Category: Best of British

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What’s He Like in Bed? – A Rough Guide to the Bedside Manners of the Human Male


By Marcel Feigel & Brian Heaton (Arrow Books)
ISBN: 978-0-09-944660-X

Warning: this book is rude and a bit nude, so if you’re of a sensitive nature and don’t think sex is funny it could all be a bit of a shock and potentially lead to the sundering of your dreams and life-long disillusionment.

As Winter Part III (This Time it’s Personal!!!) settles in around my oversized, sun-deprived ears, I again turn to an old cartoon book to inculcate a little warmth and cheer to my gloomy days. Here’s another little known collection of cartoons about British bedtime habits to tide us all over: at least if we have to submerge ourselves in duvets and cocoa we might as well have a giggle at the same time…

Of course it’s all really just one more excuse to bemoan the loss of those once-ubiquitous cheap ‘n’ cheerful cartoon-packed paperbacks which are now all-but-forgotten fossils of a once mighty industry; fast fading as the more palatable sounding Graphic Novels and Trade Collections carve a niche in our psyches and on our bookshelves.

What’s He Like in Bed? is a solid example of a lost art form: saucily-themed gag-books which were the last commercial gasp in a tradition of pictorial entertainments that began with Punch and evolved into a racy standby of British life for nearly a century before fading away to loiter around bargain bins, Jumble sales and junk shops…

This particular raucous, ribald and hilariously risqué treatise catalogues the ploys and peregrinations of that forgotten popular hero “The Guy Who Gets All the Girls” and thus contains lots of wickedly naked people making a mess, scandalising the neighbours, and generally letting the side down more than just a bit…

Masquerading as invaluable tips and hints, the assorted chapters fully expose the tactics and foibles of ‘The Truck Driver’, ‘The Customs Man’ and even ‘Country and Western’ fans before breaking for the first of a recurring exploration of inflatable friend aficionados, after which ‘The Translator’ and the ‘Stone Mason’ both fail to live up to the modern girl’s exorbitant and exaggerated expectations.

‘The Estate Agent’ soon gives way to ‘Inflatable Doll #1’ and ‘The Librarian’ to ‘Inflatable Doll #2’ before the urbane legends of ‘The Milkman’ and ‘The Footballer’ are finally tackled…

‘Inflatable Doll #3’ leads to a fully extended chapter on ‘The Macho Man’ (including especially some handy hints on ‘The Condom Moment’, ‘The Importance of Momentum’ and those all-important ‘Orgasm Restrain-Postponement Techniques’), before a brief interlude with ‘Inflatable Doll #4’ gives us all a moment to catch our breaths (big ones too)…

There’s an educational advantage to be had in dealing with ‘The Don’ (Oxbridge not Corleone) and the full SP on ‘The Jockey’, whilst ‘The Detective’ and ‘The Barrister’ reveal facets of human nature best left vague, whilst both ‘The Dentist’ and ‘The Airline Pilot’ act just as you’d suspect – even if ‘The Bishop’ doesn’t.

Also on show are the habits of ‘The Farmer’, ‘Inflatable Doll #5’, stage magician ‘The Great Popoff’, the secrets of ‘Corporate Life’ in the Post Room, for Middle Management and even under the Chairman but as always ‘The Actor’, ‘The Policeman’ and the truly disturbing sight of glamour icon Margaret Thatcher as ‘Inflatable Doll #6’ act as sure signs that those so-different times are gone forever.

Still with secrets to conceal are ‘The Taxi Driver’, ‘The Accountant’, ‘The Athlete’, ‘The Computer Man’, ‘Frenchmen’ in general, ‘The Vicar’, ‘The Disc Jockey’ and ‘The Photographer’, but eventually even modern men need a bit of a rest and the lecture concludes with ‘The Revenge of the Inflatable Doll’…

Dedicated to the certain premise that (other) people’s sexual exploits are simultaneously better than yours and still truly hilarious, this snappy little monochrome tome is a cut above much of the era’s rather tawdry treatment of the subject, superbly rendered and still marvellously entertaining even in these liberally licentious times – and for a change, this one is still readily available from a range of internet retailers…

British cartooning has been magnificently served over the centuries by masters of form, line, wash and most importantly smart ideas, repeatedly poking our funny bones, pricking our pomposities, stroking our happy places and feeding our fascinations, and this sort of thing used to be bread ‘n’ butter in our game. We’re all going to really miss them if they do disappear forever, so why not find a shy, alluring little bookshelf and start filling it with mucky material like this…
Heaton is a competent artist in the modern style and the gags range from contrived to fiendishly clever, all delivered with easy charm and utterly without text – never an easy job in cartooning. If you find this book or anything similar give it a try, as you really will miss them once they disappear forever.
© 1992 Brian Howard Heaton. All Rights Reserved.

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Doctor Who Graphic Novels volume 15: Nemesis of the Daleks


By Richard Starkings, John Tomlinson, John Freeman, Paul Cornell, Dan Abnett, Steve Moore, Lee Sullivan, John Ridgway, Steve Dillon, David Lloyd & many and various (Panini Books)
ISBN: 978-1-84653-531-4

The British love comic strips and they love celebrity and they love “Odd Characters.”

The history of our graphic narrative has a peculiarly disproportionate amount of radio comedians, stars of theatre, film and TV such as Charlie Chaplin, Arthur Askey, Winifred Atwell, Max Bygraves, Charlie Drake and their ilk, as well as actual shows and properties such as Whacko!, ITMA, Our Gang, (there was a British version of the Hal Roach film sensation by Dudley Watkins in Dandy as well as the American comicbook series by Walt Kelly), Old Mother Riley, Supercar, Pinky & Perky and literally hundreds more.

Anthology comics such as Radio Fun, Film Fun, TV Fun, Look-In, TV Tornado, TV Comic and Countdown amongst others translated our viewing and listening favourites into pictorial escapism every week, and it was a pretty poor lead or show which couldn’t parley the day job into a licensed comic property.

Television’s Doctor Who premiered with part one of ‘An Unearthly Child’ on November 23rd 1963, and the following year his (their?) decades-long association with TV Comic began in issue #674 and the first instalment of ‘The Klepton Parasites’ – so this year marks the 50th or Golden Anniversary of the evergreen show and the 49th (Apoplexium, I believe) of the strip iteration.

On 11th October 1979 (although, adhering to the US off-sale cover-dating system, it says 17th) Marvel’s UK subsidiary launched Doctor Who Weekly, which became a monthly magazine in September 1980 (#44) and has been with us through various title-changes ever since. All of which only goes to prove that the Time Lord is a comic hero with an impressive pedigree and big shoes to fill.

Marvel/Panini is in the ongoing process of collecting every strip from the prodigious annals and archives in a uniform series of over-sized graphic albums, each concentrating on a particular incarnation of the deathless wanderer. This particular one gathers stories from a range of sources (specifically Doctor Who Magazine #152-156, 159-162, The Incredible Hulk Presents #1-12, Doctor Who Weekly #17-20, #27-30 and Doctor Who Monthly #44-46; spanning 1980-1990) and nominally stars the Seventh Doctor -Sylvester McCoy.

Also on show are some awesome ancillary stars from the monolithic Time Lord Universe (Whoniverse?) including the eponymous trundling terrors of the title, legendary cosmic crusaders the Star Tigers and the long-revered tragic, demented antihero Abslom Daak, Dalek-Killer.

Delivered beauty-contest style in reverse order, the magnificent magic opens with the cataclysmic ‘Nemesis of the Daleks’ (from DWM #152-155) as Richard and Steve Alan – AKA Richard Starkings & John Tomlinson – deliver a definitive and classic clash between the nomadic Time Lord and the ultimate foes of life wherein the deadly Daleks enslave a primitive civilisation and drive the pitiful native Helkans to the brink of extinction by forcing them to construct a Dalek Death Wheel armed with the universe’s most potent and toxic Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Grittily illustrated by Lee Sullivan, the blockbuster saga opens with the valiant last stand of incongruous chmpions the Star Tigers before the peripatetic Doctor accidentally arrives in the right place at the wrong time – no surprise there then – and joins death-obsessed Abslom Daak in a hopeless attempt to stop the Emperor of the Daleks from achieving supreme power…

Filled with evocative do-or-die heroics this is a battle only one being can survive…

As a complete change-of-pace, ‘Stairway to Heaven’ (#156 from January 1990 and by John Freeman, Paul Cornell & Gerry Dolan) offers a wry and merrily murderous poke at modern art and the slavish gullibility of its patrons that still holds true today – and probably always will…

The Incredible Hulk Presents was a short-lived reprint weekly from Marvel UK which launched on September 30th 1989, targeting younger readers and featuring four media-fed features.

As well as the Big Green TV sensation it also reprinted American-produced stories of Indiana Jones and GI Joe/Action Force, but the mix was augmented by all-new adventures of the Gallant Gallifreyan by a rapidly rotating roster of British creators.

The plan was to eventually reprint the Who stories in DWM – thus maximising the costly outlay of new material at a time in British comics publishing where every penny counted. It didn’t quite go to plan and the comic folded after 12 issues, with only a couple of the far simpler – though no less enjoyable offerings – ever making it into the more mature magazine publication.

