before the issue ends with a catalogue of global portents warning of the appalling 1966 Aberfan tragedy in Cruz’s ‘The Dark Dream of Death’.

Gernale opened #15 with ‘The Ghost that Wouldn’t Die’, another case of domestic gold-digging, ectoplasmic doppelgangers and living ghosts, whilst ‘A Phantom in the Alamo’ (Carl Wessler & Glanzman) reveals the ghastly fate of the American who sold out the valiant defenders to the Mexican attackers. Alcala lent his prodigious gifts to the Balkan tale of a corpse collector who abandons morality and to profit from his sacred trust in ‘Who Dares Cheat the Dead?’ and Rico Rival delineates a gripping yarn wherein a corrupt surgeon is haunted by the hit-and-run victim he’d silenced in ‘Hand from the Grave’.

Ghosts #16 has a Spanish “gypsy” cursed to see ‘Death’s Grinning Face’ whenever someone is going to die, in a stirring thriller from Rival, and Glanzman again displays his uncanny knack for capturing shipboard life – and death – when, after 25 years, a deserter finally joins his dead comrades in ‘The Mothball Ghost’. Talaoc then delineates Napoleon Bonaparte’s services to France after the Little Corporal dies to become ‘The Haunted Hero of St. Helena’.

Issue #17 finds a phantom lady saving flood-lost children in Dorfman & Alcala’s moving ‘Death Held the Lantern High’ after which editor Murray Boltinoff & Talaoc reveal ‘The Specters Were the Stars’ as a film company tries to capture the horror of the 1920 Ulster Uprising, whilst Kashdan & Calnan expose the seductive allure and inescapable power of traditional Roma using ‘The Devil’s Ouija’ to combat centuries of prejudice…

This first terrifying tome terminates with Ghosts #18 and Alcala’s account of a hateful Delaware medicine chief still luring white men to his watery ‘Graveyard of Vengeance’, centuries after his death, whilst Abe Ocampo details the unlikely ‘Death of a Ghost’ at the hands of a very smug inventor who has just moved into a haunted mansion. Frank Redondo describes how villagers in old Austria knew young Adolf would come to a bad end because the boy had ‘The Eye of Evil’ and the spookiness at last ceases with Ernesto Patricio & Talaoc’s ‘Death Came Creeping’ as a visiting Egyptian merchant and his unique pet stop a sneak thief’s predations in an age-old manner…

These turbulent terror-tales captivated readers and critics alike when they first appeared and it’s almost certain that they saved DC during one of the toughest downturns in comics publishing history. Their blend of sinister mirth, classic horror scenarios and suspense set-pieces can most familiarly be seen in such children’s series as Goosebumps, Horrible Histories and their many imitators. Everybody loves a good healthy scare – especially today or even on those dark Christmas nights to come – and this beautiful gathering of ethereal escapism (sadly, still only available in monochrome and paperback) is a treat fans of fear and fantastic art should readily take to their cold, dead hearts…
© 1971, 1972, 1973, 2011 DC Comics. All Rights Reserved.

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Gary Gianni’s MonsterMen and Other Scary Stories


By Gary Gianni with William Hope Hodgson, Robert E Howard, Clark Ashton Smith, Percival Landon: lettered by Sean Konnot & Todd Klein (Dark Horse Books)
ISBN: 978-1-50670-480-7 (TPB) eISBN: 978-1-50670-481-4

This book includes some Discriminatory Content included for dramatic effect.

The tradition of extraordinary individuals banding together or even acting individually to confront night terrors and supernatural predators probably extends further back than even Gilgamesh or Beowulf. However, it really came to the fore once bards and skalds were rendered obsolete by cheap printing, mass literacy and pulp publishing. Action, crime, weird science and the supernatural all became strange bedfellows in service to monthly (sometimes fortnightly) blood-&-thunder adventures, with the best of the bunch still sneaking out the odd exploit nearly a century later…

The sublime stuff of legend in both story and illustrations has beguiled many a latecomer (Chaykin, Steranko, Wrightson and Kaluta first come to mind) but the absolute doyen of those that followed is Gary Gianni. Born in the Windy City in 1954, he graduated from the Chicago Academy of Fine Arts in 1976 and subsequently worked as a courtroom sketch artist, in network television and as an illustrator for the Chicago Tribune before breaking into comics with modern Classics Illustrated adaptations of Tales of O. Henry and 20,000 Leagues under the Sea.

