Category: Comedy

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The Crazy World of Housework


By Bill Stott (Exley)
ISBN: 978-1-85015-314-6

I’m feeling glum today so it’s probably time to roll out another cartoon compendium and give my blue genes a bit of a workout. To remedy matters I’ve selected another collection of dry, droll and stunningly accurate observations by one of our best and most neglected gagsters, Bill Stott.

One more prolific but criminally nigh-forgotten staple of British cartooning, Stott’s manic fluid style, aggressively evocative drawing and trenchantly acerbic concoctions (which could here be summarised as “there’s a problem here, and it’s you…”) were a mainstay of Punch, Private Eye, The Times and many other papers and publications since he began commercial work in 1976.

In his other life he was – and remains – a degree-level painting and drawing tutor. Moreover he’s still in the game – such as it is in these days of magazine and newspaper cartoon paucity – and you can check out his latest stuff or even commission an original simply by visiting billstott.co.uk.

There might even be copies of this brilliant chronicle of chuckles on sale there…

British cartooning has been magnificently served over the centuries by masters of form, line, wash and most importantly clever ideas repeatedly poking our funny bones whilst pricking our pomposities and fascinations, and nothing is more revealing of our darkest drives and social structure than the division of labour necessitated by keeping the cave clean and the provider fed…

Within the pages of the Crazy World of Housework (released in both English and American editions) we see the utter uselessness if not downright genetic incompatibility of grime-attracting children, the adult male’s genetic inability to iron, see dirt or follow instructions on cleaning products, the thin line between sanity and sanitary, the plight of stay-at-home husbands, what does not constitute a suitable gift for a housewife, how “house-proud” goeth before a fall, the wickedness of advertising promises, the burden of snobbery, the cruel seductive lure of gadgets, the mixed joys of pet ownership and just how close to breaking-point all ironers, washers and dusters really are every day…

These kinds of cartoon collection are perennial library/charity shop and jumble sale fare and if you ever see a Stott package (others in this particular series include The Crazy World of Cats, Cricket, Hospitals, Gardening, Marriage and Rugby) in such a place, do yourself a favour, help out a good cause and have a brilliant laugh with another true master of mirth.
© 1992 Bill Stott. All rights reserved.

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Footrot Flats book 6


By Murray Ball (Orin Books)
ISSN: 0156-6172

Footrot Flats is one of the funniest comic strips ever created and seems to have been designed as an antidote to idealistic pastoral fantasy and bucolic self-deception. Created in 1975 by cartoonist and comics artist Murray Ball after returning to his New Zealand homeland, the fantastical farm feature ran for a quarter of a century, with the first of a multitude of strip compendia, calendars and special editions released in 1978.

It appeared in newspapers on four continents until 1994 when Ball retired it, citing reasons as varied as the death of his own dog and the state of New Zealand politics.

Thereafter he only periodically released books of all-new material until 2000, with a net yield of 27 collections of the daily strip, 8 volumes of Sunday pages dubbed the “Weekenders”, 5 pocket books and ancillary publications such as comedy calendars and “school kits” aimed at younger fans and their harried parents.

There was a stage musical, a theme park and in 1986 a truly superb feature-length animated film. The Dog’s Tail Tale became New Zealand’s top-grossing film (and probably remained so until Peter Jackson started fiddling about with Hobbits) – track it down on video or petition the BBC to show it again – it’s been 15 years, dammit…

The well-travelled and extremely gifted Mr. Ball had originally moved to England in the early 1960s, becoming a cartoonist for Punch (producing Stanley the Palaeolithic Hero and All the King’s Comrades) as well as drawing numerous strips for DC Thompson and Fleetway and concocting a regular political satire strip in Labour Weekly.

After marrying he returned to the Old Country and resettled in 1974 – but not to retire…

Ball was busier than ever once he’d bought a small-holding on the North Island to farm in his “spare time”, which inevitably led to the strip under review.

Taking the adage “write what you know” to startling, heartbreaking and occasionally stomach-turning heights, the peripatetic pencil-pusher built a nine day week to make room for these captivatingly insane episodes concerning the highs and lows – and most definitely “weirds” – of the rural entrepreneur as experienced by the earthily metaphoric Wallace Footrot Cadwallader: a bloke never far removed from mud and frustration…

Wal is a big, bluff farmer. He likes his grub; loves his sport – Rugby, Football (the Anzac sort, not the kiddie version Yanks call Soccer) Cricket and even Golf(ish); each in its proper season and at no other time since he just wants the easiest time a farmer’s life can offer…

Wal owns a small sheep farm (the eponymous Footrot Flats) honestly regarded as “400 acres of swamp between Ureweras and the Sea”.

