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Thor the Mighty Avenger volume 1: the God Who Fell to Earth


By Roger Langridge, Chris Samnee & Matthew Wilson with Stan Lee, Jack Kirby, Larry Leiber, Joe Sinnott & Dick Ayers (Marvel)
ISBN: 978-0-7851-4121-1

For many older fans – and of course I mean me too – Thor was the comic that truly demonstrated the fevered and unfettered imagination of Jack Kirby – at least until he relocated to DC at the beginning of the 1970s and really let rip. Living galaxies, the conquest of Evolution: gods, heroes and aliens, machines with emotions and humans without, the strengths and liabilities of family ties and the inevitability of creation itself, all played out on the pages of the Thunder God’s action-packed comic-books.

Once the King left, the series struggled for decades, with only the Kirby-inspired pastiche by Walt Simonson in the mid-1980s offering any kind of quality continuation of action and imagination, although more recent years have certainly seen a few bold attempts to plough their own creative furrow.

In 2010, no doubt on the back of the major motion picture release, Marvel commissioned a superb new interpretation of the iconic but periodically unsustainable star and his convoluted mythos from the irrepressibly wonderful New Zealand writer/artist Roger Langridge (Judge Dredd Megazine, Batman, Star Wars, Fin Fang Four, The Muppet Show, Popeye and Snarked! as well as his own hilarious Fred the Clown and my personal favourite Knuckles the Malevolent Nun amongst so many others) and artist Chris Samnee (Mighty Avengers, Rocketeer, Daredevil etc.) which stripped away most of the baffling accumulated overblown ephemera and created a fresh vibrant new start – which only coincidentally, I’m sure – initially resembled that filmic feel…

The saga unfolds in stormy Bergen, Oklahomawhen junior curator Jane Foster sees a twisted rainbow one night and a week later is suddenly promoted to head a department of the Bergen War Memorial Museum. Almost immediately she’s called on by Security to deal with a giant hobo trying to whack one of the exhibits with a gnarled old walking stick…

That night whilst strolling with her boyfriend Jim she encounters the young – and exceedingly well-mannered – bum again, hurtling through a bar window very much against his will…

The cause is a monstrous, hulking brute who had been harassing women in the hostelry, but even after Jane joins the fray the ugly thug easily overpowers them and beats the chivalrous vagabond near to death before inexplicably running away…

Battered and grateful, Jane and Jim ignore their better judgement and help the dying blonde wanderer – who calls himself Thor – back to the Museum, where he finally and unexpectedly smashes the Viking urn he’d attacked earlier. Grasping a short-handled hammer the shabby lad is miraculously transformed in a flash of lightning and blast of thunder…

Jane has witnessed the impossible and has to accept that the amnesiac Thor may well be the legendarily mythic Scandinavian hero. He certainly isn’t sure: although possessed of incredible might, his memories are clouded and he only vaguely recalls a fight with his father Odin before waking up in a field, banished to this mortal realm of Midgard…

With nowhere else to go he accepts Jane’s offer to crash at her apartment even as elsewhere a frantic cloaked figure confronts local scientific sage Dr. Lewis Stephens.

Calvin Zabo is desperate for more of the savant’s transformative crystals and is prepared to kill for them, and once the sociopath has them he swiftly regains his hulking, brutish form and goes hunting for the fools who spoiled his fun in the bar last night…

This series is simply stuffed with hilarious lines and comedy set-pieces and, following a delicious moment when the Thunder God encounters his first telephone answering machine, the exiled godling hurtles to the museum to spectacularly save Jane from the malevolent monster who calls himself ‘Hyde’…

A cleverly reformulated Marvel Universe begins to impinge on the series with ‘Here be Giants’ when scientist Henry Pym (and his girlfriend Janet Van Dyne) comes to investigate the murder of his old mentor Dr. Stephens. Thor meanwhile has been plagued with nightmares and wakes to find his brother Loki implanting visions within his tousled head, whilst at the museum Jane’s antics have got her suspended…

As she takes the Thunder God shopping to cheer herself up, Pym, in his dual identities of Ant-Man and Giant-Man, follows a chemical trail from the crime scene and intercepts the bemused boutiquers …and that’s the moment when Loki’s hoodoo in the Thunderer’s head kicks in, causing the stranded Scion of Asgard to see the size-shifting scientist as a dreaded Frost Giant…

Fortunately Pym’s heroism and science proves more than a match for sinister ancient sorcery, else the magnificent concluding adventure of the re-imagined Storm Lord couldn’t happen – and it’s one of the most charming and gently amusing stories in all of Marvel’s seven-plus decades of publishing funnybooks…

Lost and lonely on a weird world of mortals, Thor’s spirits are inestimably raised when three old comrades from Asgard come calling, luring the dispirited Prince on a ‘Boys’ Night Out’…

Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg are valiant and boisterous companions (who know more about Thor’s banishment than they let on) and so whilst Jane wisely decides to go out with her own gal pals, the Asgardians decide to check out the old country – courtesy of a magical flying goat chariot. Unfortunately old maps, fog and intoxication make for missed destinations and stopping in London for directions to Norway, the celestial carousers soon settle in for a night of bevies at a hostelry frequented by uptight and touchy superhero Captain Britain.

Cue ale-fuelled misunderstanding, inevitable punch-up and maudlin vows of eternal friendship…

Collecting issues #1-4 (September-December 2010) of the rebooted series and also offering a host of stunning cover reproductions and variants by Samnee and Kirby, this sparkling tome ends with the first two appearances of the original iteration from Journey into Mystery.

Issue #83 (cover-dated August 1962) featured the tale of crippled American doctor Donald Blake who took a vacation inNorway only to encounter the vanguard of an alien invasion. Fleeing, he was trapped in a cave where he found an old, gnarled walking stick. When in his frustration he smashed the cane into a huge boulder obstructing his escape, his puny frame was transformed into Norse God of Thunder, the Mighty Thor!

Plotted by Stan Lee, scripted by Larry Lieber and illustrated by Kirby & Joe Sinnott (at this juncture a full illustrator, Sinnott became Kirby’s primary inker for his Marvel work) ‘The Stone Men of Saturn’ is pure early Marvel: bombastic, fast-paced, gloriously illogical and captivatingly action-packed. The hugely under-appreciated Art Simek was the letterer and logo designer.

They were making it up as they went along – not in itself a bad thing – and the infectious enthusiasm showed in the next adventure ‘The Mighty Thor Vs. the Executioner’ from JiM #84 and inked by Dick Ayers: a classic “commie-busting” tale, very much of its time with a thinly disguised Fidel Castro wasting his formidable armies in battle against the earthbound immortal in a tale designed to display the vast power and varied abilities of the godly superman.

Most importantly Jane Foster was introduced here as Blake’s faithful nurse, a bland cipher adored from afar by the timid alter-ego of mighty hero.

Early death is a comic book tradition that strikes many brilliant series later deemed brilliant, groundbreaking or ahead of their time: past casualties have included the Denny O’Neil/Neal Adams Green Lantern/Green Arrow, the first volume of the Silver Surfer, Steve Ditko’s Beware the Creeper and the Ditko/Gil Kane Hawk and the Dove as well as almost all of Kirby’s Fourth World Trilogy. Tragically cancelled after only 8 issues, Thor the Mighty Avenger still stands out as  sublime example of a contemporary revamp done right and will certainly only grow in renown as years go by. Moreover, if you’ve never tried Marvel’s fare or find superhero comics not to your taste this might well be a book to change your mind…
© 1962, 1963, 2010 Marvel Characters, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Exiles – Point of No Return


By Jeff Parker, Salva Espin, Casey Jones & Karl Kesel (Marvel Comics)
ISBN: 978-0-7851-4044-3

If you’re a fan of comics the head-spinning concept of multiple realities is probably one that holds no terrors. Indeed most superhero, fantasy and science fiction series eventually resort to the tried-and-true theme of alternate heroes and villains as it’s a certified, easily fixable way to test out new ideas and character-traits without the danger of having to reboot your star’s entire continuity if the fans hate it.

Marvel came to the concept relatively late. Whilst DC were radically winnowing and rationalising their own multiverse in 1985 with Crisis on Infinite Earths, the House of Ideas was only cautiously expanding its own Alternity.

