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John Constantine, HELLBLAZER: THE LAUGHING MAGICIAN


By Andy Diggle, Leonardo Manco & Daniel Zezelj (Vertigo)
ISBN: 978-1-84576-881-2

Following directly on from the events of John Constantine, Hellblazer: Joyride (ISBN: 978-1-84576-775-4) this second collection of the unstoppable mystic trickster written by London’s Pride Andy Diggle re-presents issues #238-242 of the monthly Vertigo comic-book; comprising two chilling preludes and a visceral saga that sets up the series for a longer, even darker tale to follow.

Modern mystic Constantine is indulging in his downtime of choice: ciggies, booze and a hot date when he’s summoned by the ethereal Map, Patron god of London to rescue a trio of young thrill-seekers who have inadvertently slipped into the metaphysical hell of Shadow London. Grudgingly acquiescing, the sordid sorcerer forgets his own first principle “what are you really after?” to his eternal regret…

‘Smoke’ is illustrated by Daniel Zezelj, and is followed by ‘The Passage’ a prologue illustrated by Leonardo Manco (as is the rest of the volume) which introduces Mako, a War-Mage in devastated Darfur who’s hunting for the eponymous ‘Laughing Magician’. A Muti master (blackest blood magic), the deadly sorcerer is thwarted by an old wizard (last seen in John Constantine, Hellblazer: Original Sins (ISBN 1-84576-465-X) who sends a warning to Constantine by possessing an aid worker and dispatching him to Britain.

Magic is harsh and has no thought for innocence. The harrowing trip is just a taste of what is to come when Mako gets the right scent and follows all the way to London.

The trilogy of chapters that follows once again displays the callous superiority of comics’ greatest anti-hero as he finesses one threat against another, but the book ends without closure as his foes are now aligned against him and the trickster leaves his home turf to prepare himself for what’s still to come…

Andy Diggle has a powerful feel for and grasp of the idiosyncratic world of John Constantine. Blending Gangland, today’s news headlines, politics and the ghastly unknown, these dark pleasures are some of the most compelling stories in a series that has spanned more than twenty years and drawn the best work from a truly stellar cast of creators.

If you haven’t sampled the delights of Hellblazer you should climb aboard the ghost train and get chilled right away!

© 2008 DC Comics. All Rights Reserved.

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CATWOMAN: THE DARK END OF THE STREET


By Ed Brubaker, Darwyn Cooke, Cameron Stewart & Mike Allred (DC Comics)
ISBN13: 978-1-84023-567-8

Reinvigorated and transformed by her return to Gotham City and the shucking of her sleazy, buxom, “bad-Grrl” status, (See Selina’s Big Score ISBN: 1-84023-773-3 for the full details and another rollickin’ good read) Catwoman began a more socially conscious career as a vigilante; extending her own brand of succour to the shady denizens of Gotham City’s sleazy East End District. This book collects the back-up series that ran in Detective Comics #759-762 and the first four issues of her 2001 series (volume 2, I rather suspect you’d call it).

Technically a Slam Bradley story, the ‘Trail of the Catwoman’ serial by Ed Brubaker, Darwyn Cooke and Cameron Stewart sees the grizzled old private eye hired by the Mayor to find the legendary super-thief even though all evidence indicates that she’s dead. In true film noir tradition a convoluted trail leads to lots of sordid situations and hairsbreadth escapes for the world-weary gumshoe as he unravels her life, the tension increasing as he realizes he’s falling for a girl he’s never met and hunting her for the worst cutthroats in Gotham…

For greater clarity you should read Catwoman: Selina’s Big Score (ISBN: 1-84023-773-3) before continuing with this book which then picks up a few months later as Selina Kyle moves into the East End of Old Gotham and finds renewed meaning when she determines to stop a serial killer preying on prostitutes and street girls.