With his chief – and only – hand Cooch Windgrass (a latter-day Francis of Assisi), and an avuncular sheepdog, Wal enjoys being his own boss – as much as the cat, goat, chickens, livestock and his auntie will let him…

Other persons of perennial interest include Wal’s fierce and prickly little niece Janice – known to all as Pongo, the aforementioned Aunt Dolly (AKA the sternly staunch and starched Dolores Monrovia Godwit Footrot), smart-ass local lad Rangi Wiremu Waka Jones, Dolly’s pompous and pampered Corgi Prince Charles and Pew, a sadistic, inventive, obsessed and vengeful magpie who bears an unremitting grudge against Farmer Cadwallader …

When not living in terror of the farm cat, teasing the corpulent Corgi or panic-attacking himself in imagined competition with noble hunting hound Major, Dog narrates and hosts the strip: a cool, imaginative and overly sentimental know-all and blowhard, utterly devoted to his, for want of a better term, Master – unless there’s food about, or Jess (the sheepdog bitch from down the road) is in heat again. However, the biggest and most terrifying scene-stealer is that fulsome feline Horse; a monstrous and invulnerable tomcat who lords it over every living thing in the district …

The comedy is as always, absolutely top-rate and Ball is one of those gifted few who can actually imbue a few lines on paper with the power of Shakespeare’s tragedy and the manic hilarity of manic geniuses like the Marx Brothers or Laurel and Hardy. When combined with his sharp, incisive writing the result is pure irresistible magic.

In the early 1990s Titan Books published British editions of the first three volumes and German, Japanese, Chinese and American translations also exist, as well as the marvellous Australian compendia reviewed here – as ever the internet is your friend…

Once again the funny businesses comes courtesy of the loquacious canine softie, taking time out from eking out his daily crusts (and oysters and biscuits and cake and lamb’s tails and scraps and chips and…) and alternately getting on with or annoying the sheep, cows, bull, goat, hogs, ducks, bugs, cats, horses and geese, as well as sucking up to the resolutely hostile wildlife and the decidedly odd humans his owner knows or is related to.

Dog – his given name is an embarrassing, closely and violently guarded secret – loves Wal but always tries to thwart him if the big bloke is trying to do unnecessarily necessary farm chores such as chopping down trees, burning out patches of scrub, culling livestock, or trying to mate with the pooch’s main rival Darlene “Cheeky” Hobson, hairdresser-in-residence of the nearest town.

This extra-large (262x166mm) landscape monochrome sixth volume again comes from Australian Publisher Orin Books and continues the policy of dividing the strips into approximately seasonal sequences, and after a disturbingly anatomical exploratory self-examination by Mr. Ball, a featuring on ‘This Years Docking…’, Dog’s traditionally extraordinary ‘Introduction’ and selection of cartoon “snapshots” from ace photographer Rangi Jones, ‘Spring’ at last busts out all over…

The busiest season of the farmer’s year – apart from the other three – deals with the over-abundance of every unwelcome weed and bush, the shedding of winter coats, the year’s first crop of Dog’s progeny, dopey calves, horny bulls, horny farmers and hairdressers, piglets, chicks and the general proliferation of life in its myriad forms before the long hot ‘Summer’ settles in, bringing fun with bees, the new enterprise of honey-harvesting, eels and how not to catch them, gently cooling typhoon winds, Christmas (Southern Hemisphere, remember?), reminiscences with aging and unwilling stud ram Cecil and particularly instructive incidents with Horse – such as when the mighty moggy catches the biggest bird he’s ever seen and Wal has to pay for a new hang-glider…

‘Autumn’ brings mushrooms, harvests, haymaking and rugby, plus blackberries, a war with goats, stock sales, inconsolable cows and ewes, golf on horseback (one that whinnies not growls) and how not to worm pets whilst ‘Winter’ again offers floods, lambing season plus, mud, footy, and the canine drama of Dog getting ill.

How do they manage without him? They don’t…

Since these cartoons are culled from 1981-1982 there’s also some few Antipodean observations on the Royal Wedding of the other, two-legged, Prince Charles along with casual – and unnerving – nudity, fun with bullocks and a distressingly obvious love-hate relationship brewing between Rangi and Pongo…

Dry, surreal and wonderfully self-deprecating, Footrot Flats always grafted together sarcasm, satire, slapstick and strikingly apt surrealism in a perfect union of pathos and down to earth (and up to your armpits) humour that was and still is utterly addicting, exciting and just plain wonderful.

If you feel the need to fill your lungs with overly fresh air, your boots with squelchiness and commune with the real countryside why not give the Dog a go?
© 1981-1982 Murray Ball. All Rights Reserved.

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The Crazy World of Gardening


By Bill Stott (Exley)
ISBN: 978-1-85015-355-9

As it’s a Bank Holiday here in Britain and probably raining somewhere, I’ve taken the opportunity to re-examine the so-very-English obsession with domestic horticulture through the medium of cartoon books and in particular a collection of dry, droll and often painfully accurate observations by one of my favourite unsung gagsters, Bill Stott.