This led him to Dark Horse Comics’ licensed titles with stints on The Shadow and Indiana Jones (…and the Shrine of the Sea Devil), with other strip work including Tarzan, Tom Strong and Batman. In 2004 he replaced John Cullen Murphy, becoming the third official artist on Prince Valiant, limning the epic Sunday feature until March 25th 2012. His book illustration work includes Savage Tales of Solomon Kane, Bran Mak Morn: The Last King, George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire prequel A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, Ray Bradbury’s Nefertiti-Tut Express and Michael Chabon’s Gentlemen of the Road.

Always busy and much in demand, Gianni nevertheless managed to create a number of linked serial sorties concerning a mystery-solving ghostbusters, most of which originally appeared in the back of Hellboy titles (specifically Hellboy Christmas Special, Wake the Dead, The Wild Hunt #5-6, Almost Colossus), plus a solo one-shot The MonsterMen: The Skull and the Snowman. The other material filling this scare package all come from The Dark Horse Book of Monsters; the Dead; Hauntings & Witchcraft…

Set in the golden-hued yet shadowy environs of America’s pulp past, the tales are witty, elegant thematic pastiches of rip-roaring thriller-chiller masterworks – including early Batman yarns – and are preceded by a whimsical ‘Foreword by Gary Gianni’ and effusive ‘Introduction by Michael Chabon’.

The far too few exploits of The MonsterMen open with ‘Silent as the Grave’ as first seen in Hellboy: Wake the Dead #1-5, revealing a secret organisation who insert themselves in weird events such as the disappearance of actress Julia Adler, strange murder of her lover and inexplicable appearance of ghost images on the latest rushes of maverick director Larry St. George. Doggedly pursued by savvy reporter Sunset Lane, the famed movie maven has a dark unpleasant personal pestilence, but uses it for good, like battling occult whacko monster-wrangler Crulk beside sartorial nightmare/immortal mystic warrior monk Benedict(us) of the Venerable Guild of Corpus Monstrum. The pair are almost insufficient when the fiendish forces behind the plot go on the attack.

Almost…

A shorter, lighter yarn follows in ‘Autopsy in B-Flat’ (Hellboy: Almost Colossus#1-2) as, whilst laboriously exhuming a suspect, Benedict is regaled by an old exploit of his comrade: a tropical island mystery involving monstrous, seductive creatures and pirates who can’t stay dead, that nearly proves his distracting end during the current case…

‘A Gift for the Wicked’ (Hellboy Christmas Special) finds the odd couple cleaning an old dark house of unwanted tenants at the supposedly happiest time of the year – albeit with a little festive assistance – before ‘The Skull and the Snowman’ sees Sunset Lane despatched from a Tibetan Lamasery, carrying a cursed object to the Corpus Monstrum, just as Crulk returns to bedevil Benedict, begging aid to escape marauding Puttyfoons dogging his misshapen steps…

As reality goes wild and the modern metropolis roils under ancient satanic scourgings, all parties converge on the skull (still trying to get out of Tibet) and the power it promises. The quest draws out a legion of terrors and concludes with shocking revelations about two of the world’s most infamous monsters…

The comics cavorting concludes with a staggeringly eccentric and beautiful horror romp as ‘O Sinner Beneath Us’ (Hellboy: The Wild Hunt #5-6) channels Little Nemo in Slumberland in a classic unearthly child tale, with new recruits Sunset and Crulk taking pole positions for a wild chase for the salvation of innocence and retrieval of the ghastly Mustacchio Demoniac…

The Other Scary Stories section of this timeless terror tome offers classic pulp horror prose spectacularly illustrated and illuminated by Gianni, opening with a masterful vignette by William Hope Hodgson as ‘The Gateway of the Monster’ details the crushing fears and tragic outcomes generated by a haunted room in an English country house… and what celebrated spirit photographer Carnacki the Ghost Breaker must endure to end the appalling threat it poses…

It’s followed by the author’s stand-alone nautical tale ‘A Tropical Horror’, detailing the last voyage of the SS Glen Doon out of Melbourne, relentlessly and systematically stripped of its crew by a sea thing both ravenous and pitiless.