It all began with ‘Once in a Lifetime’ by Freeman & Geoff Senior wherein an obnoxious alien reporter learned to his dismay that some stories are too big even for the gutter press, after which issues #2-3 featured creators Dan Abnett & John Ridgway whose ‘Hunger From the Ends of Time!’ saw the Doctor and Foreign Hazard Duty – the future iteration of UNIT – save the Universal Library from creatures who literally consumed knowledge.

‘War World!’ by Freeman, Art Wetherell & Dave Harwood found the irascible time-traveller uncharacteristically fooled by an (un)common foot soldier, whilst in ‘Technical Hitch’ by Abnett & Wetherell, the Doctor saved a lonely spacer from unhappy dreams of paradise…

Freeman & Senior concocted a riotous, monster-mash for ‘A Switch in Time!’ whilst ‘The Sentinel!’ by Tomlinson & Andy Wildman found the Time Lord helpless before a being beyond the limits of temporal physics who claimed to have created all life in the universe but still needed a little something from Gallifrey to finish his latest project…

Another 2-parter in #8-9 declared ‘Who’s That Girl!’ as the Doctor’s latest regeneration apparently resulted in a female form just as the Time Lord was required to  stop an inter-dimensional war between malicious macho martial empires. Of course there was more than met the eye going in this silly but engaging thriller by Simon Furman, John Marshall & Stephen Baskerville.

Simon Jowett & Wildman produced a light-hearted salutary fable as ‘The Enlightenment of Ly-Chee the Wise’ proved that some travellers are too much for even the most mellow of meditators to handle, after which Mike Collins, Tim Robins & Senior proved just how dangerous fat-farms could be in ‘Slimmer!’ before The Incredible Hulk Presents ended its foray into time-warping with the portentous ‘Nineveh!’ by Tomlinson & Cam Smith, wherein the Tardis was ensnared in the deadly clutches of the Watcher at the End of Time – an impossible mythical being who harvested Time Lords after their final regeneration…

For most of its run and in all its guises the Doctor Who title suffered from criminally low budgets and restricted access to concepts, images and character-likenesses from the show (many actors, quite rightfully owning their faces, wanted to be paid if they appeared in print…) but diligent work by successive editors gradually bore fruit and every so often fans got a real treat…

‘Train-Flight’ by Andrew Donkin, Graham S. Brand & John Ridgway ran in DWM #159-161 from April to June 1990 and benefited from some slick editorial wheeler-dealing and the generosity of actress Elizabeth Sladen (who allowed her Sarah Jane Smith character to be used for a pittance) in a chilling tale of alien abductions.

A long overdue reunion between the Time Lord and his old Companion was swiftly derailed when their commuter train was hijacked by marauding carnivorous insects…

‘Doctor Conkerer!’ (#162 by Ian Rimmer & Mike Collins) then terminates the Time Lord’s travails in this tome with a humorous tale describing the unsuspected origins of that noble game played with horse chestnuts beloved by British schoolboys, assorted aliens and, of course, Vikings of every stripe…

There’s still plenty of high quality action and adventure to enjoy here, however, as the complete saga of ‘Abslom Daak, Dalek-Killer’ by Steve Moore and artists Steve Dillon& David Lloyd (from Doctor Who Weekly #17-20, February-March 1980, Doctor Who Weekly #27-30, April 1980 and Doctor Who Monthly #44-46, December 1980-February 1981) fills in the blanks on the doomed defenders of organic life everywhere…

In the 26th century the Earth Empire is in a death struggle with voracious Dalek forces yet still riven with home-grown threats.

One such is inveterate, antisocial killer Abslom Daak, who, on sentencing for his many crimes, chooses “Exile D-K” – being beamed into enemy territory to die as a “Dalek Killer”. His life expectancy as such is less than three hours… and that suits him just fine.

Materialising on an alien world the madman eagerly expects to die but finds an unexpected reason to live until she too is taken from him, leaving only an unquenchable thirst for Dalek destruction…

The initial ferociously action-packed back-up series led to a sequel and ‘Star Tigers’ found the manic marauder winning such improbable allies as a rebel Draconian Prince, a devilish Ice Warrior and the smartest sociopath in Human space, all willing to trade their pointless lives to kill Daleks…

As always the book is supplemented with lots of text features, and truly avid fans can also enjoy a treasure-trove of background information in the 17-page text Commentary section at the back, comprising story-by-story background, history and insights from the authors and illustrators, supplemented by scads of sketches, script pages, roughs, designs, production art covers and photos.

This includes full background from former DWM editor/scripter John Freeman on the stories, plus background on the guest stars in ‘Tales from the Daak Side’ by John Tomlinson.

More details and creator-biographies accompany the commentaries on The Incredible Hulk Presents tales and there’s a feature on ‘Hulk meets Who’ explaining that odd publishing alliance, as well as reminisces from editor Andy Seddon and even more info on the legendary Dalek killer and his Star Tiger allies to pore and exult over.

None of which is relevant if all you want is a darn good read. However all the creators involved have managed the ultimate task of any artisan – to produce engaging, thrilling, fun work which can be equally enjoyed by the merest beginner and the most slavishly dedicated and opinionated fans imaginable.

This is another marvellous book for casual readers, a fine shelf-addition for dedicated fans of the show and a perfect opportunity to cross-promote our particular art-form to anyone minded to give comics one more go…

All Doctor Who material © BBCtv. Doctor Who, the Tardis and all logos are trademarks of the British Broadcasting Corporation and are used under licence. Licenced by BBC Worldwide. Tardis image © BBC 1963. Daleks © Terry Nation. All commentaries © 2013 their respective authors. Published 2013 by Panini Publishing, Ltd. All rights reserved.

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Clubbing


By Andi Watson & Josh Howard (Minx/Titan Books edition)
ISBN: 978-1-84576-580-4

In 2007 DC comics had a worthy go at building new markets by creating the Minx imprint: dedicated to producing comics material for the teen/young adult audience – especially the ever-elusive girl readership – that had embraced translated manga material, momentous global comics successes such as Maus and Persepolis and those abundant and prolific fantasy serials which produced such pop phenomena as Roswell High, Twilight and even Harry Potter.

Sadly after only a dozen immensely impressive and decidedly different graphic novels Minx shut up shop in October 2008, markedly NOT citing publishing partner Random House’s failure to get the books onto the appropriate shelves of major bookstore chains as the reason.

Nevertheless the books which were published are still out there and most of them are well worth tracking down – either in the US originals or the British editions published by Titan Books.

One of the most engaging was Clubbing, from Andi Watson & Josh Howard, which stylishly and wittily blended teen rebellion and shopping-culture insouciance with murder-mystery and supernatural horror in an audacious and winning black and white, cross-cultural romantic romp in Wordsworth Country…

Charlotte Brook has been a bad girl. London’s most self-absorbed fashionista, social butterfly and shopping diva, “Lottie” got caught using a homemade fake I.D. to get into an out-of-bounds West End nightclub and ended up coming home in a police car…

Her outraged but rather disinterested parents simply bundled her off for the summer to the wilds of the Lake District where her dull grandfather and good old Grandma Aggie are going to put her to work in their new Golf resort.

Faced with the dire prospect of months of rain, no Wi-Fi coverage, Golf, Women’s Institute do’s, old people, hicks and yokels, golf and mud and golf, Lottie is far from happy, but as always Aggie’s ubiquitous cakes and cuppas go some small way towards assuaging the agony.

Granddad Archie Fitz-Talbot‘s time is constantly taken up with the on-going and behind schedule conversion of his posh old country club into a major modern sport and leisure venue and, after only one wind-blown, rain-sodden tour in the most fabulous outfit from her stylishly inappropriate wardrobe, Lottie realises that she’s actually in hell.

Her poor beloved shoes are all doomed too…

The local teens are a dire lot, rough, rude and pretentious; more interested in gore, blood and faux Satanism rather than music and fashion – like any self-respecting Goth should be – and as for the nice young man Aggie is trying to set her up with, Lottie wouldn’t be seen dead with a guy who loves fishing and golf no matter how good looking he is…

Howard is the least of her problems. In their affable, comfortable way, Archie and Aggie are determined to torture her to death: they feed her wholesome stodgy food, drag her all over the place on walks and trips through the beautiful countryside, take her to W.I. galas and, horror of horrors, ask her to work in the gift-shop with ghastly golf pro Tom Hutchinson – at least until she accidentally burns it down…

Things get decidedly strange after Lottie clashes with officious wizened-ancient employee Mrs. Geraldine Gibbons over towels in the gym, and again at a W.I. cake-baking contest. The old biddy has a real bee in her bonnet and babbles on about secrets and hidden truths and is clearly bingo-wing bonkers…

Lottie begins to suspect otherwise when she and the slowly growing in coolness Howard find the old bat’s strangely mutilated body in a water-hazard on the Links…

Some of those sinister secrets start to emerge when the shaken teen then discovers old Archie is a bit of a player – Urgh! wrinklies indulging in illicit lurrve – and might need to get rid of the occasional octogenarian bit of rough, but something just doesn’t add up and before long Lottie and Howard are grudgingly, disbelievingly swept into a bizarre and baffling mystery with demonic cults, a horrific monster menace from beyond Reality and staggering personal implications for Lottie and her entire family…

Clubbing is a sharp, witty, subtly funny and intriguing coming of age horror-thriller-comedy which follows all the rules of the teen romance genre yet manages to inject a huge helping of novelty and individual character into the mix: a perfect vehicle for attracting to our medium new and youthful readers with no abiding interest in outlandish power-fantasies or vicarious vengeance-gratification – and yes, that does mean girls…

This snazzy so-British reading rave also includes ‘Lottie’s Lexicon’: a cool guide to speaking young Londoner, full creator biographies and three tantalising preview segments from other tempting MINX titles.