Another prolific but criminally nigh-forgotten staple of British cartooning, Stott’s manic loose line, stunningly evocative drawing and mordantly acerbic conceptions (which basically boil down to “no matter how strange, if it can happen it will happen to you, but only if somebody is watching…”) were a mainstay of Punch, Private Eye, The Times and many other papers and publications since 1976.

In his other life he was – and still is – a degree-level college painting and drawing tutor. Moreover he’s still in the game – such as it is in these days of magazine and newspaper cartoon paucity – and you can check out his latest stuff or even commission an original simply by visiting billstott.co.uk.

There might even be copies of this superb little rib-tickler on sale there…

British cartooning has been magnificently served over the centuries by masters of form, line, wash and most importantly clever ideas repeatedly poking our funny bones whilst pricking our pomposities and fascinations, and nothing says more about us than our dark compulsion to mow lawns and torture plants in flood or gale or drought and all points between…

Within the pages of the Crazy World of Gardening (released in both English and American editions as a hardcover and paperback) the wise reader will learn the horror and delight of motor mowers, why men and women mustn’t garden together, how every living thing that sprouts or flies or crawls hates and despises humanity, the wit, wisdom and worth of gnomes, anti-slug tactics, how hosepipes are not our friends, the root cause of garden distress, hedge-warfare, the misery of pond-life, greenhouse etiquette and such various and assorted plant lore as will keep the aforementioned wise ones safely inside whilst letting nature and the seasons – such as they now are – just get on with it…

These kinds of cartoon collection are perennial library/charity shop and jumble sale fare and if you ever see a Stott package (others in this particular series include The Crazy World of Cats, Cricket, Hospitals, Housework, Marriage and Rugby) in such a place, do yourself a favour, help out a good cause and have a brilliant laugh with another true master of mirth.
1987 Bill Stott. All rights reserved.

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Footrot Flats book 5


By Murray Ball (Orin Books)
ISSN: 0156-6172

For one of the most successfully syndicated strips in the world, Footrot Flats seems to have passed from public consciousness with painful alacrity. Created in 1975 by cartoonist and comics artist Murray Ball after returning to his New Zealand homeland, the fantastical farm feature ran for a quarter of a century, with the first of a multitude of strip compendia, calendars and special editions released in 1978.

It appeared in newspapers on four continents until 1994 when Ball retired it, citing reasons as varied as the death of his own dog and the state of New Zealand politics.

Thereafter books of new material were released until 2000, resulting in 27 daily strip collections, 8 volumes of Sunday pages known as “Weekenders”, 5 pocket books and ancillary publications such as “school kits” and the aforementioned, all-new, annual calendars.

There was a stage musical, a theme park and a truly superb animated film Footrot Flats: The Dog’s Tail Tale.

The well travelled and extremely gifted Mr. Ball had originally moved to England in the early 1960s, becoming a cartoonist for Punch (producing Stanley the Palaeolithic Hero and All the King’s Comrades) as well as drawing numerous strips for DC Thompson and Fleetway and concocting a regular political satire strip in Labour Weekly.

After marrying he returned to the Old Country and resettled in 1974 – but not to retire…

Ball was busier than ever once he’d bought a small-holding on the North Island to farm in his “spare time”. This inevitably led to the strip under review. Taking the adage “write what you know” to startling and occasionally stomach-churning heights, the peripatetic pencil-pusher promptly gave up sleeping altogether to limn these wickedly funny escapades concerning the highs and lows – and most definitely “wildests” – of the agricultural life as experience by the earthily metaphoric Wallace Footrot Cadwallader: an oaf in search of the plot…

Wal is a big, bluff farmer. He’s a regular bloke: likes his food; loves his sport – Rugby, Football (the Antipodean kind, not the girl’s game the Yanks call Soccer) and Cricket; each in its proper season and at no other time…

He owns a small sheep farm (the eponymous Footrot Flats) best described as “400 acres of swamp between Ureweras and the Sea”.

With his chief – and only – hand Cooch Windgrass (a latter-day Francis of Assisi), and a sheepdog who calls himself “Dog”, Wal scrapes a living – and one too many bolshie beasts – but is, at least, his own boss.

Dog is the star (and narrator) of the strip: a cool, if imaginative and overly sentimental know-all and blowhard, utterly devoted to his, for want of a better term, Master – unless there’s food about, or Jess (the sheepdog bitch from down the road) is in heat again.

Dry, surreal and wonderfully self-deprecating, the humour comes from the perfectly realised characters, human and otherwise, the tough life of a bachelor farmer and especially the country itself.