Wry, sardonic humour infuses a seductive tale of a powerful woman who takes what she wants in Clark Ashton Smith’s ‘Mother of Toads’, before Robert E. Howard’s horror western ‘Old Garfield’s Heart’ proves he wasn’t all about bulging thews and swinging swords. He could mix a mood as well as any horror master and inspire some potent illustration too…

Wrapping up the bedtime reading is one last period ghost story of haunted houses and murderous rooms imaginatively illuminated, as ‘Thurnley Abbey’ by Percival Landon, all sealed down with a lavishly illumined ‘Biography’.

Madcap, frenzied, skilfully constructed and just plain fun, MonsterMen and Other Scary Stories is stuffed with astounding imagery, packed with incidental iniquities such as zombie cowboys, squid corsairs, abominable snowmen, spectral skulls, movie phantoms, dark dragons and flabby flying demons, all delivered in snippets of smartly nostalgic nonsense. This is kids’ stuff for adults and there’s simply not enough of it, so get what there is while you can, fright fans!
Gary Gianni’s MonsterMen and Other Scary Stories™ © 1996, 1997, 1999, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2009, 2012, 2017 Gary Gianni. Introduction © 2012, 2017 Michael Chabon. All rights reserved. All other material ™, © or ® respective holders and owners.

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Bunny vs Monkey: The Gigantic Joke Fight!


By Jamie Smart, with Sammy Borras (David Fickling Books)
ISBN: 978-1-78845-334-9 (Digest HB)

Bunny vs Monkey has been the hairy/fuzzy backbone of The Phoenix since the very first issue back in 2012: recounting a madcap vendetta gripping animal arch-enemies in an idyllic arcadia masquerading as more-or-less mundane but critically endangered English woodlands.

Concocted with gleefully gentle mania by cartoonist, comics artist and novelist Jamie Smart (Fish Head Steve!; Looshkin; Max and Chaffy, Flember), his trendsetting, mindbending multi award-winning yarns have been wisely retooled as graphic albums available in digest editions such as this one.

All the tail-biting tension and animal argy-bargy began yonks ago after an obnoxious little anthropoid plopped down in some serene British woodland, in the wake of a disastrous local space shot. Crashlanded in Crinkle Woods, scant miles from his launch site, lab animal Monkey reckoned himself the rightful owner of a strange new world… despite every effort to dissuade him by reasonable, rational, sensible, genteel, contemplative forest resident Bunny. No amount of patience, propriety or good breeding on the part of the laid-back lepine could curtail, contain or control the incorrigible idiot ape, who to this day remains a rude, noise-loving, chaos-creating, troublemaking lout…

A keen rivalry arose between them, as the ape intruder crudely made himself at home, and to this day Monkey remains a rude, noise-loving, chaos-creating, troublemaking lout intent on building his perfect “Monkeyopia” – with or without the aid of evil supergenius ally Skunky or their “henches” Metal Steve and Action Beaver…

Problems are exacerbated by other unconventional Crinkle creatures, like Pig, Weenie, Ai, Lucky, Le Fox and especially mad scientist Skunky whose intellect and cavalier attitude to life presents as a propensity for building extremely dangerous robots, Brobdingnagian bio-beasts and sundry other super-weapons…

Here the mundane multi-coloured manic war of nerves and mega-munitions is temporarily terminated for a twits & giggles diversion in magnificent monochrome as the entire cast are embroiled in a mysterious competition to determine who knows the best jokes – a cunning ploy to resurrect the subgenre of cartoon joke books that made the 1960s, Seventies and Eighties such a tedious, ear-bending chore for teachers and parents and so much fun for us…