Track them all down and enjoy a genuinely different kind of comic book…
© 2007 Andi Watson and DC Comics. All rights reserved.

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The Perils of Pushing 40


By Colin Whittock (Century Hutchinson)
ISBN: 0-7126-1290-4

It’s been a while since I’ve taken a fond look at a resolutely British cartoon compendium and indulged in a few sound and certain smirks and chuckles. This time it’s a little known collection of cartoons about the inexorable passage of time from one of our best yet criminally under-celebrated gagsters.

Of course it’s really just another excuse to bemoan the loss of those once-ubiquitous cheap ‘n’ cheerful gag-filled paperbacks which are now all-but-forgotten fossils of a once mighty industry; fast fading as the much more important-sounding Graphic Novels and Trade Collections carve a niche in our psyches and on our bookshelves.

Me, I’m still convinced that there’s a place on those shelves for some new collections of our magnificent history of graphic giggles and cartoon chortles…

…And, having again glanced at the wasteland that is daytime TV, I’m firmly of the opinion that Parliament should mandate that all new homes have at least one bookshelf built in…

None of which matters a jot or tittle as I call to your attention to a particularly fine example of a lost Artform: themed gag-books which sadly were the last commercial gasp in a tradition of pictorial entertainments that began with Punch and evolved into a saucy standby of British life for nearly a century before fading away, to only haunt bargain bins, Jumble Sales and junk shops…

Colin Whittock was born in Birmingham in 1940 and, after the traditional period of vocational wandering in the wilderness in which he worked as a shopfitter, eventually took up his brushes, pens and pencils to work as a freelance cartoonist.

In 1969 he became Editorial Cartoonist on the Birmingham Evening Mail – a position I suspect he still holds – and also worked as Sports cartoonist for the Sunday Mercury. In his spare time he produced the full-colour feature strip Kev, freelanced for Punch and Private Eye, as well as The Daily Mirror, The Sun, Daily Sketch, Tit-Bits, Weekend, Reveille and The Oldie whilst pursuing a healthy and respectable sideline in advertising, with commissions from greetings card companies, TNT, British Telecom, Jaguar and Powergen amongst others.

British readers of a certain vintage would recognises the art if not the name, as Whittock also worked for years on Buster, Whizzer & Chips, The Beano and other humour weeklies.

He succeeded Leo Baxendale on Champ, and also drew Catnap, Lazy Bones, Clever Dick & Mizz Marble amongst others. The comics work dried up in 1989 as our industry contracted to near death and he again concentrated on gag panels, although he soon began producing scripts for BBC Radio’s venerable News Huddlines and continued his series of Perils of… books such as this one.

Way back when in 1986, he was at his wry, dry best when sharply observing the pitfalls and pratfalls of the big Four Oh!, remarking with assured style on the absurdity of waning life and drained vitality…

The linked cartoons are clustered into successively trenchant chapters beginning with ‘Fit at 40’, rancorously discussing medical screening, doctors in general and particular, exercise and dieting before moving on to the reason for all that torment in ‘Sex’…

Bitter comparisons abound in ‘The Younger Generation’ and ‘Pet Pals’ describes our often double-sided relationship with things hairy, tooth-filled, unpredictable and expensive before men and women of that uncertain age are shown bearing up under the pressure of ‘The Social Whirl’ and making the unwelcome effort to ‘Dress for Success’…

There’s always the imminent threat of more leisure time, successfully countered by ‘The Sporting Hero’ and the glaring giveaway of outdated taste is tackled in ‘The Music of Time’. At least holidays are a safe subject, as (not) seen in ‘Away From it All’, but never forget that such jaunts can have unexpected repercussions such as ‘Late Arrivals’…

Even if an “Autumn” baby does occur though at least that’s a reason to keep ‘On the Job’ but those work woes won’t assuage the concerns of the world-weary middle-aged in ‘The Future’…

British cartooning has been magnificently served over the centuries by masters of form, line, wash and most importantly smart ideas, repeatedly poking our funny bones, pricking our pomposities, stroking our happy places and feeding our fascinations, and this sort of thing used to be bread ‘n’ butter in our game. We’re all going to really miss them if they disappear forever, so why not get a bookshelf if you don’t have one yet and start filling it with magical material like this…
© 1986 Colin Whittock. All Rights Reserved.

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Batman: Knight and Squire

Batman - Knight and Squire
By Paul Cornell & Jimmy Broxton with Staz Johnson (DC Comics)
ISBN: 978-1-4012-3071-5

British Dynamic Duo Knight and Squire first appeared in the cheerfully anodyne, all-ages 1950s – specifically in a throwaway story from Batman #62 (December 1950/January 1951) – as ‘The Batman of England!’

Earl Percy Sheldrake and his son Cyril returned a few years later as part of seminal assemblage ‘The Batmen of All Nations!’ (Detective Comics #215 January 1955) – a tale retrieved from the ranks of funnybook limbo in recent times and included in Batman: Black Casebook – with sequel ‘The Club of Heroes’ appearing in World’s Finest Comics #89, July-August 1957. That one’s reprinted in Showcase Presents World’s Finest volume 1.

The characters had languished in virtual obscurity for decades before fully entering modern continuity as part of Grant Morrison’s build-up to the Death of Batman and Batman Incorporated retro-fittings of the ever-ongoing legend of the Dark Knight dynasty…

They floated around the brave New World for awhile with guest shots in places like Morrison’s JLA reboot and Battle For the Cowl before finally getting their own 6-issue miniseries (December 2010 – May 2011), courtesy of scripter Paul Cornell and artist Jimmy Broxton (with some layout assistance from Staz Johnson), who rather bit the hand that fed them by producing a far from serious, but captivating quirky and quintessentially English frolicsome fantasy masterpiece.

It all begins, as most things boldly British do, down the pub. However The Time in a Bottle is no ordinary boozer but in fact the favourite hostelry for the United Kingdom’s entire superhuman community: the worthy and the wicked…

Hero and villain alike can kick back here, taking a load off and enjoying a mellow moment’s peace thanks to a pre-agreed truce on utterly neutral ground, all mystically enforced by magics and wards dating back to the time of Merlin…

As the half-dozen chapters of ‘For Six’ open it’s the regular first Thursday of the month – and that’s an in-joke for Britain’s comics creator community – with the inn abuzz with costumed crusaders and crazies, all determined to have a good time.

Cyril Sheldrake, current Earl of Wordenshire and second hero to wear the helm and mantle of The Knight, sends his trusty sidekick Beryl Hutchinson – AKA The Squire – to head off a potential problem as established exotics Salt of the Earth, The Milkman, Coalface, The Professional Scotsman and the Black and White Minstrels all tease nervous newcomer The Shrike.

He’d do it himself but he’s chatting with Jarvis Poker, the British Joker…

The place is packed tonight in honour of visiting yank celebrity Wildcat, and a host of strange, outrageous and even deadly patrons all bustle about as Beryl chats to the formerly cocky kid who’s also getting a bit of grief because he hasn’t quite decided if he’s a hero or villain yet…

She’s giving him a potted history of the place when the customary bar fight breaks out but things take an unconventionally dark turn and an actual attempted murder occurs. It would appear that two of these new gritty modern heroes have conspired to circumvent Merlin’s pacifying protections…

Each original issue was supplemented with a hilarious text page which here act as chapter breaks, so after ‘What You Missed If You’re A Non-Brit’ (a glossary of national terms, traits, terminology and concepts adorned with delightful faux small ads), the tale continues as Beryl and Cyril spend a little down-time in rural Wordenshire where the local civilians tackle the insidious threat of The Organ Grinder and his Monkey so as not to bother the off-duty Defenders.

However the pair do rouse themselves to scotch the far more sinister schemes of inter-dimensional invader Major Morris and the deadly Morris Men…

That’s supplemented by the far-from-serious text feature ‘What Morris Men are Like’…

The saga then kicks into high gear with the third instalment as Britain’s Council for Organised Research announces its latest breakthrough.