‘Anodyne’ by Brubaker, Cooke and Mike Allred, reintroduces Holly Robinson, first seen in Batman: Year One (ISBN 1-84576-158-8) and the follow-up Catwoman (1989) miniseries by Mindy Newell and JJ Birch (collected as Her Sister’s Keeper ISBN: 978-0-44639-366-9). Reunited, the old friends decide to solve the case that Gotham’s corrupt authorities won’t touch.

The transition from sleek, sexy cat-burglar to tarnished champion of the underclass is a masterpiece of slick storytelling, and the cutting-edge art from Cooke et al pushed this series to a level few could touch.

Even after all this time this is probably the best incarnation of Catwoman ever – and that’s including Eartha Kitt purring away in that outfit! Fans of caper movies, Noir thrillers and just plain fun-seekers should make this book their own forever.

© 2001, 2002 DC Comics. All Rights Reserved.

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HORNY TAILS


By Richard Moore (Amerotica/NBM)
ISBN: 978-1-56163-275-6

I know I’ve enquired before but… Oi! How old are you?

The salacious and saucy have always had a place in the art and literature of mankind. We’re all monkeys at heart and the sexual act has always fascinated us, no matter how we deny or disguise it. Furthermore, the only real difference between erotica and pornography is purely a subjective and relativistic one, so I’m not going to waste space quibbling. This is a rude book so if you’re easily shockable go away now…

I won’t think any less of you.

Those still here and firmly clutching smelling salts, read on…

Richard Moore is the brilliant cartoonist who writes and draws the wonderful Boneyard – probably the funniest comic being produced today – and he’s also happy to extend that gift of graphic comedy to the controversial world of Adult Comics – a safe way of describing strips of a predominantly sexual nature.

I’m not defending the entire arena of sex comics: there’s material out there even I won’t look at, but let’s be honest here. Most grown-ups can tell the difference between harmless – or even enticing – fantasy and brutal misogyny masquerading as physical love, especially in a genre that can encompass everything from Debbie Does Dallas to John Willie’s Sweet Gwendoline. And don’t get me started on the cynically coy softcore creators…

Adult comics fall into three camps: Charming, Intellectual and Tawdry, and each devotee is cordially invited to stick to what he/she prefers and not judge the rest. Here Endeth the Sermon.

Horny Tails is a collection of short stories and rude pin-ups by a man who loves drawing good-looking humans and all aspects of fantasy (new term needed here: Elves, Dragons, Fairies etc. not French Maids and Uniforms… oh I don’t know though…) and regards consensual sex as natural and fun. These stories are collected from Radio Comix and Anthilll Comics, featuring established mythological charmers and favourite characters.

In Imps and Angels: Fire and Brimstone the metaphysical girls use their charms to recapture a rampant devil, the anthropomorphic stars of The Pound go for a very wild ride, whilst M’Lady goes for a romp in the woods in Don’t Tease and wins her heart’s desire in Magically Delicious.

The nanite-infected human weapon Tin God almost gets more than she bargained for and the eccentric stars of Far West experience a spiritual presence in Tasty Pretty. Finally The Return of Frankenstein is a classy, silly romance of consenting – if artificially created – adults and this book concludes with 15 pages of sexy, whimsical, funny pin-ups of naked ladies, mostly with animal tails and ears – hence the title of this tome.

Unashamedly raunchy, and gently beguiling, these aren’t stories with a great deal of narrative. That’s really not the point. These are wickedly beautiful, funny – because the best sex is – teaser tales that intend to entice and delight. If you can handle all that you probably should…
© 2001 Richard Moore. All Rights Reserved.

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MARVEL: 1985


By Mark Millar & Tommy Lee Edwards (Marvel/Panini UK)
ISBN: 978-1-84653-406-5

There’s an old saying in our business that “the Golden Age of comics is ten” (or eight or eleven or… you get the picture). Simply stated it posits that there’s a perfect moment when dawning comprehension and sophistication meets childish wonderment and imagination head-on and whatever you’re reading at that time suddenly transcends Art, Entertainment, Every Thing: it becomes all-encompassing magic.