The search to determine “The Funniest Creature in the Woods” grips everybody and over ‘Welcome to the Woods’, ‘Bunny Makes a Funny’, ‘Monkey’s Merciless Mirth!’, ‘Skunky’s Genius Jokes!’, ‘Weenie and Pig’s First Go at Telling Jokes!’, ‘Lights. Camera. Action Beaver!’, ‘Metal Steve and Metal E.V.E.’s Joke Processing’, ‘Le Fox is Far Too Cunning’, ‘Ai is So Fast’, ‘A Very Lucky Joke!’, ‘Weenie and Pig Return!’, ‘Readers’ Jokes – You Make the Laughs!’ and ‘And Now, the Conclusion!’, deliver themed and specialised chapter collections of Dad Jokes, Bum Jokes, Fart Jokes, Poo Jokes, Food Jokes, Baby Jokes, Knock-Knock Jokes and Pirate Jokes, as well as jests & japes about Genius, Robots, Computers, School, Experiments, Monsters, Ghosts, Chickens and Road Crossing, whilst also offering some riddles, brain-teasers and even tips on what Jokes are and How To Tell Them…

Daft, compulsively addictive, dangerously read-out-loud-able and fearfully unputdownable, this cutting edge retro-treat is the perfect gift… for someone else’s kids…
Text and illustrations © Fumboo Ltd. 2024. All rights reserved.

Win’s Christmas Gift Recommendation: Because You’re Only Young Once, unless you’re a Guy… 8/10

Bunny vs Monkey: The Gigantic Joke Fight! Will be published on October 10th 2024 and is available for pre-order now.

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The Littlest Pirate King


By David B. & Pierre Mac Orlan, translated by Kim Thompson (Fantagraphics Books)
ISBN: 978-1-60699-403-0 (HB)

Just one more day, me Buckos!

Tim Burton has pretty much cornered the market on outlandish, spooky fairy tales masked as edgy all-ages fantasy, but if you and your kids have a fondness for scary fables and macabre adventure with a uniquely European flavour you might want to seek out this supremely impressive yarn of unquiet buccaneers and phantom piracy.

Pierre Mac Orlan was one of the nom-de-plumes of celebrated French author, musician and performer Pierre Dumarchey who – between his birth in 1882 and death in 1970 – managed to live quite a number of successful, productive and action-packed lives. As well as writing proper books for sensible folk, he also crafted a wealth of artistic materials including children’s fables like this one, hundreds of popular songs and quite a bit of rather outré pornography.

A renowned Parisian Bohemian, Mac Orlan sang and played accordion in nightclubs and cabaret. He was wounded in the trenches in 1916, subsequently becoming a war correspondent. When the conflict ground to a conclusion, he evolved into a celebrated film and photography critic as well as one of France’s most admired songwriters and novelists.

By contrast, David B. is a founder member of the groundbreaking strip artists’ conclave L’Association, and has won numerous awards including the Alph’ Art for comics excellence and European Cartoonist of the Year. He was born Pierre-Françoise “David” Beauchard on February 9th 1959, and began his comics career in 1985 after studying advertising at Paris’ Duperré School of Applied Arts. His seamless blending of Artistic Primitivism, visual metaphor, high and low cultural icons, as seen in such landmarks as Babel, Epileptic and Best of Enemies: A History of US and Middle East Relations, Nocturnal Conspiracies and many more, are here augmented by a welcome touch of morbid whimsy and stark fantasy imbuing this particular gem with a cheery ghoulish intensity only Charles Addams and Ronald Searle might possibly match.

Mac Orlan’s tale perhaps owes more to song than storybook, with its oddly jumpy narrative structure, but M’sieur B.’s canny illustration perfectly captures the true flavour and spirit of grim wit as it recounts the tale of the ghostly crew of The Flying Dutchman, accursed mariners destined to wander the oceans, never reaching port, destroying any living sailors they encounter and craving nothing but the peace of oblivion.

Their horrendous existence forever changes when, on one of their periodic night raids, they slaughter the crew of a transatlantic liner but save a baby found on board. Their heartless intention is to rear the boy until he is old enough to properly suffer at their skeletal hands, but as years pass the eagerly anticipated day becomes harder and harder for the remorseless crew to contemplate…

Stark and vivid, scary and heartbreakingly sad, as only a children’s tale can be, this darkly swashbuckling romp is inexplicably not a global classic in every home (yet) but remains a classy act with echoes of Pirates of the Caribbean (which it predates by nearly a century) that will charm, inspire and probably cause a tear or two to well up.
© 2009 Gallimard Jeunesse. This edition © 2010 Fantagraphics Books. All rights reserved.