Although such surrogate Earthers as Thundra, Arkon, Mahkizmo, Gaard and the Squadron Supreme had cropped up in the Fantastic Four and Avengers, the comicbook which truly built on the idea was What If?, an anthological series wherein cosmic voyeur The Watcher offered peeks into a myriad of other worlds where key “real” continuity stories were replayed with vastly different outcomes.

The first volume (48 issues between February 1977 and June 1988) posed such intriguing questions as ‘What If… Loki had Found the Hammer of Thor?’, ‘the Fantastic Four had not gained Their Powers?’ or ‘Spider-Man’s Clone had Lived?’ and when the title relaunched in 1989 for another 115 issues including ‘What If Wolverine was Lord of the Vampires?’ and ‘What if Captain Marvel had not Died?’, the tales were all back-written into an over-arching continuity and began to catalogued as variant but equally viable Earths/universes and alternate timelines.

There have been seven more volumes since and a series of “Alterniverse” tales…

In case you’re wondering, those gritty Ultimate Marvel sagas all occur on Earth-1610, the Age of Apocalypse happened on Earth 295, the Squadron Supreme originally hailed from Earth-712 and the mainstream Marvel tales take place on Earth-616, whilst we readers all dwell on the dull, ordinary Earth-1218…

In 2001 the concept took a big jump and developed its own internal consistency as an amorphous team of mutants and heroes from that multiplicity of universes were brought together by a mysterious “Time-Broker” to correct mistakes and clear blockages in the fabric of the multiverse.

Reality is a plethora of differing dimensions, you see, and if things go awry in one it can have a cumulative and ultimately catastrophic effect on all of them. Led by super-teleporter Blink (who had her own miniseries and starred in the aforementioned X-Men storyline Age of Apocalypse) and guided by the shape-shifting Morph, this constantly fluctuating squad of rejects zapped from dimension to dimension doing the cosmic Dyno-Rod thing for eight years and 119 issues of Exiles and New Exiles before the series was rebooted in 2009.

Scripted by Jeff Parker and illustrated by Salva Espin, the adventure begins with ‘Déjà Vu’ as mysterious manipulators debate whilst scanning the discernible totality of existence looking for suitable members to staff the latest iteration of reality-repairmen. This time they’re concentrating on heroes plucked from the moment of their inevitable deaths – with the intention of causing as little disruption as possible to the continuum – and select Lorna ‘Polaris’ Dane (Earth-8149, daughter of Magneto and last survivor of a world ruled by mutant-hunting Sentinels) and the bestial Avenger Hank McCoy from 763.

Also included is T’Chaka, heir of the Black Panther and Storm on 1119, mutant tech-smith Forge from 2814 and Wanda Maximoff, The (non-Scarlet) Witch of 8823 and another daughter of a different Magneto…

Snatched from their inescapable dooms, the quintet meet Blink and are briefed by the obnoxiously cavalier Morph on their mission, and are soon reluctantly infiltrating an universe where visionary Charles Xavier was murdered and his best friend Eric Lensherr gathered all the mutants on Earth into a nation united in a cold war against humanity.

There is something decidedly off about the far-from utopian new nation of Genosha. Even as constant attacks by the equally-united Homo Sapiens are getting closer and closer to eradicating the mutants forever, Magneto rules like an emperor, with only his charismatic presence holding the populace together. Moreover whilst former X-Men and Evil Mutants barely tolerate each other, the monarch’s own daughters Wanda and Lorna openly seek to destroy each other…

‘Long Live the King’ (with additional art by Casey Jones & Karl Kesel) sees the Exiles’ attempts to infiltrate and destabilise the court go catastrophically awry, leading to their exposure and capture. Busted loose by reserve and-non-mutant T’Chaka, the Reality Re-aligners uncover the truth about Xavier’s death and are witness to an incipient palace coup, but before they can act upon their dramatic change of fortune the team’s mysterious masters order them to abandon the mission…

Blink’s teleport takes them to Earth-10102, a desert world apparently devoid of life. ‘OK Computer’ (Parker, Casey & Kesel) sees the Exiles attempting to derail and restore a planet where mechanical marvels The Vision, Ultron, Machine Man and Jocasta had joined the X-Men’s now-sentient, mutant-detecting Cerebro super-computer in a plan to eradicate the human genome. However, having already exploded a neutron device which caused humanity to vanish from the Earth, the artificial autocrats seemed in an unassailable position. What could the six sojourners possibly do to rectify this situation?

Possibilities arise after the team easily defeats a squadron of robotic Sentinels and the Ambulatory Automatons personally confront the Exiles. It seems there is a schism between Cerebro and its artificial allies – who are not at all what they seem – and the complacent computer tyrant is quite wrong to assume ‘The Humans are Dead’…

The revival came to an abrupt and rather rushed end with ‘Closure’ as the team, having resoundingly succeeded in putting one Reality back on course, returned to the Genosha state and attempted to complete their aborted first mission.

Even with Magneto gone that universe was still endangered as long as the disparate mutant camps remained allied, but with their own undetectable incarnations of Polaris and the Witch, it was relatively simple to sow dissent and start a filial civil war…

Of course the problem with using perfect doppelgangers is that they can also turn the tables on you…

With the job done – at the cost of only one Exile’s life – the team had earned some shore-leave but the vacation unexpectedly led to betrayal, a revolt within the team and a shocking revelation about the mysterious group who fed them their missions…

And ultimately full disclosure into the very nature of the Exiles existence and the truth about the time, space and the multiverse…

Although intended as an ongoing series, Exiles volume 2 only ran six issues before being summarily cancelled – so swiftly in fact that this enjoyable Fights ‘n’ Tights romp offers a hint at what might have been by including scripts for the aborted issues #7 and 9 as well as the unused script pages for #6, which were replaced at the last moment with a neat and tidy, all-action wrap-up, happy ending and up-beat promise of an eventual return…

Other added-value attractions include lots of preliminary character sketches by Espin, a variant covers gallery by Dave Bullock, Mark Irwin, Anthony Washington, Jason Chan & Mike Grell, as well as Espin’s unused cover, layout and thumbnail artwork intended for #6…

Notwithstanding the hackneyed concept and truncated conclusion, this not such a bad package, but might feel a little rushed in places. Moreover, by relying overmuch on a familiarity with the minutiae of Marvel continuity, this rollercoaster ride might well confuse or deter the casual reader.

Still, if you’re prepared to accept the fact that you won’t get all the gags and references you might enjoy the light tone, sharp dialogue and pretty pictures and, unlike almost all other comicbooks, at least here the dead stay dead.

I think. Perhaps.

Maybe…
© 2009, 2005 Marvel Characters, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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Batman Archives volume 5


By Bob Kane, Alvin Schwartz, Don Cameron, Bill Finger, Dick Sprang, Win Mortimer & various (DC Comics)
ISBN: 1-56389-725-3

Debuting a year after Superman, “The Bat-Man” (and later Robin, the Boy Wonder) cemented National Comics as the market and genre leader of the burgeoning comicbook industry, and the dashing derring-do and strictly human-scaled adventures of the Dynamic Duo rapidly became the swashbuckling benchmark by which all other four-colour crimebusters were judged.

This fifth fantastic deluxe hardback compilation collects the Batman yarns from Detective Comics #103-119 (spanning cover-dates September 1945-December 1947) and safely saw the indefatigable icons delete Nazi spies and saboteurs from their daily itineraries. From this point onward, the stalwarts would again concentrate on home-grown mobsters, monsters, menaces and their ever-active and growing rogues’ gallery of vile villains as the vicissitudes of war were replaced by the never-ending travails of black-hearted crooks and domestic killers…

After a spirited discussion of the days after peace broke out from celebrated bat-scribe Dennis O’Neil in the Foreword, the costumed dramas begin to unfold in #103’s ‘Trouble Incorporated!’ written by Alvin Schwartz and illustrated by Jack Burnley & Charles Paris. Herein a well-meaning retired college Professor set up a free advice service and inadvertently gave the thugs next door a hotline to illicit gain until Batman and Robin offered their own bombastic expertise: also gratis and extremely educational for the eavesdropping creeps…

In Detective #104 Schwartz & Dick Sprang’s ‘The Battle of the Billboards!’ proved a breathtaking and imaginative yarn with blackmail racketeers using prominent signs to publicise the secret crimes and peccadilloes of Gotham’s elite – unless the victims paid off by hiring the signage space themselves.