And no matter what, nothing that follows – cars, sex, extreme ironing – absolutely nothing can touch or tarnish or diminish that Road to Damascus moment.

Hold that thought and consider this collection of the 2008 miniseries from Mark Millar and Tommy Lee Edwards – two superb creators more commonly associated with the older end of the marketplace. In 1985 cynical young Toby Goodman is just getting seriously into comic-books. His local comic store has just turned him on to the maxi-series Marvel Super-Heroes: Secret Wars and the four-colour madness he’s increasingly drawn into acts as a welcome respite from his personal life.

His parents are getting divorced and he’s embarrassed that his cool dad can’t get his life together while the yuppie whiz-kid his mom’s living with seems to be an obnoxious “Mr Perfect.” The old ramshackle Wyncham House where his dad and that weird kid Clyde used to play and collect funny-books twenty years ago has been taken over by a strange bunch of oddballs. They offer Toby’s dad the pristine collection of comics in the cellar – left untouched since Clyde Wyncham was put in a sanatorium – but honest fellow that he is Jerry Goodman tells them to sell the stash to the comic store – just like you or I would…

And then things start to get weird. Toys that don’t exist start appearing. People dressed like Marvel Super-villains start appearing around the tiny town. A giant green monster who looks and talks like the Incredible Hulk catches Toby snooping…

This intriguing tale recounts what happens when a fantasy world invades our real one, and the everyday actions of comic life become gritty horror as all the villains of the Marvel Universe are brutally unleashed on a Small Town USA. As the carnage escalates only Toby knows what to do. Using a portal in Wyncham House the boy goes into the Marvel Universe to fetch the super-heroic cavalry…

This tale reads like a movie plot seeking to marry the way-out world of comics to our world, and has some pleasant echoes those Gardner Fox days of Infinite Earths as well as a flavour of Marvel’s own boldly innovative Nth Man series (by Larry Hama and Ron Wagner, from 1989-91 if you’re interested) and it won’t be to everybody’s taste, but if you’re a casual visitor or lapsed fan this well-executed yarn might tickle some old fancies.

© 2007, 2008 Marvel Entertainment, Inc. and its subsidiaries. All Rights Reserved. (A BRITISH EDITION BY PANINI UK LTD)

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THE CABBIE

The Cabbie
By Marti Riera (Catalan Communications)
ISBN: 0-87416-042-1

Dick Tracy is one of the most well-known strips in the world and his contributions to the art form are many and indisputable. They occurred over many decades and the medium of graphic narrative grew up with it. Imagine the effect instant exposure – almost over exposure – to such an uncompromising, bombastic, iconic property on the artists of a nation where free-expression and creative autonomy was suppressed for generations.

That’s what happened when the death of General Franco (who held Spain in a fascistic time-warp from his victory in October 1936 until his death in November 1975) instantly opened-up and liberalized all aspects of Spanish life. As Art Spiegelman says in his introduction ‘decades of political and social repression gave way to a glorious eruption of creativity that allowed a full-fledged counterculture to come to life at just about the same time that America’s “Love Generation” gave way to what Tom Wolfe labeled the “Me Generation.”’

How odd yet fitting then that an American symbol of “the Establishment” so enchanted and captivated the young cartoonist Marti Riera that he assimilated every line and nuance to create this dark and angry homage concerning the tribulations of a seedy, desperate taxi-driver trapped in a vanished past and prey to a world at once free and dangerous, ungoverned and chaotic.

Driving the seedy part of town our hero picks up a high-rolling gambler who’s just won big, but his night goes horribly wrong when a knife-wielding thief hijacks the cab and robs his passenger. Luckily the Cabbie can handle himself and he quickly, brutally subdues the thug.