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The Phoenix Presents: The Pirates of Pangaea Book 1


By Daniel Hartwell & Neill Cameron (David Fickling Books)
ISBN: 978-1-910200-08-7 (TPB)

Why are pirates so mean? I don’t know, they just AARRRR…

Moreover, nobody tells pirates they can only have one day to be themselves, so here’s more buccaneer-bootied bravado and bombast with a little lizardly allure tipped in too…

The Phoenix has been the saving grace of British kids’ comics since 2012, regaling readers with anthology comics for girls, boys and all points between, offering humour, adventure, quizzes, puzzles and educational material in a joyous parade of cartoon fun and fantasy.

Although best known for its comedy stylings, it’s always been pretty strong in its action and mystery yarns…

Crafted by Daniel Hartwell (Urban Beasts) and Neill Cameron (Mo-Bot High, How to Make Awesome Comics), by far the most engaging thriller so far featured is a sublime combination of rip-roaring endeavour and enticing fantasy blending canny corsairs, boldly brilliant kids, suspenseful swashbuckling escapades and gloriously gigantic dinosaurs.

The alternate-history lesson begins with 12-year old Sophie Delacourt voyaging out from England in 1717 to join her Uncle Silas, newly appointed Governor of the lost land of Pangaea.

The colossal continent is reputed the oldest landmass on Earth and a place primarily inhabited by stupendous reptiles of land and air. Master Bosun William takes a paternal interest in the girl, explaining the wondrous nature of the place, but nothing prepares her for the shock of a colossal “long-neck” diving under their vessel and lifting it bodily into the air.

The interior of Pangaea is a vast shifting ocean of long grass afflicted and infested with fast, deadly predators no man afoot could survive or escape, so all ships are picked up out of blue Caribbean waters then carried upon Brobdingnagian beasts’ backs between the rocky high points and plateaux where puny humanity has built its dwellings and settlements.

The big beasts are kept docile and compliant by administration of a herb dubbed “Snuff” and piloted by a skilful class of inland mariners known as “Snuffmen”…

Sophie has never seen anything so wonderful in her life but, as Snuffman John guides the magnificent Bessie and her formerly-seagoing burden towards the Governor’s capital city, the amazed lass catches sight of an ever-present peril besetting this latest outpost of empire.

Through the shifting verdure hails a pirate vessel strapped atop a terrifying black Land Leviathan and soon the voyagers are fighting for their lives in an ‘Ambush on Pangaea’.

Sophie is locked in her cabin as the ferocious freebooters’ devastating attack pillages the outmatched victim-vessel. After insanely cruel Captain Brookes cries victory and makes the crew walk the plank to their deaths, she is the only survivor…

The second chapter opens with the Governor’s niece imprisoned on Brookes’ land-ship, a potential goldmine in ransom for a rapacious maniac. Furiously defiant, Sophie is slowly befriended by the brute’s cabin boy Timothy Kelsey. This lad is the tormented last survivor of a previous foray, having witnessed the murder of his mentor and master Dr. Shaw: a naturalist come to the lost land to catalogue the ‘Indigenous Fauna of the Pangaean Land-Mass’.

After experiencing Brookes’ cruelty, Sophie agrees to assist Timothy’s desperate plan for escape but as they make their move to fly off on the ship’s captive “Great Wing” lizard, they stumble over the first mate. Ten Gun Jones is also engaged in fleeing on the “Razor Beak”, but the din of their stumbling over each other rouses the ship and the three are forced to flee together into the night amidst a hail of musket fire…

Soon the trio are hopelessly ‘Lost in the Sea of Green’ as their gravely wounded pterosaur expires just shy of a high-projecting stony pinnacle. With deadly “Land Sharks” and “Belly Rippers” closing in, all hope seems lost until an even deadlier beast pounces. The “Tyrant” makes short work of the circling velociraptors, but its ravening hunger remains unsated. Only sheer terror carries the fugitives to relative safety – a rocky islet where, frantically scaling the igneous tower with the horror snapping at their heels, they tumble into a cave and find themselves inside an abandoned pirate lair…

The dusty den holds weapons, lamps, water, liquor and even brontosaur jerky: everything needful to outwait the roaring giant outside, but after a sleepless night with Ten Gun less than forthcoming about why he was deserting, Sophie conceives a dangerous idea.