C.O.R.’s obsessively romantic Yorkist Professor Merryweather had no idea that her DNA reclamation project would lead to a constitutional crisis after she reconstituted Richard III, but it seems history and Shakespeare hadn’t slandered the Plantagenet at all. The wicked monarch was soon fomenting rebellion, using his benefactor’s technology to resurrect equally troublesome tyrants Edward I, Charles I, William II and the ever-appalling King John and even giving them very modern superpowers…

Of course Knight, Squire and her now besotted not-boyfriend Shrike were at the vanguard of the British (heroic) Legion mustered to fight for Queen and Country and repel the concerted criminal uprising…

Following a history lesson on ‘Cabbages and Kings’, Beryl invited the Shrike back to the Castle for tea, teasing and some secret origins, but things went typically wrong when Cyril’s high tech armour rebelled, going rogue and attacking them all.

The text piece deals with ‘Butlers and Batmen’ before it all goes very dark when lovable celebrity rogue Jarvis Poker gets some very bad news from his doctor and a terrifying follow-up visit from the real Joker.

The CampCriminal was desperately concerned about his national legacy but GothamCity’s Harlequin of Hate is just keen on increasing his ghastly and frankly already astronomical body-count. First on the list is that annoying Shrike kid, but the American psycho-killer has big, bold, bizarre plans to make the UK a completely good guy-free zone…

Broken up with a two-part ‘The Knight and Squire Character List’, it all culminates and climaxes with a spectacular and breathtaking showdown after the malevolent Mountebank of Mirth goes on a horrendously imaginative hero-killing spree that decimates the Costumed Champions of Albion: a campaign so shocking that even Britain’s bad-guys end up helping to catch the crazed culprit…

Rewarding us all for putting up with decades of “Gor, blimey guv’nor” nonsense in American comics whilst simultaneously paying the Yanks back for all those badly researched foggy, cobbled-rooftops-of-London five minutes from Stonehenge stories which littered every aspect of our image in the USA, this witty, self-deprecating, action-packed and deucedly dashing outing perfectly encapsulates all the truly daft things we noble Scions of Empire Commonwealth love and cherish about ourselves.

Stuffed with surreal, outrageous humour, double entendres, quirky characters, catchphrases and the comedy accents beloved by us Brits – Oh, I say, Innit Blud? – and rife with astonishingly cheeky pokes at our frankly indefensible cultural quirks and foibles, this is the perfect book for anyone who loves grand adventure in the inimitable manner of Benny Hill, Monty Python and the Beano.

Also included are covers and variants from Yanick Paquette & Michel Lacombe and Billy Tucci & HiFi, plus a wealth of working art, character designs and sketches by Jimmy Broxton and an unpublished spoof cover in tribute to the immortal Jarvis Poker…

Buy this book. It’s really rather good. Oh, go on, do: you know you want to…
© 2011, DC Comics. All Rights Reserved.

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Hellraisers – a Graphic Biography


By Robert Sellers & JAKe (SelfMadeHero)
ISBN: 978-1-906838-36-2

I’m a sucker for comics biographies, and when I saw this superbly engaging and imaginative one on the shelves of my local library I just couldn’t resist a peek…

Robert Sellers is a former stand-up comedian and current film journalist with prose biographies of Sting, Tom Cruise, Sean Connery and the Monty Python phenomenon to his name, as well a regular contributor to periodicals and magazines such as The Independent, Empire, Total Film, SFX and Cinema Retro. He has also been seen on TV.

In 2009 he published a magnificent history of brilliance and excess in his “Life and Inebriated Times of Burton, Harris, O’Toole and Reed” in 2011 in collaboration with prestigious illustrator, designer and animator JAKe (How to Speak Wookiee, cartoon series Geekboy, Mighty Book of Boosh, The Prodigy’s Fat of the Land and so much more, both singly and with the studio Detonator which he co-founded). The artist keeps himself to himself and lets his superb artistry do all the talking.

Self-adapted from his prose history of the iconic barnstorming British film and theatre legends Richard Burton, Richard Harris, Oliver Reed and Peter O’Toole, Sellers here transformed Hellraisers into a pictorial feast, featuring the unique lives of a quartet of new wave, working class thespian heroes – more famed for boozing and brawling than acting – into a masterful parable and celebration of the vital, vibrant creative force of rebellion, interpreted with savage, witty style in ferociously addictive and expressive monochrome cartoon and caricature by the enigmatic artist.

Working on the principle that a Hellraiser is “a person who causes trouble by violent, drunken or outrageous behaviour” and cloaked in the guise of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, the salutary fable opens as another drunken reprobate is thrown out of another pub. It’s Christmas Eve at the Rose & Crown of Broken Dreams and Martin should be home with his wife and son.

After again disgracing himself the pathetic drunk staggers back, shaking with DT’s and unexpunged rage to his loving but scared family, only to pass out. He is awoken by his hellraising father who drank and smoked himself to death seven years ago…

Told that he has one last chance to save himself, Martin is warned that he will be visited by four spirits (no, not that sort) who will regale him with the stories of their lives and fates and failures and triumphs …

What follows is a beguiling journey of bitter self-discovery as Burton, Harris, Reed and O’Toole (still alive but part of the visitation of “spooky buggers” since it’s just a matter of time, my dear boy) recount their own sodden histories, experiences and considerations in an attempt to turn the neophyte around.

They’re certainly not that repentant, however, and even proud of the excesses and sheer exuberant manly mythology they’ve made of their lives…

Managing the masterful magic trick of perfectly capturing the sheer charismatic force and personality of these giants of their craft and willing accomplices in their own downfalls, this superb saga even ends on an upbeat note, but only after cataloguing the incredible achievements, starry careers, broken relationships, impossibly impressive and frequently hilarious exploits of debauchery, intoxication and affray perpetrated singly and in unison by the departed, unquiet soused souls…

Filled with the legendary exploits and barroom legends of four astoundingly gifted men who couldn’t stop breaking rules and hearts (especially their own), blessed or cursed with infinitely unquenchable thirsts for the hard stuff and appetites for self-destruction, this intoxicating and so very tasty tome venerates the myths these unforgettable icons promulgated and built around themselves, but never descends into pious recrimination or laudatory gratification.

It’s just how they were…

Sellers has the gift of forensic language and perfectly reproduces the voices and idiom of each star even as JAKe perfectly blends shocking historical reportage with evocative surreal metafiction in this wonderful example of the power of sequential narrative.

Clever, witty and unmissable.
© 2010 Robert Sellers and JAKe. All rights reserved.

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The Joy of Headaches – How to Survive the Sexual Revolution


By Martin Honeysett (Century Publishing)
ISBN 10: 0-7126-0491-X,      ISBN 13: 978-0712604918

I’ve got a dose of the post-Christmas glums today so it’s probably time to roll out another cartoon compendium and indulge in a bit of safe smirks. This time it’s a little known collection of cartoons about British bedtime habits from one of our best modern gagsters.

Of course it’s really just another excuse to bemoan the loss of those once-ubiquitous cheap ‘n’ cheerful gag-filled paperbacks which are now all-but-forgotten fossils of a once mighty industry; fast fading as the much more important sounding Graphic Novels and Trade Collections carve a niche in our psyches and on our bookshelves.

…And, having glanced at daytime TV over the break, I’ve since firmly fixated on another frightening thought – how many modern homes even have bookshelves any more?

None of which matters a jot or tittle as I call to your attention to a particularly fine example of a lost Artform: themed gag-books which sadly became the last commercial gasp in a tradition of pictorial entertainments that began with Punch and evolved into a saucy standby of British life for nearly a century before fading away, to only haunt bargain bins, Jumble sales and junk shops…

Martin Honeysett was born in Hereford in 1943 and, after the traditional wandering about not knowing what to do with himself, at the end of the 1960s became an animator, illustrator, award-winning cartoonist, painter and educator whose prolific works regularly appeared in the aforementioned Punch, as well as Daily Mirror, Private Eye, Radio Times, The Oldie, The Spectator, Evening Standard, Sunday Telegraph and Observer amongst others. He was a visiting professor at theKyotoSeikaUniversity, Faculty of Art,Japan, from 2005 to 2007.

These days he’s probably best known for magnificently illustrating books for children and adults, such as Bert Feggs Nasty Book, scripted by Terry Jones & Michael Palin, The Queen and I by Sue Townsend, Dick King-Smith’s H. Prince and Ivor Cutler’s mesmeric poetry books Gruts, Fremsley and  Life in a Scotch Sitting Room.

Way back when in 1984, he was an edgy, wryly sharp observer and commentator upon the absurdity of contemporary life, and this collection is a grippingly intriguing discourse on our nasty monkey mating habits and social gaffe-ability, stitched together with a running theme of how the more things change the more they stay the tedious same…

Warning: this hilarious treatise contains lots of wickedly naked people making a mess, frightening the horses, scandalising the neighbours, boring the kids and generally being rudely funny…

Beginning with a trenchant examination of with-it parents in a “permissive society”, what kids already know, lots of spoofs on the peccadilloes of the aristocracy, love amongst the Poor, a history of sex – especially the Swinging Sixties -, social nudity, commercial innovations and the latest technical improvements, before the emphasis easily shifts to niche areas of the intercoursing game.