With no laws broken, the Dynamic Duo were forced to take bold action to end the unique protection scam…

When Bruce Wayne‘s accountant and treasurer embezzled all the company funds in #105 the fallout had appalling consequences for Gotham. ‘The Batman Goes Broke!’ by Don Cameron & the marvellous J. Winslow “Win” Mortimer, saw the heroes reduced to penury and forced to sell their crime-busting possessions and even obtain menial jobs so that they could complete their last case…

Happily the financial absconders were caught – by regular cops – and the Wayne fortunes restored. ‘The Phantom of the Library!’ eerily stalked retired law officials who foolishly visited the city’s repository of knowledge: in search of vengeance on those who had long ago sentenced him to death for murder. Cameron’s run of ingenious crime dramas continued after this spooky mystery by Bob Kane & Ray Burnley, after which a crafty charlatan who preyed on greedy, superstitious businessmen debuted in Detective Comics #107. The wicked Scorpio believed himself above the law and beyond all harm until Batman and Robin invaded his sinister citadel on ‘The Mountain of the Moon!’ – illustrated by Mortimer who had the lion’s share of drawing at this time.

Police officer Ed Gregory was framed by crooks and became ‘The Goat of Gotham City!’ in a moving thriller by limned by Sprang, but as always the Gotham Gangbusters were able to deduce the truth before taking down the villains in a spectacular airplane duel.

A perennial Prince of Plunder returned in #109 as the manic Joker went on a crime spree that lured Dark Knight and Boy Wonder to a deadly purpose-built trap inside ‘The House that Jokes Built!’.

Faithful butler Alfred had a starring role in #110 as ‘Batman and Robin in Scotland Yard!’ found the Masked Manhunters in London to help capture an incredible modern-day Moriarty, after which a trip to ‘Coaltown, U.S.A.’ saw the Caped Crusaders convince a miserly mine owner to listen to his striking workers and modernise the death trap he operated…

Detective #112 riffed delightfully on the classic film The Shop Around the Corner as a small family business was torn apart by the theft of $99. Embroiled in the melodrama was customer Bruce Wayne whose covert investigations uncovered four culprits all eager to confess in Schwartz & Mortimer’s heart-warming tale of ‘The Case Without a Crime!’

Plundering pirates and sinister smugglers were the bad-guys in ‘Crime on the Half-Shell!’ by Bill Finger, Sprang & Gene McDonald, but the story really centred on the tragedy of a blind oyster boat captain and the feisty daughter who took over his “man’s work”, whilst #114 saw the Joker again test Batman’s wits and patience in a sharp puzzler that turned Gotham into the ‘Acrostic of Crime!’ (by Cameron & Mortimer).

‘The Man Who Lived in a Glass House!’ by the same creative team found the Dynamic Duo aiding an inventor against an unscrupulous rival determined to sabotage his life’s work, after which Bruce’s old friend Professor Carter Nichols used his time travelling hypnosis trick to send Wayne and his ward Dick Grayson to Feudal England. Oddly however it was Batman and Robin who came to ‘The Rescue of Robin Hood!’ in a properly swashbuckling romp by Cameron & Mortimer in #116, whilst that writer’s contemporary research made ‘Steeplejack’s Showdown!’ (Kane & Ray Burnley) and the heroes’ campaign against a ring of sky-high bandits a grippingly authentic thriller worthy of Hitchcock…

Issue #118, by Schwartz & Howard Sherman, offered one last hurrah for the Harlequin of Hate as the Joker again attempted to trump the Dark-Knight Detective with The Royal Flush Crimes!’ only to go bust in the wilds of the cowboy West, before this classic collection of seldom-seen tales concludes with Finger, Sprang & McDonald’s gloriously madcap excursion ‘The Case of the Famous Foes!’ wherein a cunning crook recruited George Washington, Benjamin Franklin and Abraham Lincoln to mastermind his crime campaign – straight out of Gotham Sanitarium and into blazing battle against the mystified manhunters…

These evocative, bombastic and action-stuffed yarns provide a perfect snapshot of the Batman’s amazing range from bleak moody avenger to suave swashbuckler, from remorseless Agent of Justice and best pal to sophisticated Devil-May-Care Detective, in timeless tales which have never lost their edge or their power to enthral and enrapture. Moreover, this supremely sturdy Archive Edition is indubitably the most luxurious and satisfying way to enjoy them over and over again.
© 1945-1947, 2001 DC Comics. All Rights Reserved.

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Avengers Academy: Permanent Record


By Christos Gage, Mike McKone, Jorge Molina & various (Marvel)
ISBN: 978-0-7851-4495-3

The psychotic Norman Osborn had obsessively dogged Spider-Man/Peter Parker for years before deliberately repurposing himself and dedicating all his energies to securing overwhelming political power to match his scientifically augmented strength and overwhelming financial clout.

Through various finely calculated machinations the former Green Goblin becameAmerica’s Security Czar: the “top-cop” in sole charge of a beleaguered nation’s defence and freedom, especially in regard to theUSA’s costumed and metahuman community.

Under his draconian tenure the Superhuman Registration Act led to the Civil War, which saw Captain America arrested, murdered and resurrected, and the world’s heroes set at each others throats.

Numerous appalling assaults on mankind occurred on his watch, including the Secret Invasion by shape-shifting Skrull infiltrators and his oppressive response – dubbed Dark Reign – wherein Osborn drove the World’s Mightiest Heroes underground and formed his own team of deadly Dark Avengers.

Not content with commanding all the covert and military resources of the USA, Osborn personally led the team, wearing appropriated Tony Stark technology and calling himself the Iron Patriot, even while conspiring with a coalition of major super-villains to divvy up the world between them.

He finally overreached himself and led an unsanctioned assault on Asgard (see Siege: and Siege: Dark Avengers) and when the fugitive outlawed Avengers at last reunited to stop him, Osborn’s fall from grace and subsequent incarceration led to a new Heroic Age.

In the aftermath it was discovered that the Security Chief’s monstrous manipulations were even more Machiavellian than suspected. One of his most secret initiatives was the kidnapping of super-powered children: tragic innocents he tortured, psychologically abused and experimented upon in a drive to create the next generation of fanatically loyal super-soldiers…

With Osborn incarcerated – if not broken – those traumatised and potentially lethal kids became the responsibility of the exonerated and reassembled Avengers who decided to teach the surviving lab rats how to be heroes…

Avengers Academy: Permanent Record collects material from Enter the Heroic Age one-shot and issues #1-6 (June 2010 -January 2011) of the eponymous comicbook series written by Christos Gage, with each of the tales focussing on one of the dead end kids in particular.

It all begins with a mustering of the students in ‘Admissions’ (illustrated by Mike McKone) as young Humberto Lopez AKA Reptil again attempts to escape from Osborn’s diabolical H.A.M.M.E.R. lab. He gets a lot further than ever before and runs straight into a squad of Avengers in the process of dismantling the scientific house of horrors…

The series proper launched with the tragic tale of geeky High School wallflower Madeline Berry, recruited by an unctuous Osborn in ‘Permanent Record part 1’ with honeyed promises to make her a glamorous hero.

Once she joined however, she was scientifically probed and tortured to improve her innate ability to transform into any number of gases or vapour, but never told that her condition would ultimately lead to her total discorporation and death…

Now safely ensconced in the Avengers Academy, her dream is at last coming true and headmaster Dr. Hank Pym (the size-shifting genius alternatively known as Ant-Man, Goliath, The Wasp, Yellowjacket and Giant-Man) is desperately seeking to cure her ongoing disintegration. As a stopgap, the fading flower has been wrapped in head to toe high-tech bandages and uses the code-name Veil…

All the kids abused by Osborn’s ruthless quest for empowered pawns are similarly damaged and the school has been ostensibly devised to train them as tomorrow’s champions, but core-tutors Pym, Tigra, Justice, Speedball and Quicksilver harbour a secret agenda too…

During a combat training session wherein Speedball puts the entire team through their paces, the physically-perfect Polymath phenomenon Finesse discovers the teachers were not playing straight and later the students hack into the institution’s computers and find the awful truth.

Rather than the most accomplished of Osborn’s protégés, the sextet were actually deemed the most abused and damaged. The school not only wants to turn them into heroes but is also intended to investigate whether the prodigies are incurably corrupted and potential menaces to all mankind…

‘Gifted & Talented’ concludes the first story-arc as robotic sometime Avenger Jocasta joins the faculty and the ultra-accomplished but emotionally stunted Jeanne Foucault claims centre-stage. Finesse has an immeasurable IQ and can instantly duplicate any physical skill or ability she sees, but the arrogance this has caused makes her hard to tolerate. Moreover her innate and ruthless drive to excel and utter lack of empathy makes her potentially the most dangerous kid in the bunch.