Other notable regular’s include Wal’s fierce and prickly little niece Janice – known to all as Pongo, the sternly staunch and starched Dolores Monrovia Godwit Footrot, AKA Aunt Dolly, wise guy local lad Rangi Wiremu Waka Jones, Dolly’s spoiled Corgi Prince Charles, and Pew, a sadistic, inventive, obsessed and vengeful magpie who bears an unremitting grudge against Farmer Cadwallader …

The biggest and most terrifying scene-stealer is Horse, a monstrous and invulnerable tomcat who lords it over every living thing in the district …

The comedy is as always, absolutely top-rate and Ball is one of those gifted few who can actually imbue a few lines on paper with the power of Shakespeare’s tragedy and the manic hilarity of manic geniuses like the Marx Brothers or Laurel and Hardy. When combined with his sharp, incisive writing the result is pure irresistible magic.

In the UK Titan Books published three volumes in the early 1990s and foreign editions were released in German, Japanese, Chinese and American, but the same material is readily available from a number of publishers and retailers; here more than ever the internet is your friend.

The dry dramas and funny old businesses generally accrue via the laconic raconteuring of “The Dog”, a great lazy canine softie, eking out his daily crusts (and oysters and biscuits and cake and lamb’s tails and scraps and chips and…), alternately getting on with or annoying the sheep, cows, bull, goat, hogs, ducks, bugs, cats, horses, geese, all the resolutely undomesticated wildlife and the decidedly odd humans his owner knows or is related to.

Dog – his given name is an embarrassing, closely and violently guarded secret – loves Wal but always tries to thwart him if the big bloke is trying to do unnecessarily necessary farm chores such as chopping down trees, burning out patches of scrub, culling livestock, or trying to mate with the pooch’s main rival Darlene “Cheeky” Hobson, hairdresser-in-residence of the nearest town.

This extra-large (262x166mm) landscape monochrome fifth volume again comes from the Australian editions series and started the tradition of dividing the strips into approximately seasonal sequences, as well as beginning to show another near unique facet of the series with the ever-expanding cast visibly aging in what approximates real-time in the world of periodical publishing.

After a rather reluctant biography from the artist’s then teenaged son Mason, an appreciation from the canine star’s occasional paramour Jess the sheep-bitch and an introduction from The Dog himself, a selection of spot gags and cartoons describing anti-Cheeky tactics precedes the strip sensations of ‘Spring’ as Wal and the Dog prepare for the grimy, smelly profusion of life which follows the far from gentle rainy season.

When not living in terror of the farm cat Horse, teasing the corpulent Corgi Prince Charles or dreading the competition with noble hunting hound Major, the Dog runs continually afoul of the deer which infest the spread. A hilarious sequence of the humans trying to take Horse to the Vet easily segues into a plethora of close encounters as the livestock all experience the stirrings of love in their prodigious loins…

With ‘Summer’ comes cricket, baby animals, sea fishing, and Pongo for the school holidays: all offering new ways to add to Wal’s blood pressure and Dog’s embarrassment. This year’s particular novelties include water shortages, hang-gliding and using a helicopter to herd deer – and why that’s such a good idea…

‘Autumn’ brings harvests and rugby and more rain and sheep well into the pregnancies that make Wal’s life so rewarding (yeah, more sarcasm, mate) whilst ‘Winter’ offers floods, lambing season – always at night and always in rain or snow – plus, mud, footy, mud, river-fishing for whitebait and mud, although this year the old oaf does try his hefty hand at golf and gets talked into coaching the school rugby team with results any idiot could predict; especially as The Dog is on the team too…

Footrot Flats, whether singly or in collections such as this, always marries sarcasm, satire, slapstick and surreality in a perfect union of pathos and down to earth (and up to your elbows) humour that is utterly captivating; expansive, efficient, exciting and just plain brilliant.

If you feel the need to fill your lungs with country air, your boots with squelchiness and your brain with breathtaking belly-laughs why not give the Dog a go? Let your preferred search engine be your guide…

Go on. Fetch!
© 1981 Murray Ball. All Rights Reserved.

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The Desert Peach volume 6: Marriage & Mayhem


By Donna Barr (Aeon)
ISBN: 1-883847-07-9

The Desert Peach is the supremely self-assured and eminently efficient gay brother of the legendary German soldier hailed as “the Desert Fox”. Set in World War II Africa and effortlessly combining hilarity, absurdity, profound sensitivity and glittering spontaneity, the stories describe the trials and tribulations of Oberst Manfred Pfirsich Marie Rommel; a dutiful if unwilling cog in the German War Machine, yet one determined to remain a civilised gentleman under the most adverse and unkind conditions.

However, although as formidable as his beloved elder sibling, the gracious and genteel Peach is a man who loathes causing harm or giving offence and thus spends his service commanding the dregs of the military in the ghastly misshapes of the 469th Halftrack, Gravedigging & Support Unit of the Afrika Korps, daily endeavouring to remain stylish, elegant, civil and gracious to the assorted waifs, wastrels and warriors on both sides of the unfortunate global conflict.