He’s a decent, hard-working man who lives with his ailing mother, humouring her talk of a mysterious inheritance, and allowing her to keep the embalmed cadaver of his father in the spare bedroom, but he’s tragically unaware that his citizen’s arrest will have terrible repercussions for them both.

When the son of the thief he captured is released from prison he immediately begins a grim campaign of retribution against the Cabbie that creates a maelstrom of tragedy, degradation and despair.

This is a harsh and uncompromising tale of escalating crime and uncaring punishments: bleakly cynical and populated with a cast of battered, desolate characters of increasingly degenerate desperation. Even the monsters are victims. But for all that the Cabbie is an incredibly compelling drama with strong allegorical overtones and brutally mesmerizing visuals. Any adult follower of the art form should be conversant with this superb work and hopefully a complete translated edition will emerge one day…
© 1987 Marti Riera. Introduction © 1987 Art Spiegleman. English language edition © 1987 Catalan Communications. All Rights Reserved.

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UNCLE SCROOGE & DONALD DUCK Gladstone Comic Album Special #2


By Carl Barks (Gladstone)
ISBN: 0-944599-27-3

Carl Barks is one of the greatest storytellers America has ever produced, and was finally beginning to get the recognition he deserved when he died in 2000, a few months shy of his hundredth birthday.

His early life is well-documented elsewhere if you need detail, but briefly, Barks worked as a animator at Disney’s studio before quitting in 1942 to work in comics. With studio partner Jack Hannah he adapted a Bob Karp script for an unmade cartoon short into the comicbook Donald Duck Finds Pirate Gold which was published as Dell Four Color Comics Series II #9 in October of that year. Although not his first published comics work, it was the story that shaped the rest of his career.

Until the mid-1960s Barks worked in productive seclusion writing and drawing a vast collection of comedic adventure yarns for kids, creating a Duck Universe of characters such as Gladstone Gander (1948), the Beagle Boys (1951), Gyro Gearloose (1952), Flintheart Glomgold (1956), John D. Rockerduck (1961) and Magica De Spell (1961) to augment the stable of cartoon actors from the Disney Studio. His greatest creation was the crusty, paternalistic, money-mad bajillionaire Scrooge McDuck.

So magical were his creations that they actually influenced the animation output of the parent company itself, although his work was actually done for the licensing company Whitman/Dell/Gold Key, and not directly for Disney.

Throughout this period Barks was blissfully unaware that his work, uncredited by official dictat as was all the companys output, was nevertheless singled out by a rabid and discerning public as being by “the Good Duck Artist.” When some of his most dedicated fans finally tracked him down, his belated celebrity began. As well as only being fair it meant that an awful lot of great work was now able to be conscientiously reprinted, by an adoring and grateful band of well-intentioned aficionados.

Gladstone publishing began re-releasing classic Barks material, and a selection of other Disney comics work, in a variety of formats beginning in the 1980s and this album is one of my favourites.

In glorious oversized format it reprints Uncle Scrooge #5 (1954) wherein Donald and his nephews are bullied and bamboozled by the miserly mallard into finding the sunken city of Atlantis. It’s a stirring blend of timeless slapstick comedy and fanciful Boy’s Own adventure that entrances and captivates, and it supplemented by a couple of single-page gag strips that still deliver a chortle today.

These are followed by the contents of Donald Duck Four Color #256 from 1949. “Luck of the North” features another duel of wits and fortitude between the irascible Duck and his good-for-nothing but preternaturally lucky cousin Gladstone Gander, which leads to the pair going treasure hunting to Alaska: with Huey, Dewey and Louie in tow to keep the grown-ups from acting too childishly.

This is a epic yarn fit for Indiana Jones himself, full of action, hardship, fantastic discoveries and rip-roaring spectacle – all delivered in the mesmerising line style that so elevated Barks above his peers. Topped off with another gag-short from Donald Duck Four Color #178 (1947) this album perfectly shows why Barks is so revered and influential.