Determined to learn everything she can from the Avengers, Finesse convinces the others to play along with the tutors no matter how wild, dangerous or dull the outlandish curriculum becomes and simply bide their time. When Pym suggests that her gifts seem similar to super-villain Taskmaster, she then targets Quicksilver attempting extortion and even seduction in a scheme to glean the terrorist secrets imparted to the former evil mutant by his father Magneto…

The crossover tale ‘Scared Straight’ began in #3 – and although the pertinent segment from Thunderbolts #147 doesn’t make it into this compilation the story doesn’t much suffer from its omission – with part 1 drawn by McKone and inked by Andrew Hennessy, focussing on the embittered walking disaster Hazmat.

Jennifer Takeda was one of the popular girls in school: Honor Roll, track star, lots of credit cards and going with the hottest guy in class – until during their first real make-out session her powers kicked in and she was left with a ‘Boyfriend in a Coma’…

Apparently her body naturally manufactures bio-toxins, chemical poisons, industrial waste and even hard radiation, and when her terrified doctors locked her away in a sterile lab Norman Osborn offered a way out and a cure.

Of course he lied and she too ended up in his technological testing grounds…

Forced to wear a full-body containment suit, the twisted teen became a reluctant student atAvengersAcademy, but when she heard that a school trip was planned to the High-Security super-penitentiary where Osborn was imprisoned, she positively hungered to go.

None of the kids were fooled by the educational visit. It was clearly just a ploy by the adults to show them what happened to bad guys, but Jennie, Mettle and Veil just needed to be alone with their former exploiter for a few brief moments…

Although the most secure and infallible jail on the planet, nobody realised just what Hazmat could really do and when the lights went out she headed straight for Osborn’s cell…

With the adult heroes tackling the power outage and released army of villains, ‘Fix You’ (inked by Rick Ketchum & Cam Smith) revealed the origin of hunky Hawaiian Ken Mack whose idyllic life ended the day his skin fell off and he found he was a scarlet horror of living Iridium metal. With Hazmat and Veil, Mettle broke into his lying tormentor’s cell but like his classmates found himself unable to exact his longed-for pound of flesh.

Not because of any moral reserve, but because Osborn offered them an incredible deal…

‘Fame’ by Jorge Molina & Hennessy, turned to the painfully obnoxious and ambitious Striker, a human electrical dynamo whose celebrity-whore/political groupie mother was determined to mine his gifts the way she had her own with a succession of entrapped men. Brandon Sharpe was doing the minor metahuman showbiz-circuit when Osborn recruited him and needed no compulsion to work with the mad mastermind. All the big bad boss had to do was keep the drugs, girls and money coming…

Now however, there was an inkling of something honest and good in his life, like when he beat the murderous Whirlwind after the crazed psycho jumped the team on a day out inNew York. He felt great then – until he realised his mother had set the thing up to raise her boy’s public profile…

This initial term concludes with Reptil and ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ (McKone, Hennessy, Ketchum, Smith, Dave Meikis & Rebecca Buchman), as the kid who can transform into dinosaurs (parts of them anyway) assesses his progress in the life he always wanted: an incredible girlfriend, life as a superhero and even leader of his own team.

Sadly, he’s also smart enough to see the house of cards it’s all built on and aware that all the lies and hidden agendas – from teachers and students alike – can bring it all down in an instant.

Especially if he chooses the wrong side…

Sharp, clever and witty, this wry yet morally ambiguous series is stuffed with humour, suspense and breathtaking action and offers some smart fresh insights into the lives of teen heroes that will delight fans of the Fights ‘n’ Tights genre. There’s dozens of cool guest stars too…

This collection also includes a superb variant cover gallery by Marko Djurdjevic, J.S, Rossbach & McKone, a Meet the New Class info feature and ‘Head of the Class’: an illustrated interview with scripter Gage.
© 2010, 2011 Marvel Characters, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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DC Universe Online Legends volume 1


By Marv Wolfman, Tony Bedard, Howard Porter, Adriana Melo, Mike S. Miller & various (DC Comics)
ISBN: 978-1-4012-3218-4

No matter how much nostalgic old geezers like me might wish it otherwise, most of the classic American Superhero characters have far outgrown their static 2-Dimensional origins and are far more creatures of the screen now: Movie, TV or Computer – and often all three.

As such it’s no longer odd to see such veteran pen-and-ink superstars return to funnybook pages as their own spun-off avatars, in adventures where they are transformed, sometimes bastardised versions of (to me at least) their “true” selves.

One of the better examples in recent years of this chimerical commercial alchemy was a phenomenal Armageddon Epic based on a computer game starring the Justice League of America which actually surpassed much of the company’s contemporary output vis á vis thrills, chills and old fashioned comicbook class…

DC Universe Online Legends first appeared as a 27-issue series running from March 2011 to May 2012, based on a Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game (or MMORPG for those computerati already in the know). It featured the final triumph of paramount Superman villains Lex Luthor and Brainiac as the starting point for a blistering “Twilight of the Gods” scenario and this first compilation volume gathers #1-7 of the fortnightly series and also includes the “issue #0” which came free with the game itself.

‘Prelude’ by Tony Bedard and artists Oliver Nome, Michael Lopez & Livio Ramondelli, starts the ball of doom rolling as cosmic marauder and collector of civilisations Brainiac launches a harrowing assault on Metropolis, and the JLA – Aquaman, the Martian Manhunter, Wonder Woman, Flash, Green Lantern, Superman and Batman – mobilise to stop him. Unbelievably they fail…

Marv Wolfman, Bedard, Howard Porter, John Livesay, Adriana Melo & Norman Lee then kick things into high gear with ‘Legendary’ as in the near-future Luthor, now more machine than man, finally slays his life-long nemesis in the ruins of a ravaged Earth and leaves the Kryptonian to rot amidst the corpses of his fellow fallen heroes.

The obsessive villain had long ago entered into a devil’s bargain with Brainiac and now intends to rule the remains of Earth, but soon discovers that the Scourge from Space (an implacable, unstoppable planetary plunderer who has destroyed most of the civilised universe and even crushed the immortal Green Lantern Corps) has played him for a fool and now acts to assimilate the planet’s remaining valuable resources – which includes Luthor’s mind – and eradicate the gutted shell…

Realising too late the horrific mistake he’s made, Lex swiftly formulates a plan to undo the damage he’s caused and repay Brainiac for his treachery. The first step is to gather all the surviving metahumans – heroes and villains all oblivious to the fact that Luthor has already slain their greatest champions – into an attack force whilst the infuriated evil genius prepares to unmake recent history…

Meanwhile, several years earlier, a fully human and hero-hating Lex Luthor is contacted by a drone from deep space and enters into a sinister alliance with the alien reiver whose mutual dream is to destroy Superman forever…

Scripted by Bedard, ‘Control’ finds Luthor directing his rag-tag team of deeply suspicious resistance fighters (Dr. Fate, Mr. Freeze, August General in Iron, Solomon Grundy, Power Girl, Cheetah, Blue Beetle, Black Canary and the Atom) in forays against the extraterrestrial Exobyte nanomachines and robot drones disassembling the world, unaware that they were secretly produced in the malign magnate’s factories years before…

In those long-ago days, Brainiac’s probing attack has captured the Daily Planet building in Metropolis. The alien inquisitor apparently needs test samples of base-line humanity to examine before he can calibrate his ghastly devices and begin harvesting Earth’s metahuman resources…

In the furious future the schemer’s pawns continue their missions utterly unaware that, to ultimately save humanity, Luthor plans to sacrifice them all…

Wolfman, Mike S. Miller, Melo & Norman Lee disclose the master manipulator’s ‘Betrayal’ of his team after Power Girl discovers the corpse of her cousin Superman and the resistors demand vengeance. After first setting a horde of bloodthirsty villains upon them, Lex then murderously saves his squad of heroic stooges, pleading repentance and offering to surrender to justice once earth has been saved.