It’s a thankless, endless task: the 469th houses the worst the Wehrmacht has ever conscripted, from malingerers and malcontents to useless wounded, shiftless conmen, screw-ups and outright maniacs.

Pfirsich unilaterally applies the same decorous courtesies to the sundry natives inhabiting the area and the rather tiresome British and Anzac forces – not all of whom are party to a clandestine non-aggression pact Pfirsich has agreed with his opposite numbers in the amassed Allied Forces. In fact the only people to truly annoy the peace-loving Peach are boors, bigots, bullies and card-carrying Blackshirts…

The romantic fool is also passionately in love with and engaged to Rosen Kavalier: handsome Aryan warrior and wildly manly Luftwaffe Ace…

Arguably the real star of these fabulous frothy epics is the Peach’s long-suffering, unkempt, crafty, ill-mannered, bilious and lazily scrofulous orderly Udo Schmidt, a man of many secrets whose one redeeming virtue is his uncompromising loyalty and devotion to the only decent man and tolerable officer in the entire German army.

This tragically rare sixth softcover collection reprints issues #16, 17 and 19 (#18 being a reproduction of the innovative Musical Program which accompanied the stage show: to see that check out The Desert Peach Webcomic or http://www.desert-peach.com/comic/DP18.pdf) and starts with an enchanting comic introduction from the captivatingly clever Mike Kazaleh before ‘Flight of the Phoenix’ opens the comedic assault. Even though ill-bred rogue Udo’s impending wedding to Tuareg princess Falila has been apparently side-lined, a spoil of that outrageous betrothal – a magnificent Arabian war-mare named Phoenix – is still causing trouble for Pfirsich, who is her nominal owner.

The steed is wild and utterly untrained, constantly causing trouble for the decidedly neat and tidy Peach and especially Sergeant Mögen and Lieutenant Hecht, who are responsible for her care…

When scattered tribesmen convene a colossal horse-fair on the camp’s doorstep, the problems magnify exponentially: not only was Phoenix stolen, but she comes from legendarily purebred lines and unless the Peach can arrange an honourable and fitting stud for her it might result in a native uprising…

Now all he has to do is select the right one out of the hundreds of willing stallions and touchy, eager Arab owners, but as usual the soldiery have the own ideas on the perfect partner, all filtered through personal prejudices and ideological bigotry…

So when Udo attempts to settle the quandary one dark night by taking Phoenix to his own preferred favourite, all hell naturally breaks loose as the skittish steed rampages through camp before making her own choice… When the valiant Rosen and sundry soldiers try to catch her, Udo then ends up trapped between the ever-so-keen equine bride and her equally impatient suitors, and taken for a ride he’ll never forget…

As a consequence of the riot Udo is held responsible for the accidental gelding of a stallion and as an outlander faces death or worse – until somebody suggests that if he were actually married to his desert princess he’d be a tribesman and allowed to buy his way out of trouble…

This is followed by ‘Culture Shock’ as fanatical political officer Winzig works himself into a tizzy about the upcoming miscegenation nuptials and reveals a long-hidden shameful secret: he is a musical prodigy whose piano playing could make Devils weep and Angel dance with delight. Most appalling of all is his facility for jazz – a form of music the Nazis have declared “sub-human”…

His secret out, Winzig is easily cajoled by Pfirsich into playing at the up-coming wedding, but other problems are surfacing. The rumours that Udo is Jewish are circulating again (they’re all true but were scotched by the Desert Peach in book 5: Belief Systems) but when the coordinating commanders of both Tuareg and German parties are trying to sort out the form of service, the panicking and reluctant groom sees a get-out-of-jail-free card – whatever ceremony is performed, it won’t be binding…

Udo had been griping and trying to weasel his way out of his impending, unwanted but necessarily pragmatic wedding from the start. The swarthy little scoundrel wanted sex not commitment, and now only the threat of agonising dismemberment is making Schmidt nee Isador Gülphstein  honour his word and live up to his responsibilities…

That is of course until the poor shmuck catches sight of Falila in all her wedding finery…

After a chaotic, joyous and hilarious wedding and reception in the local bordello everything seems to have worked out until the bride’s father hears a certain tale that his new son-in-law is a Hebrew…

Using humour to devastating effect, the author manipulates the crisis to make a few telling points about religion and prejudice and, with order restored, this volume then concludes with the utterly manic and earthily scatological ‘Self-Propelled Target’ as some of the weary and jaded grave-digging unit play with wrong cadaver and both Winzig and Pfirsich accidentally ingest organic matter from a rotting – and exploding – corpse. With Pfirsich revoltingly hors-de-combat the men of the469th declare open war on the hated political martinet they call the “Human Swastika”…

With the Peach incontinent and incommunicado the battle of nerves and dogma rapidly escalates to terrifying heights and when the recuperating Peach almost loses his life in one of the malicious pranks, Udo at last steps in to settle things with disastrous and disgusting consequences…

Treading in the same the same anti-war trench as Three Kings, Hogan’s Heroes, Oh, What a Lovely War! and Catch 22, these Desert Peach adventures are always bawdy, raucous, satirical, authentically madcap and immensely engaging; this time though they’re also painfully romantic, revoltingly near-the-knuckle and intoxicatingly subversive.