Thankfully even if you can’t find this particular volume, Barks’ work is now readily accessible through a number of publishers and outlets. So if you’ve never experienced captivating brand of magic, no matter what your age or temperament you can easily experience the wonder of what Will Eisner called “the Hans Christian Andersen of Comics.”

© The Walt Disney Company. All Rights Reserved.

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THE HEART OF THE BEAST

Heart of the Beast
By Dean Motter, Judith Dupré & Sean Phillips (Vertigo)
ISBN: 1-56389-145-X

From the early days of DC’s Vertigo imprint comes this disturbing reworking – or more accurately contemporary sequel – to one of literature’s greatest stories of mystery and gothic imagination. Dean Motter is a creator with a singularly unique voice and style and his collaboration with Judith Dupré on this moody script adds a chilling edge to a fantasy which is suitably sub-titled “a love story”.

Released as an original hardcover graphic novel it tells of Sandra, who spends a fateful night tending bar at a New York Gallery opening paid for by the rich but creepy celebrity plastic surgeon Dr. Andrew Wright. Even in the supremely decadent world of the Art Glitterati the surgeon is infamous, with dubious connections to the high and mighty and the down and dirty.

So Sandra is surprised when she meets the beautiful, sensitive Victor, a poetic rose among crass, wealthy thorns. Despite herself she is drawn to the mysterious paragon who seems so much more than Dr. Wright’s factotum and dogsbody.

A man of many secrets, Victor is almost the ideal lover, but his devotion to the shadier side of the doctor’s dealings with gangsters and art forgers augers nothing but disaster for their budding relationship. Furthermore there is some hideous secret he is keeping from her – an obstacle not even the truest love can overcome…

I’ve tried to keep the origin of the source work as vague as possible here since the unfolding secret is well-handled and adds to the dawning horror of the situation. The love-story spirals to a tragic conclusion that echoes that of the classic novel, and the beguiling painted art of Sean Phillips heightens the mood, evoking the distant past and spotlighting the harsh modern world with equal skill.

This tale failed to find a large audience when first released, but it’s a solid story superbly told and I’m convinced it would do well if released today – especially in a more economical paperback edition.
© 1994 Dean Motter & Sean Phillips. All Rights Reserved.

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THE PRIVATE FILES OF THE SHADOW

Private Files of the Shadow
By Dennis O’Neil, Michael Wm. Kaluta and various (DC Comics)
ISBN: 0-930289-37-7

Before comic books, thrill-hungry readers got their measured doses of extraordinary excitement from cheaply produced periodical novels dubbed “pulps” because of the low-grade paper they were printed on. There were hundreds published every month ranging from the truly excellent to the pitifully dire in every style and genre. In the contemporary adventure medium there were two star characters who outshone all others.

The Superman of his day was Doc Savage, Man of Bronze, and the dark, relentless creature of the night dispensing his own terrifying justice was called The Shadow.

Originally the radio series Detective Story Hour, based on unconnected yarns from the Street & Smith publication Detective Story Magazine, used a spooky voiced narrator (most famously Orson Welles, although he was preceded by James LaCurto and Frank Readick Jr.) to introduce the tales. Code-named “the Shadow”, and beginning on July 31st 1930, he became more popular than the stories he introduced.

The Shadow became a proactive hero solving mysteries and on April 1st 1931 debuted in his own pulp series, written by the incredibly prolific Walter Gibson under the house pseudonym Maxwell Grant. On September 26th 1937 the radio show officially became The Shadow with the eerie line “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of Men? The Shadow knows!”

Grant wrote 282 of 325 novels over the next two decades, which were published twice a month. The series spawned comic books, seven movies, a newspaper strip (by Vernon Greene) and all the merchandising paraphernalia you’d expect of a superstar brand. The pulp series ended in 1949 although many novels have been written (both by Gibson and others) since 1963 when a pulp and fantasy revival gripped America.