Of course, he’s still lying…

In the present, whilst Lois Lane, Jimmy Olsen and Perry White explore their options as captives of Brainiac, an increasingly unstable and impatient Superman chafes at the JLA’s caution, unaware that the cosmic conqueror is planning an imminent and devastating sneak-attack of the League’s satellite citadel…

Bedard & Porter take the creative lead for the all-action episode ‘Strike Force’ as, in the world of today, the Justice League battle valiantly but futilely against swarms of Exobytes which readily bypass all their defences and begin stealing the powers of the embattled defenders. In the Foredoomed Tomorrow, Luthor leads his duped disciples in a fool’s errand onto Brainiac’s ship, tasked with recovering a city-full of yellow power rings, originally used by the minions of renegade Green Lantern Sinestro, whilst the master manipulator himself plans to confront the invader face-to-face…

Wolfman & Miller produced the shocking ‘Three Minutes’ in which the JLA lose their holding action and have to abandon their orbital Watchtower to the Exobytes – but not every hero escapes – whilst in the future the raid has gone equally badly and one of Luthor’s key pawns is maimed, leading to time-split ‘Downfall’ (Bedard, Porter, Livesay & Pop Mhan) for both teams of champions.

In our time, after warning Luthor to get out of the city, Brainiac casts the Watchtower out of orbit and aims it at what’s left of Metropolis, with the Man of Steel desperately attempting to rescue his stranded comrades and simultaneously save his hometown, whilst in days to come Luthor, Atom and Black Canary split up…

The heroes now carry a canister of retrieved Exobytes holding all the planet’s harvested super-powers – enough to turn all Earth’s survivors into metahuman warriors – but the disgraced Machiavelli who guides them is determined to personally destroy the alien who played him for a fool…

In the past, Superman narrowly saves Metropolis, but fallout and debris from his last-ditch attempt falls on the fleeing Luthor, crushing his body whilst in the future the cyborg genius at last battles Brainiac but is easily and resoundingly beaten…

This first explosive chronicle concludes with the revelation that Luthor has a secret ally as, in the untitled seventh chapter (by Wolfman, Porter & Livesay), a Batman also more mechanoid than mortal manhunter acts with a band of freshly created superheroes to use the Exobytes in a bold and radical manner.

Rather than boost the dying earth’s meagre surviving population with the stolen super-powers, what if the nanobots were taken back in time and used to turn an entire overpopulated earth into a planet of “metas” before Brainiac’s invasion beachhead was established?

Of course even here in Earth’s final hour, Luthor cannot resist betraying his comrades but has again underestimated the sheer dogged determination of the demi-digital Dark Knight…

This high-octane Fights ‘n’ Tights shocker also includes a selection of covers and variants by Carlos D’Anda, Jonny Wrench, Jim Lee, Scott Williams, Alex Sinclair, Ryan Sook, Ed Benes, Randy Mayor, Jorge Gonzalez, Tony Aviña & Carrie Strachan as well as pages of behind-the-scenes character, tech and scenario designs and sketches from the game iteration.

Fast, furious, spectacular and devilishly devious, this is a sharp, no-nonsense graphic Götterdämmerung saga that will delight traditional comicbook action fans as well as all those young plug-in babies of the digital age.
© 2011 DC Comics. All Rights Reserved.

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Cancer Vixen


By Marisa Acocella Marchetto (Fourth Estate)
ISBN: 978-0-00-722163-9

The Comic medium is incredibly powerful: easily able to convey different levels of information and shades of meaning in a highly individualistic and personal manner on any subject imaginable. Although primarily used as a medium of entertainment, the sequential image is also a devastating tool for instruction and revelation as in this superb encapsulation of one woman’s knock-down drag-out tussle with the “Big C”…

Born in1962, Marisa Acocella studied painting at the Pratt Institute and theSchoolofVisual ArtsinNew York Cityand became an Art Director for a major Madison Avenue Ad agency. After a meteoric career in the field she turned to cartooning in 1993.

Acocella concocted the quasi-autobiographical fashion cartoon ‘She’ which debuted in Mirabella Magazine before transferring to Elle in 1996. The feature was collected as Just Who the Hell Is She, Anyway? The Autobiography of She and the character was optioned for a show by HBO television.

The frantic scribbler was subsequently head-hunted by Robert Mankoff, Cartoon Editor for iconic periodical The New Yorker and soon after, with her work regularly appearing in Glamour (where she crafted the series ‘Glamour Girls’), Advertising Age, Talk, Modern Bride and ESPN magazine, she created ‘The Strip’ for the New York Times Sunday Styles section. It was that prestigious paper’s first ever continuing comics feature.

In 2004, three weeks before her marriage to a dashing and highly successful restaurateur, at the top of her game and seemingly with the world at her stylishly shod feet (there’s a great deal of attention paid to women’s shoes here, but at least it’s a hereditary fetish: her simply overwhelming mother Violetta Acocella was a designer for the Delman Shoe Company), Marisa found a lump in her breast…

How the sometimes flighty, occasionally self-absorbed but ultimately tough and determinedly resolute Style-Zombie Fashionista cartoonist took control of her life and her situation to beat cancer makes for an utterly engrossing and ferociously vital read…

Told in overlapping flashbacks Cancer Vixen – because the artist loathed the term “Cancer Victim” – documents her emotional pilgrimage through denial, oppressive terror, turbulent anticipations, financial heebie-jeebies, desperate metaphysical bargaining, exploration of outrageous alternative therapies, grudging acceptance and onerous fight-back through her interactions with friends and family – especially her formidably overbearing ‘(S)Mother’ and man-in-a-billion husband-to-be Silvano Marchetto…

As Marisa reveals the day-by-day, moment-to-moment journey from suspicion to diagnosis, through surgery and the horrifying post-op chemo-therapy with profound passion, daunting honesty and beguiling self-deprecating humour, what strikes me most is the cruelly unnecessary extra anguish caused by a silly mistake which might have cost the artist her life…

Even though thoroughly in-touch, on the go and in command of her life, this modern Ms. had accidentally let her Health Insurance lapse…

Coming from a country where, despite the best efforts of our current government to gut and sell off the National Health Service, nobody has to die from insufficient funds or suffer because of their bank balance, the most gob-smacking strand of this graphic reportage is the cost-counting exercise which periodically totted-up the dollars spent at crucial stages of treatment and the realisation that many of her potential care-givers were actually bidding against each other rather than working together to treat their patients customers…

Thankfully Glamour magazine nobly commissioned Marisa to turn her regular strip into a cartoon account of her illness and recovery (with the Cancer Vixen strip launching as a 6 page strip in the April 2005 issue), whilst bravely marrying Silvano – in defiance of her very real dread that he might be a widower before their first anniversary – at least got Marisa belatedly onto his insurance policy…

As a result of her experiences, Marisa Acocella-Marchetto apportioned a percentage of the book’s profits to The Breast Cancer Research Foundation and to underprivileged women at the St. Vincent’s Hospital Comprehensive Cancer Center inManhattan, where she also recently established The Cancer Vixen Fund, dedicated to help uninsured women get the best breast care available.

Delivered in a chatty, snazzy blend of styles and bright, bold colours, this relentlessly factual – and truly scary because of it – book combines a gripping true story of terror and resilience with a glorious love story and inspiring celebration of family and friendship under the worst of all circumstances.

Whilst not the escapist fantasy fiction which is our medium’s speciality, this human drama and faithfully impassioned but funny memoir – with a happy ending to boot – is the kind of comic which will enthral and elate real-world fans and devotees of the medium; and indeed everyone who reads it.
© 2006 Marisa Acocella Marchetto. All rights reserved.

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Eagle Strike: the Graphic Novel – an Alex Rider Adventure


By Anthony Horowitz, adapted by Antony Johnston, Kanako & Yuzuru (Walker Books)
ISBN: 978-1-4063-1877-7

One of the most thrilling and effective additions to Britain’s literary spies and detectives in recent years is not a hard-hearted and suavely mature super-agent but a troubled yet ultimately indomitable English teenager as concerned with revision, sports fixtures and girls as subversion, world domination and honey traps.

Our popular literary heritage is littered with cunning sleuths and stealthy investigators from Sherlock Holmes, Sexton Blake, Campion and Lord Peter Wimsey to the Scarlet Pimpernel, George Smiley, Harry Palmer and Bond – James Bond – but the ongoing adventures of underaged operative Alex Rider seem set fair to top them all in time.

Subsequently transformed into graphic novel interpretations, the first three adventures – reformatted in larger more art-friendly editions, repackaged and re-released, have recently been supplemented by the game-changing fourth tale, adapted as usual by Antony Johnston and sisters Kanako Damerum & Yuzuru Takasaki.