These gloriously baroque yarns were some of the very best comics of the 1990s and still pack a shattering comedic kick, liberally leavened with situational jocularity, accent humour and lots of footnoted Deutsche cuss-words for the kids to learn. Moreover, with this volume the potential of the minor supporting characters is at last fully realised with The Peach often relegated to a minor or supervisory role.

This captivating excursion is also capped off with many magical extras: hilarious marginal illustrations and more cut-out paper-dolls and extra outfits for you to admire and play with: this time featuring the wardrobe of Udo and the log-suffering Winzig.

The Desert Peach ran for 32 intermittent issues via a number of publishers and was subsequently collected as eight graphic novel collections (1988-2005). A prose novel, Bread and Swans, a musical, and an invitational collection by other artists entitled Ersatz Peach were also created during the strip’s heyday. A larger compendium, Seven Peaches, collected issues #1-7 and Pfirsich’s further exploits continue as part of the Modern Tales webcomics collective…

Illustrated in Barr’s fluidly seductive wood-cut and loose-line style, this book is another must-have item for lovers of wit, slapstick, high drama and belly-laughs and grown-up comics in general. All the collections are pretty hard to find these days but if you have a Kindle, Robot Comics have started releasing individual comicbook issues, and for anybody with internet access and mature tastes as mentioned above there’s always The Desert Peach webcomic to fall back on…
© 1992-1994 Donna Barr. Introduction © 1994 Mike Kazaleh. All rights reserved. The Desert Peach is ™ Donna Barr.

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Showcase Presents House of Secrets volume 2


By many and various (DC Comics)
ISBN: 978-1-84856-472-5

With superheroes on the decline again in the early 1970s, four of the six surviving newsstand comicbook companies (Archie, Charlton, DC, Gold Key, Harvey and Marvel) relied increasingly on horror and suspense anthologies to bolster their flagging sales. Even wholesome Archie briefly produced Red Circle Sorcery/Chillers comics and their teen-comedy core moved gently into tales of witchcraft, mystery and imagination.

DC’s first generation of mystery titles had followed the end of the first Heroic Age when most of the publishers of the era began releasing crime, romance and horror genre anthologies to recapture the older readership which was drifting away to other mass-market entertainments like television and the movies.

As National Comics in 1951, the company bowed to the inevitable and launched a comparatively straight-laced anthology – which nevertheless became one of their longest-running and most influential titles – with the December 1951/January 1952 launch of The House of Mystery.

When a hysterical censorship scandal led to witch-hunting hearings attacking comicbooks and newspaper strips (feel free to type Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency, April-June 1954 into your search engine at any time) the industry panicked, adopting a castrating straitjacket of stringent self-regulatory rules and admonitions.

Even though mystery titles produced under the aegis of the Comics Code Authority were sanitised and anodyne affairs in terms of Shock and Gore, the appetite for suspense was still high, and in 1956 National introduced the sister title House of Secrets which debuted with a November-December cover-date.

Supernatural thrillers and monster stories were dialled back into marvellously illustrated genteel, rationalistic, fantasy-adventure vehicles which nonetheless dominated the market until the 1960s when the super-hero (which had begun a renaissance after Julius Schwartz reintroduced the Flash in Showcase #4, 1956) finally overtook them. Green Lantern, Hawkman, the Atom and a host of other costumed cavorters generated a gaudy global bubble of masked myrmidons which even forced the dedicated anthology suspense titles to transform into super-character split-books with Martian Manhunter and Dial H for Hero in House of Mystery and Mark Merlin – later Prince Ra-Man – sharing space with anti-hero Eclipso in House of Secrets.

When the caped crusader craziness peaked and popped, Secrets was one of the first casualties and the title folded with the September-October 1966 issue.

However nothing combats censorship better than falling profits and at the end of the 1960s the Silver Age superhero boom busted again, with many titles gone and some of the industry’s most prestigious series circling the drain too…

This real-world Crisis led to the surviving publishers of the field agreeing to loosen their self-imposed restraints against crime and horror comics. Nobody much cared about gangster titles at the time but as the liberalisation coincided with another bump in public interest in all aspects of the Great Unknown, the resurrection of scary stories was a foregone conclusion and obvious “no-brainer.”