The Golden age comic book ran for 101 issues before cancellation in 1949 and Archie/Radio/Mighty Comics published a controversial modern-day version in 1964-5, written by Robert Bernstein with art from John Rosenberger and latterly Paul Reinman.

In 1973 DC acquired the comic rights and produced a captivating if brief series of classic tales that were unlike any other superhero title then on the stands. Scripter Denny O’Neil and designer/illustrator Mike Kaluta set their cloaked avenger solidly in the horror vein, treating the series as if it were part of the company’s stable of successful terror titles like House of Mystery and firmly placed him in the only milieu possible: America of the 1930s. Sadly the pair only worked on five of the dozen stories, but those were collected into this superb hardcover in 1989.

‘The Doom Puzzle’ found the cloaked crusader with his faithful crew Moe, Shrevvy, Harry Vincent and Margot Lane on the trail of brutal petty thugs and a criminal mastermind attempting to pull off a colossal theft, and the second issue featured a murderous case of industrial espionage that revolved around the seedy Sorber Carnival in ‘The Freak Show Murders’.

The third tale was a sheer delight for fans of gothic comic art as Berni Wrightson inked Kaluta on ‘The Kingdom of the Cobra’ as the Shadow exposed nefarious doings behind the forbidding granite walls of Ainsley Prison.

A bootlegging gang lead the dark avenger to a ruthless criminal mastermind in ‘Death is Bliss’ (co-written by Len Wein) and the reprints end far too soon with the atmospheric martial arts enigma ‘Night of the Ninja’.

There’s one last treat in store however as Kaluta wrote and drew (with colours by Elaine Lee) an all-new tale ‘In the Toils of Wing Fat’ especially for this collection – a 15 page visual tour-de-force that saw the Shadow hunting for a kidnapped child in the deadly streets of Chinatown.

This is where I normally demand that this great book be republished – and I really hope somebody does because these are fabulous tales of period adventure – but my fondest hope and belief is that a large trade paperback with all twelve issues collected is on somebody’s release schedule.

The Kaluta stories are incredible and significant adventures but the four tales illustrated by the legendary Frank Robbins and even the unfairly slighted three by E.R Cruz (one of which contains a team-up with fellow pulp star The Avenger) are worthy of renewed scrutiny by the millions of fans and would-be followers.

Obviously there’s always going to be rights issues over any property with such a chequered publishing history, but if Dark Horse can publish Marvel Conan and Star Wars material, surely something can be done with the world’s first Dark Knight?
© 1989 Condé Naste Publications, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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WARRIORS OF PLASM: THE COLLECTED EDITION

WARRIORS OF PLASM: THE COLLECTED EDITION
WARRIORS OF PLASM

By Jim Shooter, David Lapham and various (Defiant)
No ISBN:

If the 1980s was the decade where anybody with a pencil and a printer’s phone number could enter the business, the 1990s saw the rapid rise – and very often swift fall – of the small corporation publisher. Lots of businesses opened or acquired a comics division to augment or supplement their core business: like the Nintendo Comics that were packaged by and published in conjunction with Valiant Comics.

Jim Shooter founded Valiant with Bob Layton, and later went on to launch the short-lived but highly impressive Defiant Comics of which this book is – to my knowledge – the only collected edition.

That’s a great pity as the range of talent that briefly worked there as well as the titles themselves showed great promise. The legal war of attrition with Marvel that caused their early closure is well documented elsewhere, so I’ll swiftly move on to the product itself.

The Flagship title Warriors of Plasm was a powerful alien intervention tale set mostly in an alternate universe where a single race had taken genetic science to such extremes that their homeworld had become a voracious planetary organism which continually fed on the biomass of other worlds.

Society on The Org was hierarchical, imperialistic and ritually sadistic, where the credos of “survival of the fittest” and “evolve or die” had the force of fanatical religion. Ruled by a weak Emperor, the court lived a life of brutal hedonistic luxury, revelling in decadence, relentlessly jockeying for advantage.