Feeding the monster chunks of dried meat liberally doused in Snuff found in a barrel, in an act of seeming madness Sophie drops onto the horror’s head and soon has it – her, actually – acting like a very dangerous steed…

The fearless child then explains how an elderly servant in England taught her the secrets of horse-whispering before christening her scaly new pet “Cornflower”. Timothy is elated that they can use the Tyrant to safely cross the lethal Sea of Green to civilisation, but Jones has other plans…

The enigmatic seadog’s guarded directions soon bring them to an active volcano – in truth the neutral port used as safe-haven by all pirates plying the grassy deeps. In a tavern the children learn the ‘Secrets of Raptor Rock’ and are introduced to bombastic Captain Ford, who had planted Ten Gun in Brookes’ crew to secretly secure the second half of a disputed treasure map. With both pieces in hand the privateer immediately sets to emerald sea, but Ten Gun insists on bringing Sophie and Tim along. They have barely left the rock before Cornflower breaks out of her pen and doggedly follows…

The children are put to work and Sophie befriends Iwakian Snuffman Tak: a native Pangaean who steers the buccaneers’ bombastic brontosaur Gertrude, before the exploratory voyage comes to a sudden stop after crossing the eerie “Longnecks Graveyard” and approaches the fantastic plateau known in legend as “The Forbidden Isle”…

An expeditionary party is soon driving inland to an ancient temple in ‘Quest for the Golden Skull’ but upon entering, the greedy raiders are astounded to discover the priceless artefact they’re hunting is not a gilded human head but actually a full-size tyrant’s skull cast in precious metal. That’s when ferocious native defenders – the Kron Iwakia – ambush the party, driving them back to the relative safety of Gertrude. Sadly, the rapidly retreating reivers have no idea of what’s happened in the meantime. Young Kelsey, resentful of being enslaved again, has – more by accident than design – blown up the ship and stampeded Gertrude off into the Sea of Green, just as maniacal Captain Brookes arrives intent on reclaiming his map and slaughtering everyone…

Even though the enraged Iwakians vanished when the ship started burning, Ford’s rattled crew are no match for the nautical newcomers and things look bleak and bloody. Sophie and Kelsey desperately retreat to the temple, chased by Brookes’ men with death seemingly imminent until, from nowhere, Cornflower arrives and eagerly despatches the pursuing pirates. This draws the Kron Iwakia from concealment to guide Cornflower and the kids to their destination. The wilderness warriors worship Tyrant lizards and, after a strange ceremony, deem Sophie and her reptile holy. That’s when Tim realises the Golden Skull is not a mere ornament but battle armour for a tyrannosaur Chosen One…

With the Iwakians in close support, the valiant children return to the ongoing pirate war to settle a number of old scores before taking control of their own destinies…

Superbly engaging and utterly enthralling, this astounding all-action romp is a riotous delight of astonishing adventure: a fabulous first compilation that also includes many maps and crucial fact pages on assorted dinosaurs from Dr. Shaw’s ‘Indigenous Fauna of the Pangaean Land-Mass’: specifically ‘Sauropoda’, ‘Pterosauria’, ‘Dromaeosauridae’ and ‘Tyrannosauridae’, all scrupulously crafted, corrected and annotated by erstwhile cabin boy and greatest living expert Timothy Kelsey…

Bright, breezy furious fun for the entire family, so don’t miss this unburied treasure…
Text © Daniel Hartwell 2015. Illustrations © Neill Cameron 2015. All rights reserved.

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The Adventures of Captain Pugwash: Best Pirate Jokes


By Ian D. Rylett & Ian Hillyard (Red Fox/Random House)
ISBN: 978-1-862-30793-3 (PB)

The problem with pirates is that they don’t know when enough’s enough, so here’s another review to reconnoitre: tangentially celebrating the greatest buccaneer of all…

John Ryan was an artist and storyteller who straddled three distinct disciplines of graphic narrative, with equal qualitative if not financial success.