Thus with absolutely no fanfare at all House of Secrets rose again with issue #81, (cover-dated August-September 1969) just as big sister House of Mystery had done a year earlier.

Under a spooky bold banner declaiming “There’s No Escape From… The House of Secrets”, creators veteran and neophyte churned out a massive deluge of spooky, creepy, wryly tongue-in-cheek and scary tales, all introduced by the innocuous and timid Abel; caretaker of a  ramshackle, sentient old pile temporarily located somewhere in the Dark Heart of the USA…

This second enthralling and economical monochrome Showcase compendium collects the chilling contents of issues #99-119, spanning August 1972 – September 1973, and also features a stellar selection of covers from artists Michael Kaluta, Bernie Wrightson, Nick Cardy, Jack Sparling and Luis Dominguez.

‘Welcome to the House of Secrets’ by E. Nelson Bridwell & Wrightson began another pensive package of terrors after which ‘Beyond His Imagination’ by Bill Meredith & Nestor Redondo saw a comicbook artist travel to the other side of death in search of inspiration, after which ‘Beat the Devil’ (Jack Oleck, Jack Katz & Tony DeZuniga) dealt with a religious thief who repented too late before ‘Goodbye, Nancy’ by John Albano, Vic Catan, Frank Redondo & Abe Ocampo saw a lonely child go to lethal lengths in her attempts to find a playmate…

A huge boost to the battered American industry at his time was the mass hiring of a flight of top Filipino artists whose stylish realism, experience in many genres and incredible work ethic made them an invaluable and highly influential factor of the horror boom. This collection especially is positively brimming with their superb illustrative excellence.

First in issue #100 however is ‘Round-Trip Ticket’ by Lore Shoberg & Tom Palmer, wherein a hippy truth-seeker learns a little more about alternate lifestyles than he bargained for. These comics chillers were frequently leavened by the mordant and wordless cartoon gags of the legendary Sergio Aragonés, who here contributes a trio of gems starring ‘Cain & Abel’ before Oleck, Mike Sekowsky & Dezuniga reveal the fate of an escaped convict who briefly became ‘The Man Who Stopped Time!’ After a page of ‘Abel’s Fables’ cartoons by Shoberg, Oleck & Alfredo Alcala brought the issue to a close with the dark period Voodoo yarn ‘Rest in Peace’…

Clever science fiction courtesy of Sheldon Mayer & Alex Niño opened #101 as ‘Small Invasion’ told a tale of love, double-cross and vengeance when an alien infiltrator discovers true romance whilst preparing to destroy humanity, after which ‘The Sacrifice’ (Oleck & June Lofamia) pitted Witch against Warlock in a game as old as time… Aragonés’ ‘Cain & Abel’ page then precedes ‘Hiding Place’ by Raymond Marais & Ruben Yandoc, with a murderous gangster picking the wrong home to invade after which an ‘Abel’s Fables’ page by Shoberg brings the issue to a close.

‘Make a Wish’ by Oleck & E.R. Cruz, led in #102 as a troubled boy periodically escapes the real world – until well-meaning adults take him in hand, whilst ‘The Loser’ (Oleck, Quico Redondo & Ocampo) details a hen-pecked husband who can’t even get his revenge right, and bracketed between a brace of Aragonés’ ‘Abel’s Fables’ Albano & Nestor Redondo shone with the salutary romantic chiller starring ‘A Lonely Monstrosity’…

House of Secrets #103 began with a tale on con men and time travel in ‘Waiting… Waiting… Waiting’ by Mayer & Rico Rival, whilst ‘No Bed of Roses’ (Albano & Sparling) told a unique tale of reincarnation and revenge, before a post-apocalyptic revelation proved that man could never change in ‘The Village on the Edge of Forever’ by Steve Skeates & Niño, before Aragonés wrapped another issue with one of his ‘Cain & Abel’ pages.

In #104 ‘Ghosts Don’t Bother Me… But…’ by Mayer & Nestor & Virgilio Redondo told the sorry story of a hitman who found that his victims didn’t always rest in peace, whilst ‘The Dead Man’s Doll’, by Bill Riley & Alcala and book-ended by two ‘Abel’s Fables’ by Aragonés and Albano, saw a beloved puppet take vengeance for his owner when the frail fellow was murdered by his uncaring carers, whilst ‘Lend Me an Ear!’ by Oleck & George Tuska, saw merciless college pranksters hoisted on their own petard after playing in a morgue…

Issue #105 featured ‘Vampire’ an effective game of Ten Little Indians played out in an old Nevada mine by Maxene Fabe & Gerry Taloac, the gloriously dry ‘Coming Together!’ (Skeates & Jim Aparo) which showed that courage wasn’t everything when demons invaded a small town, and a great old-fashioned murdered man’s revenge yarn in ‘An Axe to Grind’ by Skeates & Alcala, whilst #106, after a magical ‘Welcome to the House of Secrets’ by E. Nelson Bridwell & Wrightson, opened with ‘The Curse of Harappa’ (Fabe & Yandoc) as a man dedicated to wiping out superstition found it wasn’t all nonsense, after which ‘The Island of No Return’ by Albano & Niño displayed the epitome of monstrous abiding terror, and Oleck and Alcala closed the show with a turn-of-the-century joker getting his just desserts in ‘This Will Kill You’.