Lorca is a Seeker, high in the court and charged with finding new worlds for the Org to consume, but something within him defies the official doctrine that personality is an aberration and that all bio-matter belongs to the greater whole. Bodies are mulched and recycled whilst individuality is an anti-social aberration, yet all organisms clearly would do absolutely anything not to die.

Spurred on by his corrupt rival Ulnareah, Lorca forms an illegal relationship with Laygen, a girl created without state-approval, and when caught he is forced to recycle her to preserve his own existence.

Bitter and discontented he returns to work, but when he discovers Earth beyond the transdimensional veil he sees an opportunity to overthrow the Org and take supreme control. The humans are strong, individualistic, fierce warriors, and with his genetic augmentation could to defeat any force the Org could muster. He teleports 10,000 test subjects to his private vats but something goes wrong.

Only five humans survive, mutated into superhuman beings, but the Seeker is unaware of this since he’s been arrested by the authorities who never stopped watching him…

How the transformed humans escape and the uneasy alliance they form with the unlikely liberator Lorca makes for a refreshingly novel spin on the old plot of revolution and redemption, and Shooter’s dialogue and characterisations of what could so easily have been stock characters adds layers of sophistication to this fantasy drama that many “adult” comics would kill for even today.

David Lapham’s incredible art and design inked by Mike Witherby, simultaneously understated and outrageous, captivates and bewilders, adding a moody disorientation to a superb, action-packed thriller, especially in the incredible, climactic four-page fold-out battle scene.

Originally produced as Warriors of Plasm #1-4, ‘The Sedition Agenda’ was preceded by an issue #0 daringly released as a set of trading cards and supplemented by a prequel tale outlining the social relevance of the gory global sporting phenomenon known as Splatterball, written and drawn by Lapham with inks by Bob Smith, and all these tales are gathered here for your delectation.

I have no idea where you can find a copy of this terrific little book but I hope you do, just as I wish that some smart publisher would pick up the rights for all the Defiant material: and then we’ll get the entire band back together and finish all the other stories and…
© 1994 EEP, L.P. All Rights Reserved.

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THE UNADULTERATED CAT

THE UNADULTERATED CAT
THE UNADULTERATED CAT

By Terry Pratchett and Gray Jolliffe (Orion)
ISBN: 978-0-75283-715-4

For the early part of the history of cartooning dogs ruled. For every Felix or Krazy Kat there were dozens of Dog Stars like Bonzo or Snoopy, Odie or Fred Bassett. That’s because dogs are man’s best friends.

Towards the end of the last century sly cynical cats like Heathcliff or Garfield prowled onto the scene and rather took over. And that’s because they’re Real, Unadulterated cats.

Dogs have owners, Cats have staff. They run the house and rule the world, and no amount of cosmeticisation can hide the ugly facts.

This hilarious book will strike a chilling chord with every cat owner, as fantasy author Pratchett explains the ethos behind “The Campaign for Real Cats” who seek to reveal the sordid truth behind the fuzzy little darlings.

Cats are greedy, lazy, vicious, voracious, and need all nine lives because they take every slight opportunity to spectacularly end the one they’re living – you’re reading a blog by a man who’s had to saw his own drawing board in half to extricate an extremely ungrateful tabby from the parallel bar wiring. And don’t get me started on window blinds either.

Brilliantly funny, this slim tome reveals the unvarnished truth about Felis Domesticus – and they’ll drink varnish too if you don’t watch ’em like hawks – written by a comedy mastermind and brilliantly illustrated by the cartoonist who exposed the wickedness of willies.

Still readily available, this is a thoroughly British kind of humour that will soundly affirm the fears of cat-haters – and cat-lovers – everywhere, whilst making them all laugh loud enough not to care.
Text © 1989, 1996 Terry & Lyn Pratchett. Illustrations © 1989, 1996 Gray Jolliffe. All Rights Reserved.