There are examinations into School Sex Education, fidelity, promiscuity, international mores and incongruities, the mania for manuals and furtive practising leading to a thorough exploration of personal relationships, exploding long-held myths and getting to grips with that contentious size issue…

Much mention is made of medical matters, physical functions, foreign imports and tactics, the nature of consent and the roles of School, Church and State concerning private Citizens’ and citizen’s Privates…

With telling observations on birth control, marital norms, porn, assorted forms of human neutering, infections and disease control, the nuanced differences between “kinky” and “perverted” – as well as taboo, illegal and just plain wrong – addressed, readers will soon be assured that they too can do it right, do it often and do it well into old age.

…Even if the range and choice of partner(s) might cause a few sharp intakes of breath.

Rest assured, however, that there’s still room for old-fashioned Romance.

Sort of.

Dedicated to the certain premise that (other) people having sex is simultaneously better than yours but still truly hilarious, this snappy little monochrome tome is a cut above much of the era’s rather tawdry treatment of the subject, superbly rendered and still marvellously entertaining even in these liberally licentious times – and for a change, this one is still readily available from a range of internet retailers…

British cartooning has been magnificently served over the centuries by masters of form, line, wash and most importantly smart ideas, repeatedly poking our funny bones, pricking our pomposities, stroking our happy places and feeding our fascinations, and this sort of thing used to be bread ‘n’ butter in our game. We’re all going to really miss them if they disappear forever, so why not get a bookshelf if you don’t have one yet and start filling it with magical material like this…
© 1984 Martin Honeysett. All Rights Reserved.

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Fantastic Annuals 1968, 1969, 1970


By various (Odhams)
No ISBNs

Fantastic was the flagship of the “Power Comics” sub-brand used by Odhams to differentiate those periodicals which contained reprinted American superhero material from the company’s regular blend of sports, war, western and adventure comics. During the mid-1960s these captivating ubiquitous British weeklies did much to popularise the budding Marvel characters and universe in this country. With its sister paper Terrific the comic was notable for not reformatting or resizing the original artwork. In Wham!, Pow! and Smash! an entire 24 page adventure could be squeezed into 10 or 11 pages over two weeks…

However, although the all-action comic featured Thor, Iron Man and the X-Men in chronological tales (with a few gags and a UK generated adventure feature), the annuals were a far more exotic and intriguing mixed bag…

The 1968 book – released in December 1967 – opens with the full-colour Thor thriller ‘When Magneto Strikes!’ (by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby & Chic Stone from Journey into Mystery #109, October 1964) recounting a blistering battle beneath the sea between the Thunder God and mutant master of Magnetism before plunging on after with the home-produced fantasy adventure ‘The Temple of Zentaca’ wherein a two explorer pals, their dog and a handy super-rifle foil a plot by a manic mad scientist in a cunning, anonymous yarn probably illustrated by the great Luis Bermejo Rojo.

After a rather bland and uncredited science fiction prose vignette ‘The Fugitives’ the Annual lapses into traditional two tone mode (red and black) and offers a Marvel monster yarn ‘The Man Who Hated Monstro!’ (from Journey into Mystery #92, May 1963 by Stan Lee, Larry Lieber & Paul Reinman) before launching into the bombastic ‘Beware of the Blob!’ (X-Men #3 1963, Lee, Kirby & Reinman) wherein the mutant teens tackle an immovable human mountain and his evil carnival, followed by a magical Stan Lee/Steve Ditko sci fi yarn ‘I Used to be… Human!’ …also taken from JiM #92.

‘Colossus!’ is another British weird mystery saga illustrated by European master José Ortiz Moya, with a young man obtaining ultimate vengeance for the murder of his father by animating a giant stone statue…

Full colour is restored for the prose short ‘The Invaders’ and the book closes with the captivating Lee/Robert Bernstein/Kirby classic ‘Iron Man vs Doctor Strange!’ (or ‘The Stronghold of Doctor Strange!’ as it originally was: a mad scientist who paved the way for the later Master of the Mystic Arts and whose one-and-only appearance was in Tales of Suspense #41, May 1963).

This fabulous collection blew me away Christmas morning and still makes my weary pulse race today…

© 1967 Odhams Books Limited. Selected material © Marvel Comics Group (1963) 1967.

One year later the magic resumed with Fantastic Annual 1969, which began with a beautiful double-page painted frontispiece featuring the entire heroic pantheon contained therein before the X-Men battled artificially enhanced giant insects in ‘The Plague of the Locust!’ (from X-Men #24, September 1966, by Roy Thomas, Werner Roth & Dick Ayers) after which ‘Miniman the Incredible Crusader’ debuted in a spectacular clash with insane roboticist Dr. Tome; another uncredited fantasy thriller illustrated by a tantalisingly familiar artist tragically unknown to me…

With talk of moonshots in the air the ‘Conquest of Space’ was an inevitable but endearing text feature, followed by the red and black section which kicked off with folksy fantasy masterpiece ‘Humans Keep Out!’ (Journey into Mystery #86, November 1962) by Stan Lee and the marvellous Don Heck, who also illustrated the untitled Iron Man thriller which followed, pitting the Armoured Avenger against the wicked Count Nefaria and invaders from the Moon.

(For your peace of mind the story was originally entitled ‘If a Man be Mad!’, scripted by Al Hartley and inked by Mike Esposito from Tales of Suspense #68, August 1965).

After another ‘Conquest of Space’ page ‘All About Iron Man’ reprinted a selection of fact pages and pin-ups disclosing the technical secrets of old Shellhead, whilst ‘The Mighty Thor Battles the Incredible Hulk!’ (Lee, Kirby & Chic Stone from Journey into Mystery #112, January 1965) gave us one of the very best frantic fight-fests in Marvel’s entire history before Lee & Ditko leavened the mood with a classy time travel thriller ‘Prophet of Doom!’ (from Tales of Suspense #40, April 1963) whilst Lee & Sol Brodsky shone light on the incredible unknown with ‘Mr. Flubb’s Torch’ (originally the more euphonius “Flashlight” in the October 1963 ToS #46)…

After one final ‘Conquest of Space’ full colour was restablished and this year’s model concluded with a magnificent adventure of home-grown superman Johnny Future who travelled to the end of the universe to defeat the invincible Disastro in a stunning tale probably scripted by Alf Wallace and illustrated by the inimitable Luis Bermejo.

© 1968 Odhams Books Limited. Selected material © Marvel Comics Group (1963) 1968.

 

Fantastic Annual 1970 saw the end of the era. Interest in superheroes and fantasy in general were on the wane and British weeklies were gradually switching back to war and sports stories. This was one of the last Odhams Christmas compendiums to feature imported Marvel material: from then on the Americans would handle their own Seasonal books rather than franchise out their classics to mingle with the Empire’s motley, anarchic rabble.

The frantic fun started in full colour with the contents of X-Men #40, January 1968, by Roy Thomas, Don Heck & Dick Ayers, wherein the merry mutants tracked down an alien robot Frankenstein in ‘The Mark of the Monster!’ after which the switch to red and black synchronised with ‘The Fantastic Origin of Doctor Doom!’ – a genuine Marvel Masterwork by Stan Lee, Jack Kirby & Chic Stone from Fantastic Four Annual #2, September 1964, which revealed the pride and folly which shaped one of the greatest villains in comics.

‘The Haunted House!’ (or ‘I Speak of the Haunted House’ from Tales of Suspense #42, June 1963) is a splendid example of Lee and Ditko at their light-hearted best, whilst Thor displayed his warrior acumen battling ‘The Evil of Loki!’ in a severely edited, almost truncated reprint of ‘The Day Loki Stole Thor’s Magic Hammer!’ (Lee, Robert Bernstein & Joe Sinnott from Journey into Mystery #92, May 1963). At least it was in full colour, as was the group pin-up page featuring the Thunder God, the X-Men and Iron Man traced off by a Power Comics art junior – possible Steve Parkhouse or Barry (Windsor) Smith – after which the two colour printing returns as the Armoured Avenger is ‘Suspected of Murder!’

The supposed victim was, of course, his own alter-ego Tony Stark in this tense, guest-star studded yarn by Lee, Heck & Dick Ayers (from Tales of Suspense #60, December 1964) after which ‘The March of the Steelmen’ offered another excellent but uncredited science fiction thriller, pitting a brace of upstanding British researchers against an uncanny invasion of unstoppable metallic warriors from a sub-atomic world…

The final tale, in full colour, introduces another indomitable domestic hero as ‘Matt Marvel – Lawman of the Future’ pitted all his incredible resources against maddest of scientists Doctor Merlin in a mind-boggling battle of wits and wiles with the world at stake…

These stunningly more-ish collections are mostly tasty treats for we backward-looking baby-boomers, but even though the Marvel material has been reprinted ad infinitum, there’s still a wealth of excellent and intriguing home-made heroic action going begging here, and it’s long past due for some enterprising publisher to gather all that quirky British invention into a modern compendium of weird warriors and wonders.

Anybody here tempted by a new/old UK Action Force…?
© 1969 Hamlyn Publishing Group Limited. Selected material © Marvel Comics Group (1963, 1964) 1969.