In 2000 author and TV screenwriter Anthony Horowitz produced Stormbreaker, the first of nine (and counting…) rip-snorting teen novels featuring 14-year old orphan Alex Rider: a smart, fit, sports-mad lad like any other, who suddenly discovers that his guardian Uncle Ian has also mysteriously died. Moreover the enigmatic but attentive deceased elder gentleman was apparently a spy of some distinction and had been surreptitiously teaching the lad all the skills, techniques and disciplines needed to become a secret agent…

Soon MI6 were knocking on his door…

As well as a major motion picture and video game, the books (the first four so far) have also been adapted to the comics medium; their easy blend of action, invention, youthful rebellion and overwhelmingly engaging 007 pastiche winning many fans in the traditionally perilous older-boys book market. They’re well worth further investigation…

His occasional paymasters at MI6 are always looking for ways to exploit his obvious talents but Alex, although highly skilled and naturally gifted, is at best a reluctant agent, preferring a normal life to the clandestine machinations of espionage.

Sadly trouble and duty seem unable to ignore him and whilst holidaying in France with schoolgirl friend and confidante Sabina Pleasure and her family, Alex spots Russian assassin Yassen Gregorovitch – the man who killed his Uncle Ian – and trails him.

The surveillance leads to a crowded café and an overheard suspicious phone call before reason prevails and Alex decides to leave it alone. After all, his experiences have shown that all spies are as bad as each other and he should have nothing to do with any of them.

However when he and Sabina return to Edward Pleasure’s holiday villa they find police, fire-crews, ambulances and a smouldering ruin. The place had inexplicably blown up with Sabina’s dad inside and almost caught Mrs Pleasure too…

Horrified, Alex concludes that the tragedy was all his fault. If only he had acted when he had the chance…

Unable to convince the French authorities that it was no accident, young Rider goes hunting for Gregorovitch and ambushes the assassin, determined to kill him with his own gun…

Unable to carry out his threat, Alex learns from the unexpectedly forthcoming mercenary that although the explosion was the killer’s work the boy spy was not the target…

When the Russian’s ally returns the boy is trapped, but rather than simply shoot him, Yassen gives Alex a chance of survival by making him the star in a bullfight. After initial shock Rider easily escapes the ordeal and heads towards the nearest port and England, but stops to ring a phone number he found in Gregorovitch’s possession. It is the direct line to Sir Damian Cray – beloved pop star, evergreen environmentalist and globally revered humanitarian. How can such a modern-day saint be connected to the world’s deadliest killer-for-hire?

Reaching Londonwithout incident, Alex begins researching the seemingly ageless musician. He also has a big fight with the newly returned Sabina (who can’t believe that her journalist father’s investigation of the star resulted in the explosion the French authorities claim was a gas leak) and turns to MI6 with his suspicions, but even they think he’s crazy and his manipulative sometime-boss Mr. Blunt sternly warns him off.

Utterly convinced he is right Alex storms out, unaware that Blunt is far more concerned that the boy might discover an unsuspected family connection to Yassen Gregorovitch…

Rider is determined to investigate Gray no matter what, but his disgust with adults in general and spies in particular is slightly tempered when the ingenious MI6 quartermaster Mr. Smithers surreptitiously sends him a tricked up pedal bike with a selection of useful technical “upgrades” and a bulletproof cycle-jersey…

Cray, a thinly veiled amalgam of Michael Jackson and Sir Cliff Richard, has his sublimely-manicured billionaire’s fingers in many pies and Alex tracks him down to an all-star Londonlaunch for the pop icon’s new Gameslayer computer console. Aided only by his housekeeper and former babysitter Jack Starbright, Alex infiltrates the launch party and is singled out by Cray to demonstrate the fully-immersive computer game in front of hundreds of journalists. When Alex begins to dominate the game Cray cheats and confirms beyond doubt that the musical saint not as benevolent as he seems…

A day later Alex and Miss Starbright are in Paris, tracking down the photographer who first put Sabina’s father onto Cray, but no sooner do they make contact with the terrified and apparently paranoid Marc Antonio than a heavily armed hit-squad raids the building.

Narrowly avoiding the killers after a harrowing rooftop pursuit, Alex ponders the snippets of information Antonio shared: Edward Pleasure was actually investigating Charlie Roper, a suspected NSA traitor possibly selling American secrets. However, when the reporters filmed the agent accepting a pay-off, it was neither North Korean nor Chinese officials but the world’s most famous pop star doling out the cash…

Soon, suspicious accidents and burglaries began and when Marc almost died from a bomb in his car he realised the awful truth…

Not knowing if the photo-journalist survived the latest attack, Alex heads acrossEuropeto the Dutch factory where Cray Software Technologies is building Gameslayer units and infiltrates the outrageously over-fortified facility in time to overhear Roper in conversation with Cray himself about a project Dubbed “Eagle Strike”…

The formerUSagent has just delivered a flash-drive which holds the most important and diligently guarded security codes inAmerica, but completely misjudged the moneyed musician’s playfully psychotic ruthlessness…

Reeling in shock at the horrific murder he’s just witnessed, Alex is then captured by Cray’s men and brought before the gloating popinjay. Obviously insane, the baroque megalomaniac overrules Yassen’s surprising objections and sentences the boy to death by forcing him to play in the life-sized, real-world mock-up of the Gameslayer scenario…

Overcoming fantastic threats and obstacles, Alex ultimately triumphs and escapes the game world. He then steals the flash-drive and spectacularly eludes an army of motorised, gun-toting pursuers before fleeing back toBritain, but the infuriated Cray has anticipated his further interference by kidnapping Sabina as she visits her father in hospital…

Cray demands that Rider bring the purloined codes to his Wiltshire mansion where he boastfully reveals his master-plan…

Damian Cray is a true philanthropist who loves the world and its many peoples. From his elevated, gifted position he has seen that drugs are the greatest threat to global harmony and has devised a simple plan to fix the problem. With the nuclear launch codes of the American President (a great personal friend) and the Presidential Jet he plans to steal, Cray will launch twenty five nuclear missiles at all the planet’s poppy fields and eradicate the problem forever…

And he gets far too close to complete success before Alex finally stops the manic maestro in a staggering, blockbuster sequence that would do any super-spy proud, but not before getting shot himself and discovering the awful truth about Gregorovitch and his own dead father…

In the weary aftermath of near-Armageddon, the swiftly-maturing Alex also has to come to terms with losing Sabina and keeping some secrets that even MI5 shouldn’t know…

This is another immensely intoxicating and hugely entertaining romp, hitting all the thrill-buttons for an ideal summer blockbuster, even though it’s told – and very convincingly – from the viewpoint of an uncertain boy rather than a suave, sophisticated adult.

This adaptation is sharp and poignant, depicting the unsure transition from boy to young man amidst situations of breathtaking danger and nerve-tingling excitement. The bold, do-or-die flair of the young hero is perfectly captured by the art of sisters Kanako & Yuzuru in their full-colour, computer-rendered manga style, happily handling the softer moments as well as the spectacular action set-pieces and spine-tingling interpersonal dramatic confrontations.

Be warned, however: even though this is a notionally a kid’s book there is a lot of realistic action and a big body-count so if you intend sharing the book with younger children, read it yourself first.

These books and their comic counterparts are a fine addition to our fiction tradition. Alex Rider will return… and so should you.
Text and illustrations © 2012 Walker Books Ltd. Based on the original novel Eagle Strike © 2002 Anthony Horowitz. All rights reserved.

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The Crazy World of Golf


By Mike Scott (Exley)
ISBN: 978-1-85015-356-6

With so much time on my hands these days I’m considering taking up a hobby to while away the tedious hours. So, rather than using the internet or asking a friend, I’ve started consulting old cartoon compilations in search of sage advice and scintillating suggestions and here’s what’s turned up on the top of the pile…

One of a delightful range of themed collections issued by transatlantic publishing outfit Exley in both English and American editions (including The Crazy World of Cats, the Greens, the Handyman, Hospitals, Gardening, Marriage, Sex and many others as well as real, proper sports such as Rugby, Cricket and Sailing) this winning monochrome landscape tome is the work of Mike Scott, who I’m appalled and ashamed to say I can find no biographical information on.