Born in Edinburgh on March 4th 1921, Ryan was the son of a diplomat, served during WWII in Burma and India and – after attending the Regent Street Polytechnic (1946-48) – took up a post as assistant Art Master at Harrow School from 1948 to 1955. It was during this time that he began contributing strips to Fulton Press publications, in the company’s glossy distaff alternative Girl, but most especially to the pages of legendary “boys’ paper” The Eagle.

On April 14th 1950, Britain’s grey, post-war gloom was partially lifted with the premier issue of a new comic which literally shone with light and colour. Soon, avid excited boys (and girls!) were understandably enraptured with the gloss and dazzle of Dan Dare, Pilot of the Future: the charismatic star-turn venerated to this day and licensed media stars like PC 49…

The Eagle was a tabloid-sized paper with full-colour inserts alternating with text and a range of various other comic features. “Tabloid” is a big page and you can get a lot of material onto each one. Deep within, on the bottom third of a monochrome page was an 8-panel strip entitled Captain Pugwash – The story of a Bad Buccaneer and the many Sticky Ends which nearly befell him. Ryan’s quirky, spiky style also lent itself to the numerous spot illustrations required throughout the comic every week.

Pugwash, his harridan (sorry, not my word) of a wife and the useless, lazy crew of the Black Pig ran (or more accurately capered and fell about) until issue #19 when the feature disappeared. This was no real hardship for Ryan who had been writing and illustrating Harris Tweed – Extra Special Agent as a full-page (tabloid, remember, an average of twenty panels a page, per week!) from Eagle #16 onwards (and there’s a lost star and canon well worth revisiting sometime soon). Super sleuth Tweed ran as a page for three years until 1953 when it dropped to a half-page strip and was repositioned as a purely comedic venture…

In 1956 the indefatigable old sea-dog (I mean old Horatio Pugwash but it could so easily be Ryan) made the jump to children’s picture books. He was an unceasing story-peddler with a big family, but somehow also found time to be head cartoonist at The Catholic Herald for forty years.

A Pirate Story was first published by Bodley Head before switching to children’s publishing specialist Puffin for further editions and more adventures. It was the first of a vast (sorry, got away with meself again there!) run of kids’ books on a numerous subjects. Pugwash himself starred in 21 tomes: there were a dozen books based on the animated TV series Ark Stories, plus Sir Prancelot and many more creations. Ryan worked whenever he wanted to in the comics world and eventually his books and strips began to cross-pollinate.

The primary Pugwash is very traditional in format with blocks of text and single illustrations to illuminate a particular moment. But by the publication of Pugwash the Smuggler (1982) entire sequences were lavishly painted comic strips, with as many as eight panels per page, and including word balloons. A fitting circularity to his interlocking careers and a nice treat for us old-fashioned comic drones.

When A Pirate Story was released in 1957 the BBC pounced on the hot property, commissioning Ryan to produce 5-minute episodes: 86 in all from 1957 to 1968 and later reformatted in full colour and rebroadcast in 1976. In the budding arena of 1950s animated television cartoons, Ryan developed a new system for producing cheap, high quality animations to a tight deadline. He began with Pugwash, keeping the adventure milieu, but replaced shrewish wife with a tried-&-true boy assistant. Tom the Cabin Boy is the only capable member of a crew which included such visual archetypes as Willy, Barnabas and Master Mate (fat, thin, tall and all dim), instantly affirming to the rapt, young audience that grown-ups are fools and kids do, in fact, rule.

For eight years Ryan simultaneously drew a weekly Captain Pugwash strip for The Radio Times, going on to produce a number of other animated series including “latch-key” pals Mary, Mungo and Midge, The Friendly Giant and the aforementioned Sir Prancelot. There were also adaptations of his many other children’s books and in 1997 Pugwash was rebooted in an all-new CGI animated TV series.