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Merry Christmas, Boys and Girls

Since the Mayans miscalculated and we’re all (most?) still here, I’ve gotten all extra-nostalgic and doubled my pleasure by indulging in not just one but two days of British Annual excellence…

Today’s Cool Yule Drool comprises a trio of my most often enjoyed festive frolics and tomorrow we’re doing it again with even more passion but just a little less imaginatively.

Have a Very Merry Day and always keep reading new things…

Robin Annual Number 1

By various, edited by Marcus Morris (Hulton Press)
No ISBN:

There’s not a lot around these days in our field which both caters specifically for little kids and simultaneously introduces them to the ineluctably tactile wonders and sensorium of a high quality comics anthology experience, but once upon a time there was a whole subdivision of the business dedicated to enthralling and enchanting our youngest and, hopefully, brightest…

Robin was created in the hugely successful wake of Marcus Morris and Frank Hampson’s iconic Eagle, catering to the pre-school market the way Swift targeted 6-10 year olds and Girl concentrated on potential young ladies (that looks far creepier in print than I’d intended…). The periodical ran from March 28th 1953 to 25th January 1969, a startling 836 joy-stuffed issues.

Offering a range of beautiful genteel, diffidently Christiano-centric stories, strips and puzzles for parents to read with and to their toddlers, Robin sported the same supremely high production values as all the Hulton Press titles. It was edited by Morris until 1962 when Clifford Makins took over, shepherding the title until its absorption into Odhams/Fleetway comic Playhour, just as the collapse of theUK comics industry was beginning…

There were at least nine Christmas Annuals – such as this first one from 1953 – which combined stunning, lavishly illustrated colour strips and features with solid, memorably stylish and glossy monochrome pages for an 80 page compendium of enticing wonderment between sturdily thick and reassuring red cardboard covers.

Again like its older brothers and sister, Robin included a selection of licensed characters well known to the new but ever-growing television audience…

This particular British Festive icon opens with double-page front and end-pieces by Reg Forster, depicting railway station scenes to colour in and a beautiful painted dedication to the young Princess Anne and Prince Charles, after which the prose tale of ‘Johnny and Mr Spink’ related the tale of a boy given a pony for his birthday.

The first comic strip is in colour. ‘The Amazing Adventure of Percy and the Cricket Ball’ featured anthropomorphic animals and a young man who turned sporting disaster to his advantage, followed by an illustrated poem ‘Things to Do’ and ‘The Story of Woppit’, a monochrome strip featuring an infamous teddy-bear in the snow with bunnies.

More shrew than bear, Mr. Woppit was merchandised as a toy and one was adopted as a lucky mascot by notoriously superstitious sportsman and speed enthusiast Donald Campbell. It was with him when Campbell died piloting the hydroplane Bluebird K7 on Coniston Water in 1967, and found amidst the floating wreckage.Campbell’s remains weren’t recovered until 2001.

A Play Page of puzzles is followed by the first TV star as ‘Andy Pandy’ played garden pranks on Teddy after which ‘The Old Woman and the Mouse’ offered a delightfully salutary prose fable illustrated by the incredibly talented David Walsh and then ‘The Twins Simon and Sally’ got into a mess feeding the chickens in their first strip saga.

‘Princess Tai-Lu’ was a magical Siamese cat and in her initial strip here celebrates Christmas with a few furry feline friends in her own unique manner, whilst the illustrated poem ‘Little Grey Stone’ by Margaret Milnes is a visual feast of tone-&-wash mastery and colour comic ‘Tom the Tractor’ related the heroic rescue of a climbing lamb and piglet by a handy animated farm vehicle,

‘Scruffy the Scarecrow’ was almost junked by the farmer until some friendly Magpies saved his job in a rather moving text tale, but ‘The Proud Mouse’ was the architect of her own downfall in a delightfully executed strip by an uncredited hand.

‘Richard Lion’ (and his animal chums Henry the kangaroo, Pug the bulldog, Peggy the black panther, Nemo the jester and others) seems like a rather excellent knock-off of Bestall’s Rupert Bear by the brilliant Maria Jocz, but it still offers wonder and joy aplenty in a two-chapter, vividly coloured strip which finds the cubs being harassed by and then saving some irascible Snow Gnomes. Next comes the second of the BBC’s Watch With Mother properties as Bill and Ben ‘The Flower-Pot Men’ saved a tortoise from his own exuberant folly in a captivating black and white strip.

A black Scottie dog narrates ‘The Sad Story of McTavish’ (by Norman Satchell) whilst ‘Charlie and the Cake’ takes only three panels to explain the folly of stealing confectionery from the larder…

The snow-bound adventures of Rufus, Rodney Rita and little brother “Fums” resulted in a new family pet thanks to the intervention of ‘The Magic Wellingtons’ in a beguiling colour strip, whilst, following a Bo Peep maze-page, ‘The Twins Simon and Sally’ return no wiser than before as their attempts to bath both a dog and cat at the same time goes spectacularly awry…

‘Midge the Motor Car’ was a living autonomous little auto and his trip to the local Fair resulted in initially chaos but eventually a dramatic and heroic rescue in a lovely monochrome strip from Catherine Hammond and an uncredited scripter, after which ‘The Shepherd Boy’ retold the story of David and Goliath in a stylish full colour comics version, and short story ‘The Runaway Bus’ – illustrated by Forster – detailed how a London Passenger Service Vehicle took itself off to the seaside for the day…

The poem ‘Eider Downy House’ (Gay Wood) is followed by the sublime black and white nature strip ‘The Dormouse at Christmas’ and a full colour rebus double spread of the alphabet before the prose tale of ‘Ku Mu and the Crocodile’ (written and illustrated by Dorothy Craigie) told a gentle tale of West Africa and the strip ‘Bingo, Bango and Bongo’ by Jenetta Vise demonstrated to three monkeys that performing in a circus was far more fun than merely spectating…

A ‘Mrs Bunny Maze Puzzle’ precedes the all-colour adventures of talking calf ‘Johnny Bull’ on land, sea and in the air, after which the superbly limned prose story ‘The Excited Red Balloon’ shows the sheer class of illustrator Eileen Bradpiece, before Technicolor tiny titan ‘Andy Pandy’ performed a prankish encore at a tea-party for Teddy and ‘Tina, Tim and the Magic Helicopter’ undertook an astounding prose voyage to the Wild West…

Patricia Hubbard drew an amazing strip adventure of the dolls in ‘Toyville’ and, following the conclusion of Richard Lion‘s excursion to the cave of the Snow Gnomes and another rebus page entitled ‘Can You Read this Letter?’, ‘The Flower-Pot Men’ accidentally built themselves a splendid flying sailboat.

The rather trenchant warnings in the tale of ‘Canty Kitten’ are balanced by a practical feature on ‘How to Draw a Toy Engine’, after which David Walsh displays his dexterity with both monochrome and full colour scenes for the ode to ‘Skating on a Pond’ and the enigmatic Kearon (perhaps Robot Archie artist Ted Kearon?) exhibits great virtuosity in relating the strip saga of ‘Philip’s Circus’…

The indefatigable Walsh then lent his deft pen and brush to the alarmist but happily ended text tale of ‘The Squirrel Who Forgot’ and sublime ‘Princess Tai-Lu’ returned to save her human companion’s hat in another lovely monochrome strip.

‘Billyphant’s Birthday’ provided a menagerie of pets for the lonely little pachyderm and that motivated Motor Car returned in ‘Midge at the Zoo’, handling runaway rhinos and adoring peacocks alike, before another Play Page segued into a black and white bible strip detailing what happened when ‘Jesus gets lost’ and all the seasonal magic ended with the prose saga of runaway pigs ‘Quibble and Quarrel’.

Unlike most periodicals of the time, this annual actually lists all the creative contributors involved – although not which pieces they worked on – so those I’ve been unable to identify I’ve name-checked here: writers Leila Berg, Maria Bird, John Byrne, Nancy Catford, Dennis Duckworth, Jessica Dunning, Rosemary Garland, James Hemming, Maureen Hillyer, Winifred Holmes, Ursula John, Rosemary Sisson, John Taylor, Billy Thatcher, & Shelagh Fraser whilst artists unattributed include Anthony Beaurepaire, Nancy Catford, Harry Hants, Irene Hawkins, Elizabeth Hobson, Stewart Irwin, Faith Jacques, Janet & Anne Graham Johnstone, Mary McGowan, Constance Marshall, Michael K. Noble, Walter Pannett, Prudence Seward, A.E. Speer, Astrid Walford & Andrew Wilson.

Relatively cheap and still quite available, books like this were and should remain an integral part of our communal history, always astoundingly high in quality and absolutely absorbing. Whimsical, comforting and supremely entertaining, this is a package with a host of child-friendly tales that have tragically missed becoming nursery classics simply because they appeared in a disposable comic rather than permanent kid’s novel, and it’s long past time publishers re-examined this wealth of forgotten material with a view to creating new masterpieces for library shelves and wholesome all-ages TV animation projects…

No copyright notice so I’m guessing most of the originally created intellectually properties material now resides as part of IPC or Egmont. If you know better I’ll be happy to have this entry amended.