Even my trusty Dictionary of British Cartoonists and Caricaturists omits him and in this instance the internet has not been my friend. I’m not certain that he’s British-based or even a bloke at all, despite a delightfully authentic line in UK fashions, trivia and frustration-fuelled attitude – but his keen observation, surreal invention and loosely manic drawing style lend themselves perfectly to synthesising and encapsulating the passion and insanity of this all-weather subject which fascinates and absorbs so many normally rational folk…

Cartooning has been magnificently served over the centuries by masters of form, line, wash and most importantly sharp ideas, repeatedly poking our funny bones whilst pricking our pomposities and fascinations, and nothing says more about us than the sinister lure and apparently obsessive grip of hitting balls with sticks – especially if you have to dress up funny, learn bewildering rules and terms and buy lots and lots of over-priced drinks for strangers to properly enjoy it…

Within the pages of the Crazy World of Golf the confirmed couch-potato reader will learn the horrors and joys of fashionably appropriate attire, the “Japanese Way”, how to handle the always-bracing weather, the problem with those unfortunates who don’t play and how extraterrestrials view our bizarre practices…

There are plenty of gags considering and exploring the effects upon local flora and fauna, clubhouse politics, the misunderstanding spouse, women drivers (that’s a pun, but not a good one), golf throughout history, some useful free tips, terminology explained and many moments of sheer mind-warping whimsy. There’s even a plethora of pages proving that God loves the game, if not the players…

These kinds of cartoon collections are perennial charity shop or jumble-sale fare and if you ever chance upon an item of potential artistic amusement in such a place, do yourself a favour, help out a good cause and have a cheap laugh. It might be the start of a fresh phase in your life, courtesy of another unsung master of mirth.

As for me and my hobbies… no, probably not golf…

© 1985 Mike Scott. All rights reserved.

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Siege: Dark Avengers


By Brian Michael Bendis, Mike Deodato, Chris Bachalo & various (Marvel)
ISBN: 978-0-7851-4812-8

One of the most momentous events in Marvel Comics history occurred in 1963 when a disparate array of individual heroes banded together to stop the Incredible Hulk. The Mighty Avengers combined most of the company’s fledgling superhero line in one bright, shiny and highly commercial package, and over the years the roster has waxed and waned until almost every character in their universe – and even some from others – has at some time numbered amongst their serried ranks.

In recent years, Norman Osborn (the original Green Goblin) has, through various machinations, become the American government’s Security Czar: the “top cop” in sole charge of a beleaguered nation’s defence and freedom, especially in regard to all metahuman threats and theUSA’s costumed community…

Under his draconian tenure the Superhuman Registration Act led to the Civil War, Captain America was arrested, murdered and resurrected, and numerous horrific assaults on mankind occurred: including the alien Skrulls’ Secret Invasion and Osborn’s oppressive “Dark Reign” which saw the World’s Mightiest Heroes driven underground, after which the mercurial mastermind replaced them with his own team.

These ersatz Dark Avengers comprised of dupes, puppets and a core of deadly super-villains disguised as long-established champions of justice…

As well as commanding all of America’s covert agencies and military resources under his umbrella organisation H.A.M.M.E.R., Osborn also had his own suit of Iron Man armour and as Iron Patriot led his hand-picked team, which included Greek God of War Ares, befuddled golden superman Sentry and a dimensionally displaced alien dubbed Marvel Boy.

The more familiar public faces were Hawkeye, Ms. Marvel and Spider-Man played by criminal psycho-killers Bullseye, Moonstone and Venom. Osborn even convinced Wolverine‘s deeply disturbed son Daken Akihiro to masquerade as his despised mutant father…

Not content with such commanding political and personal power, Osborn also secretly conspired with a coalition of major menacing masterminds to divvy up the world between them. The Cabal was a Star Chamber of super-villains comprising Osborn, Asgardian God Loki, gang-boss The Hood, mutant Emma Frost, the sociopathic Taskmaster, Sub-Mariner and Doctor Doom, all working towards a mutually beneficial goal, but such egomaniacal personalities can’t play well together and cracks soon began to show, both in the criminal conspiracy and Osborn himself.

He finally overreached himself and led an unsanctioned assault on Asgard as Iron Patriot, promising to conquer theEarthboundCityof the Aesir for Loki, which prompted Doom to violently quit the group, resulting in a disastrous all-out battle between the assembled Masters of Evil…

When the fugitive Avengers reunited to stop him, Osborn’s fall from grace and subsequent incarceration led to a new Heroic Age, but before that happy moment there was a great deal of nefarious chicanery and double-dealing still to come…

This gritty action-packed tome, written by Brian Michael Bendis, collects the final fateful story-arc from Dark Avengers #13-16 and the first Annual, cataclysmically concluding the long and slow-building drama as part of a company-wide crossover event which reset the entire Marvel Universe…

The countdown to chaos begins here with that aforementioned Annual, illustrated by Chris Bachalo, Tim Townsend, Jaime Mendoza & Al Vey, wherein the despondent Marvel Boy realises just what kind of men he’s allied with and goes AWOL.

Ensign Noh-Varr was a true hero in his own alternate dimension: a dedicated, decorated serving spacer; champion of the galaxy-spanning Kree Empire and passionate disciple of the ruling compound-intellect known as the Supreme Intelligence. However, since arriving on this planet he’d been manipulated and continually forced into dishonourable deeds until he could stomach no more.

Absconding with his cache of advanced weapons-tech, Noh-Varr undergoes a voyage of personal discovery on the streets ofNew York. He is befriended by feisty student Annie and almost inadvertently creates a huge tragedy when Osborn dispatches the utterly unstoppable Sentry to bring back the Dark Avengers’ errant extraterrestrial poster-boy.

Barely surviving a battle which decimates much of the City’s college district, the erstwhile Marvel Boy manages to escape and shamefully hide. His spirit all but broken, he manages to contact his cosmic mentor across the myriad infinities and receives a startling promotion when the Supreme Intelligence upgrades his tools and assigns him to protect Earth from all threats…

Moreover, even though Osborn’s minions are unable to track the reborn star-warrior, other eyes are upon Noh-Varr and the fugitive true Avengers have bold plans for the new Captain Marvel…

Illustrated by Mike Deodato, the last hurrah of Osborn’s Avengers begins with some horrific revelations about Bob Reynolds, the too-good-to-be-true, nigh-omnipotent nice-guy metahuman Sentry. Not only is his established origin a deranged spin-doctor’s dream of heroic nonsense-mythology, but his true nature has proven too much for his wife Lindy.

Unable to stand the lies and tension any longer, she murders her husband in an off-guard moment, only to see him resurrect with no trace of any injury. The golden hero is afflicted with a deadly split-personality and the decent human within him is constantly and increasingly spectacularly battling to defeat the evil thing inside.

Not even suicide can long keep the malevolent Void beast quiet. To make matters worse, Osborn is actively conspiring with the ruthlessly evil half to eradicate the well-meaning, benevolent Robert Reynolds persona who is the only thing holding back what might well be the most malign and powerful force in existence.

The most annoying stumbling block is Bob’s deep love for his wife, but the ever-scheming Iron Patriot has the perfect solution to that minor obstacle…

Osborn is no stranger to inner turmoil and conflict. Part of him is earnestly striving to do the right thing – as he sees it – for America. Only his deputy Victoria Hand is close enough to see the spectre of the psychotic Green Goblin constantly nibbling away at the Security Czar’s resolve and conscience, but her attention is too often distracted.