The first book – A Pirate Story – sets the scene with a delightful clown’s romp as the so-very-motley crew of the Black Pig sail in search of buried treasure, only to fall into a cunning trap set by the truly nasty corsair Cut-Throat Jake. Luckily, Tom is as smart as his shipmates and Captain are not…

A 2008 edition of A Pirate Story from Frances Lincoln Children’s Books came with a free audio CD, and just in case I’ve tempted you beyond endurance here’s a full list of the good (ish) Captain’s exploits that you should make it your remaining life’s work to unearth…

There’s Captain Pugwash: A Pirate Story (1957), Pugwash Aloft (1960), Pugwash and the Ghost Ship (1962), Pugwash in the Pacific (1963), Pugwash and the Sea Monster (1976), Captain Pugwash and the Ruby (1976), Captain Pugwash and the Treasure Chest (1976), Captain Pugwash and the New Ship (1976), Captain Pugwash and the Elephant (1976), The Captain Pugwash Cartoon Book (1977), Pugwash and the Buried Treasure (1980), Pugwash the Smuggler (1982), Captain Pugwash and the Fancy Dress Party (1982), Captain Pugwash and the Mutiny (1982), Pugwash and the Wreckers (1984), Pugwash and the Midnight Feast (1984), The Battle of Bunkum Bay (1985), The Quest of the Golden Handshake (1985), The Secret of the San Fiasco (1985), Captain Pugwash and the Pigwig (1991) and Captain Pugwash and the Huge Reward (1991). These are all pearls beyond price and a true treasure of graphic excellence, so if you feel tempted to go all “Pirate Pokémon”, feel free to get ‘em all….

Although currently, cruelly out of print, Pugwash’s canon (the only sort this band of rapscallions can be trusted with) are widely available through online vendors and should be a prize you set your hearts on acquiring.

As you might expect, such success breeds ancillary projects, and cleaving close to the wind whilst running in the master’s wake is this minor mirthquake no sassy brat could possibly resist. Compiled by Ian D. Rylett and copiously illustrated by Ian Hillyard in stark monochrome, it’s a fairly standard cartoon joke book as beloved by generations of youngsters and loathed beyond endurance by parents, guardians, older siblings and every other adult whose patience is proven quite exhaustible. It’s the book your teacher confiscates in class but never returns at the end of term…

Divided into themed chapters ‘The Captain’s Crackers’, ‘Jakes’ Jests’, ‘Blundering Bucaneers, Hysterics in the Harbour’, ‘Fishy Funnies’ and ‘All Aboard’, the level of wit is almost lethal in its predictability and vintage (Q: why did the irate sailor go for a pee? A: he wanted to be a pirate.) but the relentless pace and remorseless progression are actually irresistible in delivery.

With the world crashing down around us and the water levels inexorably rising, we don’t have that much to laugh at, so why don’t you go and find something to take your minds off the chaos to come? Your kids will thank you and if you’ve any life left in your old and weary soul, you will too…
Pugwash books © 1957-2009 John Ryan and (presumably) the Estate of John Ryan. All rights reserved. Best Pirate Jokes © Britt-Allcroft (Development Ltd) Limited 2000. All rights worldwide Britt-Allcroft (Development Ltd) Limited.

And in case you were wondering…

This book includes Discriminatory Content produced in less enlightened times.

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Pirate Stew


By Neil Gaiman, illustrated by Chris Riddell OBE (Bloomsbury Children’s Books)
ISBN: 978-1-5266-1472-8 (HB) eISBN: 978-1-5266-1470-4

Ha-haarrrr! Tempests toss, the world turns summore and once again ‘tis time to Internationally Talk Like a Pirate!

Happily, it’s never too soon to begin practicing your piracy, and with that in mind here’s a pretty sharp kids’ picture book by certain someones with a lot of not-so-deeply buried treasures to their names getting in on the game, and producing a pretty and potent primer – if not route map – to a venerable profession and therapeutic briny waves…

Delivered as a flotilla of pictorial spreads peppered with blocks of rhyming text, this is the story of that night when Mum and Dad caught dinner and a show and hired ship’s cook Long John McRon to watch and feed their kids…

Before long the house was packed with pirates and before much longer, both brother and sister were acutely aware that if you ate pirate stew, strange things began to happen…

Equally prolific and far-ranging, both Gaiman and illustrator, author, political cartoonist and former UK Children’s Laureate Riddell have done way more stuff than I have time to cite, and it’s all top quality too, so after scoping it all out you should circle back to this wild ride: one guaranteed to deliver all the thrills and frills any adventure-starved tyke or tyro might expect.

Go on, get stuck in and heave ho ho, me hearties…
Text © Neil Gaiman, 2020. Illustrations © Chris Riddell, 2020. All rights reserved.