Superadventure Annual 1967

By various (Atlas Publishing & Distribution)
No ISBN

Whereas the 1962 edition – the first Christmas Annual I can remember getting – was a stunning shock to my British-born, Polish/German reared, pre-school senses, by the advent of the 1967 Superadventure Annual (December 25th 1966 at about 11 minutes past 4 in the morning), I was a far more sophisticated but no less excitable consumer.

I had since learned in those short intervening years quite a bit about Superman, Jimmy Olsen, Aquaman, Green Arrow, Flash, Tommy Tomorrow and all the rest through the sleek American import comics that my Dad faithfully brought home every Friday after work, teaching me – and himself – English (admittedly American-seasoned) by poring through them together over weekends filled with sugary snacks and in-between huge, rustic, home-grown and Mum-cooked meals.

That early indoctrination and fascination remains strong – for the comics at least. I’m far too old and debilitated for sugar, starch, caffeine and artificial additives now…

This was one of the last licensed UK DC collections before the Batman TV show turned the entire planet Camp-Crazed and Batmanic, and therefore offered a delightfully eclectic mix of material far more in keeping with traditionally perceived British boy’s interests than the masked suited and booted madness that was soon to follow in the Caped Crusader’s scalloped wake. Of course this collection was still produced in the cheap and quirky mix of black and white, dual-hued and full colour pages which made those Christmas books such a bizarrely beloved treat.

The action opens with a classically lovely yarn starring the Fastest Man Alive, printed in black and red.

The first story is reprinted from The Flash #119 (March 1961), crafted by John Broome, Carmine Infantino & Murphy Anderson, and related how the lethal Looking Glass Bandit used his incredible technology to turn our hero into a living genie before attempting to murder him with ‘The Mirror Master’s Magic Bullet’ after which space cop Tommy Tomorrow tackled – in plain old monochrome – ‘The Planeteer’s Alien Allies’.

The strip was a hugely long-running back-up strip which moved from Real Fact Comics, to Action Comics and Worlds Finest Comics before fading from sight and memory. This particular tale of sneaky conniving ETs only pretending to be Earth’s friends comes from WF #122, December 1961, courtesy of scripter Jack Miller and versatile illustrator Murphy Anderson. Ubiquitous gag cartoonist Henry Boltinoff produced hundreds of funny pages and characters over the years, and a great selection are sprinkled through this book, beginning with a crafty ‘Casey the Cop’ howler…

World’s Finest Comics #125 from May 1962 provided the Green Arrow thriller ‘The Man Who Defied Death’ (by Ed “France” Herron and Lee Elias); a bold and grittily terse mini-epic and taut human drama about a desperate daredevil willing to do absolutely anything to earn the cash for his son’s medical bills, followed by a Boltinoff ‘Moolah the Mystic’ rib-tickler and the start of the full (but exceedingly odd) colour section.

Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #60 (April 1962) provided the astonishing story of ‘Super-Mite’ as author Leo Dorfman & artist Al Plastino had the exuberant cub reporter explore the mystery of a little action figure given by the Man of Steel to an ailing boy which inexplicably became as smart and powerful as any full-sized Kryptonian! This is followed by a Boltinoff gag starring ‘Peter Puptent, Explorer’ and a chiller featuring Aquaman and Aqualad battling ‘The Curse of the Sea Hermit’.

First seen in Detective Comics #295, September 1961 by George Kashdan & Nick Cardy, this spooky sea tale seemingly pitted the heroes against ancient evil but there was ultra-modern piratical plundering behind this scheme…

Back in black and white, ‘The Trickster Strikes Back’ (Flash #121, June 1961) saw the rapacious return of an air-walking bandit with murderous intent, outmanoeuvred by the Vizier of Velocity in a stunning yarn from Broome, Infantino and Joe Giella whilst, after another Peter Puptent page, Tommy Tomorrow undertook a desperate ‘Journey to 1966’ (originally entitled ‘Journey to 1960’, by Miller & Jim Mooney, when it first appeared in WF #113, November 1960) to capture a would-be world-conqueror with the inadvertent aid of the Planeteer’s own grandfather, after which the grand Costumed Dramas end in fine style with ‘The League of Fantastic Supermen’ (by Jerry Siegel, Curt Swan & George Klein from Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen #63, September 1962) in which a quartet of Kryptonian outlaws and the double-dealing Legion of Super-Villains are all outwitted by the plucky junior journalist.

Maybe I’m blinded by nostalgia-coloured goggles, but it seems admirably astounding to me that the all-ages stories featured here are so perfectly constructed that whether an innocent(ish) tubby toddler or the sullen, embittered old coot I became, these tales continue to beguile, bemuse and satisfy in a way that no food, drink or drug could. This is another book that will always say “Merry Christmas” to me.

…And hopefully to you, too…

© 1966 National Periodical Publications, Inc.,New York. Published and distributed jointly by Atlas Publishing and Thorpe & Porter, Ltd., by arrangement with The K.G. Murray Publishing Company Pty. Ltd., Sydney.

Beano Book 1972

By various (DC Thomson & Co., Ltd.)
Retroactively awarded ISBN: 978-0-85116-038-2

For many British – and indeed Commonwealth – fans, Christmas can only mean The Beano Book (although Scots worldwide and of every nationality have a pretty fair claim that the season belongs exclusively to them via the traditional, annually-alternating collections of The Broons and Oor Wullie which make every December 25th mirthfully magical), so I’ve yet again highlighted another of the venerable and beloved tomes as particularly representative of the Season of Joy.

In those days these annuals were produced in the wonderful “half-colour” British publishers used to keep costs down. This was done by printing sections or “Signatures” of the books with only two plates, such as Cyan (Blue) and Magenta (Red): The sheer versatility and colour range this provided was astounding. Even now this technique inescapably screams “Holidayextras” for me and my contemporaries.

As is always the tragic case, my knowledge of the creators involved is criminally sub-par but I’ll hazard the usual wild guesses in the hope that someone with better knowledge will correct me when I err and embarrassingly get it wrong again…

This boisterously compelling chronicle opens with a double-page splash of The Bash Street Kids (by David Sutherland) breaking the fourth wall and playing mischievous hob with the book’s two-colour formatting, after which The Three Bears by Bob McGrath and the exceedingly domestic Biffo the Bear (Sutherland again) officially welcome us to the festivities.

Leading off this year’s anarchic antics is a splendid school Panto skit starring Minnie the Minx courtesy of Jim Petrie, after which the iconoclastic Dennis the Menace and Gnasher make their first appearance adding their own unique tinge of terror to a school play thanks to prolific diversity of style chameleon David Sutherland.

“Fastest boy on Earth” Billy Whizz (by Malcolm Judge) then experiences painful feedback from a rashly hurled boomerang and his Antipodean counterpart, before the re-assembled Bash Street Kids helpfully assist Teacher get over his over-sleeping problem with the expected catastrophic results in a dedicated and extended niche chapter interwoven with the eccentric and imaginative ‘Bash Street Motor Cartie Show’.

Biffo and human pal Buster go shopping for new furniture next – in an eye-popping blue and yellow segment – after which Roger the Dodger is again outwitted by his dad and Lord Snooty learns the error of his selfish, posh-boy ways in a brace of gloriously funny strips from Robert Nixon, whilst Ronald Spencer’s painfully un-PC but exceedingly hilarious Little Plum follows with the rambunctious redskin falling foul of a bolshie buffalo before Billy Whizz rockets back with a tricky ‘Whizz Quiz’ to test our wits and reactions.

In a previous annual the Bash Street Kids found themselves the reluctant owners of an accident-prone elephant, and she riotously returns here in an extended episode of Pups Parade starring the Bash Street Dogs (and Ethel Hump) by the marvellous Gordon Bell. Stuck with the excitable, ponderous pachyderm by the awesome and omnipotent Beano Editor, the mangy mutts soon handed her off to their arch-foes The Bash Street Cats but it took the canny connivings of ‘The Nibblers’ (drawn by either John Sherwood or Ron Spencer?) to finally quell Ethel’s destructively effusive spirits…

At this time The Beano still had the odd adventure strip and perhaps the greatest of these was local boy superhero Billy the Cat. Here in an expansive section of his own, the plucky acrobat chases burglars over rooftops, crushes bullies, catches car thieves and almost mucks up a fire drill in a rollicking rollercoaster of blistering action by Sandy Calder – and there’s also a splendid ‘Quick on the Draw’ feature inviting readers to become artists themselves…

Biffo the Bear then endures an agony of indecision whilst his hirsute and voracious American cousins The Three Bears got a slap-up Christmas feed even after failing again to breach the impregnable local general store of grocer Hank Huckleberry…

The defences of Bunkerton Castle proved too much when Lord Snooty and His Pals tried to bring in a truly tremendous Xmas tree, but Minnie the Minx had far more success in her spring-heeled hi-jinx – until Dad caught her, at least – whilst the ‘Billy Whizz Diary’ proved its worth in mirth before Little Plum and that buffalo had their hands and hooves full trying to wigwam-train Chiefy‘s latest pet – a Smart Alec chimpanzee…

The Nibblers next resumed their war of attrition with malicious moggy Whiskers whilst Roger’s latest Dodges proved ultimately unsuccessful but did prompt him to dream big and explain what would happen ‘If I Were a Rich Boy…’