Currently the cause is the wanton Moonstone/Ms. Marvel who is working her way through the Avenger’s roster; using sex to undermine the team’s cohesion and challenge Osborn’s authority…

Just as Hand acts to assert her own dominance on the murderous crew, Sentry’s Void manifests and almost destroysNew York, until Osborn makes one final deal with it…

Things get a little complicated here and readers are strongly advised to consult Siege before continuing. However to recap for the sake of this review…

Asgard at that time was trapped in the Earthly realm and currently floating scant metres above the soil of Broxton, Oklahoma. Using his position as Chief of Homeland Security and capitulating to demands by evil god Loki, Osborn manufactured an “Asgardian incident” and launched an all-out invasion on the GleamingCity. The Iron Patriot actually overruled the American President and committed all the long-cultivated metahuman resources of H.A.M.ME.R., the Dark Avengers and a villainous penal battalion dubbed The Initiative to destroy the sorely pressed and time-lost Asgardians…

This rash act also compelled an enraged and outvoted Dr. Doom to turn on the Cabal and unleash a deadly nanite swarm inside Osborn’sAvengersTower…

Our story resumes here with Dark Avengers #15 as, with the Tower swiftly falling to Doom’s invading host and the team savagely counter-attacking, Osborn uses the opportunity to have “Hawkeye” remove the aggravating hurdle of Lindy Reynolds forever…

With the Void fully free and unleashed at last, the end of this saga results in a blockbusting knock-down, drag-out fight which sees the scattered and fugitive “real” superheroes such as Captain America, Nick Fury, Iron Man, Spider-Man, the Vision and all the other underground Secret Avengers triumphantly emerge to aid the Mighty Thor in ending Norman’s reign of terror…

But not here…

All that also occurs in Siege whilst this compelling but incredibly frustrating chronicle ends with the brooding aftermath of the epic wherein the vindicated true Avengers mop up their Dark replacements, mourn their dead, and put the disgraced Osborn behind bars…

This is a beautiful and powerful Fights ‘n’ Tights thriller full of fabulous incidents of character, suspense and adventure, all magnificently rendered by incredibly talented creators – as further proved by the cover gallery, Bachalo’s sketch pages and even Bendis’ pithy Afterword – but the inescapable truth here is that this book is only half the story (at the very least) and will be all but incomprehensible to new and casual readers.

Caveat so very Emptor, folks…

© 2009, 2010, 2011 Marvel Characters, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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NYX: Wannabe


By Joe Quesada, Josh Middleton, Robert Teranishi, Nelson & Chris Sotomayor (Marvel)
ISBN: 978-0-7851-1243-3

Not all Mutants in the Marvel Universe are found and mentored by heroes, villain or the ever-vigilant Federal Government. Some are just left to fend for themselves in a harsh and unforgiving world. That was the premise of an edgy but ill-starred seven issue X-Men spin-off created by scripter Joe Quesada and artists Josh Middleton & Robert Teranishi between 2003 and 2005: a much delayed and deadline-doomed saga which also introduced Wolverine’s “daughter” X-23 (originally an animation character) to the comic book continuity as part of a pack of homeless runaway mutant teenagers.

NYX: (New York: district X) Wannabe follows the troubled life of Kiden Nixon, who we first see as an innocent ordinary toddler witnessing her adored cop father gunned down in the streets. A decade later she is a very troubled bad-girl constantly battling her mom, her skeevy ratbag younger brother and everybody else; perpetually in trouble at school and just not giving a damn.

When she gets into a faceoff with juvenile gangbanger Hector Morales the violence and potential tragedy is only averted by teacher Cameron Palmer, who is pitifully unaware of how deep the animosities run…

When Hector attacks Kiden’s only friend Kara, the emotionally troubled but fiercely protective Nixon girl lashes out and an unsuspected power kicks in for the first time, leaving Morales with a shattered arm and Kiden horrified at what she might be…

If Cameron is baffled and traumatized by the bewildering event, Kiden is on the edge of reason and her positively toxic home environment doesn’t help. Waiting for the disciplinary hammer to fall at school and living in the middle of a frustrating and exasperating war between her male siblings and mother almost proves too much for the girl, but there’s worse waiting at Rudolph Giuliani High where the humiliated Hector has smuggled a gun past the metal detectors…

When he shoots at her, Kiden’s time-freezing power spontaneously activates again and she easily disarms the static would-be killer. However when the world moves again she finds that Miss Palmer has been hit by the bullet she had so easily avoided…

Kiden vanished for good that day, and six months later her tormented teacher has gone to pieces. The shock and trauma proving just too much, one typical day Cameron Palmer takes all her meds at once, slits her wrists in the bathtub and lets go of it all, only to be fortuitously found by Kiden Nixon, back from a chronological walkabout that has taken a little while, six months or many years, depending on your perspective…

As Kiden waits by Cameron’s hospital bedside, fending off the cops’ questions with practised maturity, across town a nigh-autistic child-hooker greets an old client with very specialised tastes. This john doesn’t want simple sex from Zebra Daddy‘s star turn, he just wants to be cut; deep and hard and often…

Daddy is the nastiest pimp in the Flatiron district and his clients and contacts are very powerful…

Kiden is avoiding her family and stays with Cameron after her discharge, but cannot get her to accept that her former pupil is a mutant, nor that her being shot was the student’s fault. Still despondent, Palmer threatens to call Child Protective Services unless Kiden goes home…

Nixon has another secret: for ages she has been receiving guidance and messages from the bloody ghost of her dead father, and that night he directs her to a sleazy hotel in the nastiest part of town. Following, Cameron finds Kiden in a room with a bleeding corpse, and an underage girl covered in blood and with claws projecting from the backs of her hands…

In the Bronxhardworking young Tatiana Caban uncomplainingly mixes her part-time jobs with schoolwork, but finds her greatest joy in caring for the veritable colony of stray animals she has gathered in the derelict ruins of the Borough. Meanwhile Cameron, the rescued cutter girl and Kiden sit in a Diner. The teacher is at last listening to her lost former student as the refugee girl describes her runaway months: when she learned how to use her powers, stopping and starting her personal time-line. Despite the obvious pitfalls it wasn’t all bad: avoiding cops, brutes and rapists eventually turned into living wild and free with fellow homeless kids and even finding first love…

Eventually she returned home only to have her brother chase her away without ever seeing their mother or the new family she was marrying into. Sleeping in an ally that night her murdered father came to her and told Kiden to go to her teacher’s apartment…

Tatiana’s home life is no picnic either with her mother preferring the company of bad men to caring for her own kids, but nothing like as bad as the story the hooker – “Jade” -tells Kiden and Cameron about how her latest trick really died. …and then dead Dad appeared again…

With issue #5 of the sporadically released and permanently deadline-missed series, artist Robert Teranishi and inkers Nelson & Chris Sotomayor replaced Josh Middleton, just as a flashback revealed how psychotic pimp Zebra Daddy took the news that a major repeat customer was dead and his best money-maker was in the wind with a couple of stray girls…

In Cameron’s flat, the ghost – who only Kiden can see – is telling her to get out now and only moment’s later Daddy and his crew bursts in, all guns blazing…

Next morning Tatiana’s life changes forever as her mutant power triggers at school. Tragically that “gift” is to become an anthropomorphic form of any animal whose blood she touches – such as that wounded puppy she picked up on the way to class…

Her spectacular public transformation into a dog-faced girl sparks an anti-mutant riot in school and the terrified teen is hounded down Main Street by a crazed mob, until she runs straight into the hiding Kiden and her fugitive friends.

Zebra Daddy is going ballistic. Until the girls are safely disposed of, his business is a liability and potential death sentence, but none of his gang can find Jade or her friends. Lucky for him he knows someone who can help…

Bobby Soul is a mutant too, a guy who can project his consciousness into others and possess them. As “Felon”, Bobby was a real asset to Daddy’s business but these days the guy was retired, spending his time looking after his severely mentally challenged and mute little brother. Nonetheless, Bobby could be persuaded to do a favour for an old comrade, especially as the money was so useful and his ex-boss promised nobody was going to get hurt…

Of course Daddy is unaware of the downside of Felon’s gift: all that time spent in other people’s heads meant that Bobby’s own memories were slowly eroding…

Events cascade to a bloody climax once Bobby’s powers ferret out the runaway girls and he passes on the information to ZD. However with his mission accomplished Bobby returns to his radically-impaired dependent and is horrified to see the blood-spattered ghost of a policeman hovering above the somnolent “Lil’ Bro”…

With the dead white guy giving advice and instructions, Bobby realises how he’s been fooling himself and the errors of his solitary ways before setting off to make amends, well aware of what Zebra Daddy and his goons are really intending to do…

Of course nobody can conceive of what Kiden, Jade and “Catiana” are capable of either…

Dark, harsh and pitilessly gritty this troubled tale of truly troubled teens effectively delves beneath the sordid underbelly of the urban cityscape to deliver a suspenseful, mature blend of mutant mayhem and hard-hitting social drama that will appal some Fights ‘n’ Tights fans but hopefully appeal to readers looking for an edge of tawdry realism in the fantasy fiction.

This collection also includes an exhaustive sketchbook section by Middleton, an examination of the cover creation process, an unused finished cover and extensive pencil art pages to enthral those with a need to know and a desire to make their own graphic epics one day.
© 2003, 2004, 2005 and 2006 Marvel Characters Inc. All Rights Reserved.