Another extended journey to Bash Street found the Kids literally sucking up to Teacher after “borrowing” a Corporation Dust Cart and industrial vacuum cleaner, whilst following some enthralling, appalling ‘Party Puzzles’ the ‘Pup Parade’ ended the segment with a dirty scheme to clean up the dog’s communal dustbin home…

Biffo then worked out with the local Fire Brigade and ‘The Three Bears’ had snow fun at all when Hank trapped them with a frigid, foodless maze, after which Minnie found things to amuse herself – but not so many other folks – building snowmen…

The Festive fun then concludes with a thinly veiled but entertaining ad for that year’s Dennis the Menace Annual and a return to the Bash Street Kids’ colour cavortings…

This is another astoundingly compelling edition, and even in the absence of legendary creators such as Dudley Watkins, Leo Baxendale and Ken Reid there’s no discernable decline in the outrageous and infectious insanity. With so much merriment on offer I can’t believe this forty year old book is still sprightlier and more entertaining than most of my surviving friends and relatives. If ever anything needed to be issued as commemorative collections it’s these fabulous DC Thomson annuals…

Divorcing the sheer quality of this brilliant book from nostalgia may be a healthy exercise – perhaps impossible, but I’m perfectly happy to simply wallow in the magical emotions this annual still stirs. It’s a fabulous laugh-and-thrill-packed read from a magical time, and turning those stiffened two-colour pages is always an unmatchable Christmas experience – and still relatively easy to find these days.

© 1971 DC Thomson & Co., Ltd.

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Mac’s Year: 1984 – Cartoons from the Daily Mail


By Mac – Stan McMurtry (Sphere)
ISBN: 978-0-7221-5798-5

“Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner” – James Bovard

If you live long enough you’ll experience the pop culture keystones of every definitive era of your life at least twice more. The base, tasteless and utterly superficial aspects of the 1980s are currently doing the rounds again as the current generation – which was too young to remember them – get all nostalgic for the good bits and blithely ignore all the bad stuff: same as it ever was…

For us Brits it was Union-Bashing, Loads-a-Money, Yobs and Yuppies, poverty, excess, Royal Weddings, daft hair and Thatcher, whilst America endured trickle-down Reaganomics, insider dealing, illicit warfare and poodle rock – so nobody really got off lightly either side of the Pond – and then all the money ran out…

The truly amazing – and most depressing – realisation is that the issues never go away. The names and faces of the political or industrial scoundrels and mountebanks may change, but the mistakes they make and problems they create just keep going, so it’s always a wearisome, disturbing but oddly topical exercise to examine news cartoons this long after the fact and discover how distressingly familiar the hot topics still are. Same as it ever was…

So here’s another little dip into the vast forgotten annals of cartoon comedy generated by Britain’s greatest natural resource (and still un-privatised so it belongs to us all for the moment) – Clever Folks What Make Us Laugh…

Oftentimes our industry is cruel and unjust and frequently prone to guilt by association. This collection of cartoons is by Stan McMurtry – perhaps unfairly attributed a cartoon champion of the Populist Right – who, as “Mac”, has worked for nearly 40 years as social and political cartoonist for The Daily Mail.

Cartooning is a hard, demanding, mercurial job and a regular gig is every brush-monkey’s dream. Although it’s fair to say that most artists who settle in one place have an affinity for a periodical’s positions, stance and core politics, there will always be friction between creative expression and the Editor’s own inclinations and prudence…

The precociously artistic Mac was born inEdinburghin 1936 but raised inBirminghamfrom 1944. His father, a travelling salesman, never supported his son’s dreams of a career in art, but Stan persevered, attending Birmingham College of Art from 1950-1953, after which his 2-year National Service saw him serve in the Royal Army Ordnance Corps until 1956.

On demobilisation he entered the animation industry (at Henley-On-Thames), producing short films for the newly-launched commercial broadcast company ITV. Two of his efforts were prize winners at Cannes. Like so many other artists he also began contributing to the huge and broad cartoon market, selling his first job to Today in 1961. He became a full-time freelancer in 1965, drawing comics strips for a number of Odhams/IPC kids’ periodicals such as Wham! and Buster whilst selling gag panels to Punch, The London Evening News and others.

When Norman Mansbridge retired in 1968, Mac was offered his spot as topical cartoonist on the Daily Sketch, a centrist paper whose politics the artist generally agreed with.

In 1971 the paper was absorbed by the Daily Mail, a broadsheet which was repositioning itself as a tabloid. The once-posh paper had for years favoured the use of two staff cartoonists but was letting the revered Wally “Trog” Fawkes go (to The Observer). Offered the vacant chair, Mac alternated with the venerable John Musgrave-Wood – who signed his beautiful but so savage visual blasts against the Left “Emmwood” – until the senior partner retired in 1976.

From then, although other cartoonists appeared, the paper was Mac’s playground. Despite Editor David English constantly urging McMurtry to be “more politically minded”, Mac felt happiest employing sarcasm and gentle mockery, regarding his job as making “the dreary news-copy of the daily paper brighter by putting in a laugh”.

Mac has always been adamant that he was more a social than political animal. Even whilst spending decades turning last night’s newsflash into this morning’s mirth, McMurtry has always pursued other lucrative creative pursuits: working in advertising, straight illustration and greetings card design. In 1977 he wrote and drew children’s book The Bungee Venture and negotiated it into a Hanna-Barbera animated feature. With writing partner Bernard Cookson he also wrote TV scripts for comedians Tommy Cooper and Dave Allen. He was awarded an MBE in 2003 and remains at large and comically active to this day…

Artists like Mac who were commenting on contemporary events are poorly served by posterity. This particular volume (re-presenting a selection of single panel-gags from August 9th 1983 to June 8th of the politically and culturally front-loaded year 1984), like all of these books, was packaged and released for that year’s Christmas market, with the topics still fresh in people’s minds.

Decades later the drawing is still superb and, despite perhaps the wry minutiae escaping a few, the trenchant wit, dry jabs and outraged passion which informed these visual ripostes are still powerfully effective. And obviously human nature never changes and there’s nothing new under the sun…

Many of the blasts in this book deal unkindly – but rather hilariously, I’m forced to admit – with the fallout from the Greenham Common protest (and I’m speaking as someone who lost his then-girlfriend to that clarion call to arms, and marvels that today’s Occupy movement is so marvellously Co-Ed), underage sex and contraception, industrial turmoil and business closures, Health scandals and the NHS under attack whilst the Police themselves were increasingly Under The Cosh: same as it ever was…

There’re also episodes of Royal embarrassment and unwise escapades caught on film, doping and gender testing at major sporting events, the outrages of racist football thugs and players, vacillating doctors’ advice on booze and smokes, turmoil as opposition leaders were judged inadequate and heartfelt tributes to entertainment giants who had passed away…

Then as now, the overwhelming rain and horrendous climate often seized our attention, as did Irish Republican killers, the threat of Iran, illegal American wars, Arab Oil, celebrity love cheats, Airline blues, tacky TV Magicians, Judges with no grasp of modern life, holiday horrors, Parliamentary scandals (sex and money) and mouthy maverick cricketers causing trouble, all while the battle for equal pay for women was raging…

We kept annoying the French, there were Olympic surprises, welcome pops at privileged Toffs and posh-boys, wry Anniversary celebrations of WWII, the Scots were revolting, we all thought the Chancellor was inept or crooked, there were Papal gaffes and the Press was obsessed with Princesses…

My absolute favourite gag is a panel from February 23rd 1984 in which an ambitious couple behind a tree aim a little tot at the pram carrying the baby William Windsor and urged her to ‘Think of your career, kid – just saunter up to the Prince William and say “Hello gorgeous’”…

Thankfully some progress has occurred. Less perennial topics included pops at the PM’s idiot children (give it time), the prejudices shown to returned and wounded servicemen, body-issues and diet Nazis, arrogant and paranoid Yankee Presidents, insane African dictators, out of control school kids and… Hey, wait a minute…

Despite being often and usually unfairly targeted by factions of the Left and Right – and even accused of racism on one occasion – Mac is one of most celebrated and lauded cartoonists in British history: his energy, creativity, perspicacity and grasp of the public mood generating thousands of unforgettable gags and acres of brilliant cartoons.

His comical commentaries, produced on a punishing daily deadline, were appreciated if not feared by Peers and plebs alike and were all created with a degree of craft and diligence second to none. Even now, decades later, they are still shining examples of wit and talent… and still bitingly funny too.

It’s a terrible shame that the vast body of graphic excellence which topical cartoonists produce has such a tenuous shelf-life. Perhaps some forward-looking educational institution with a mind to beefing up the modern history or social studies curricula might like to step in and take charge of the tragically untapped and superbly polished catalogue of all our yesterdays.

Clearly they’re all short of a bob or two these days and I’m pretty sure these cartoon gems could find a willing market eager to invest in a few good laughs, or even market them as social history books that students might actually enjoy absorbing. Same as it never was…

© 1984 Stan McMurtry. All rights reserved.