In #107 Alcala illustrated Oleck’s ‘Skin Deep’ a dark tale of magic masks and ugly people in New Orleans and, after an Aragonés ‘Cain & Abel’, Arnold Drake’s hilarious hen-pecked howler ‘The Night of the Nebish!’ before ‘Winner Take All’ by Skeates & Bernard Baily restores some lethal gravitas to the proceedings when a greedy tramp learns too late the life-lesson of when to let go…

In #108 ‘Act III Eternity’ by George Kashdan & Jess Jodloman describes how a washed up thespian unsuspectingly took method acting to unfortunate extremes whilst ‘A New Kid on the Block’ (Fabe & Rival) found a new wrinkle in the hoary legend of revivified mummies and ‘The Ghost-Writer’ by Riley & Taloac saw a dissolute author finally pay for taking undeserved credit during his successful career. This issue also featured two more bleak and black ‘Abel’s Fables’ by Aragonés,

HoS #109 held two longer tales; ‘Museum of Nightmares’ by Michael Pellowsky, Fabe & Alcala, in which animated waxworks haunted the last case of a great detective whilst in ‘…And in Death there is No Escape!’, (Albano & Niño) a callous bluebeard and actor of towering ego at last regretted the many sins that had led him to physical immortality and infamous renown. Issue #110 opened with an entertaining vampire tale in ‘Domain of the Dead’ by Oleck & Fred Carrillo, continued with supernatural murder-mystery ‘Safes Have Secrets Too’ by Pellowsky, Fabe & Flor Dery and finished on a beguiling high note with Oleck & Taloac’s ‘Possessed’ as a simple farmer searched in all the wrong places for a deadly witch…

Gerard Conway & Dezuniga provided a haunting tale of lonely lighthouses and other worlds in #111’s ‘A Watchtower in the Dark’, after which ‘Hair-I-Kari’ by Fabe & Romy Gamboa told a sordid tale of a magic baldness cure and Michael Fleisher & Taloac recounted a bold adventurer’s quest to defeat death in ‘The Land Beyond the Styx!’

In #112 ‘The Witch Doctor’s Magic Cloak’ by Fleisher & Rudy Nebres explored the grotesque consequences of alternative medicine and limb regeneration, after which Conway & Luis Dominguez pastiched Sherlock Holmes to great effect in ‘The Case of the Demon Spawn!’ whilst #113 opened with an all-out monster mash in the delightfully dark ‘Not So Loud – I’m Blind!’ by Doug Moench, Nick Cardy & Mike Sekowsky and after another Aragonés ‘Abel’s Fables’ Oleck & Nestor Redondo unleashed a truly nasty tale of child vampires in ‘Spawns of Satan’ …

HoS# 114 led with Fleisher & Frank Bolle’s ‘Night Game’ – a chilling sports-story of corruption in hockey and murder on ice – and close with the same writer’s ‘The Demon and the Rock Star!’, concerning one Hell of a comeback tour and illustrated by Talaoc, whilst #115 featured ‘Nobody Hurts my Brother!’ by Drake & Alcala: a tale of once-conjoined twins who shared each others hurts but not morals, after which ‘Remembered Dead’ (Kashdan & Niño) dealt with a wax museum guard’s unhealthy attachment to one of the exhibits, and ‘Every Man my Killer!’ by Kashdan and Nardo & E.R. Cruz, followed a tormented soul the entire world wanted dead…

‘Like Father, Like Son’ by Oleck & Nestor Redondo in #116 followed the rise and fall of a 18th century peasant who sold more than his soul for wealth, love and power, and ‘Puglyon’s Crypt’ by David Michelinie & Ramona Fradon explored with delicious vivacity the obsession of a man determined never to suffer premature burial…

House of Secrets #117 opened with a tale of medieval feuds and bloody vendettas that inevitably led to ‘An Eye for an Eye’ (Oleck & Ernie Chan), whilst ‘Don’t Cry for Uncle Malcolm’ Gerry Boudreau & Niño provided a phantasmagorical glimpse at the power of modern Voodoo, after which another couple of Aragonés ‘Abel’s Fables’ bracket a wickedly ironic vignette entitled ‘Revenge For the Deadly Dummy!’ by Skeates Alcala.

The sinister magic of Hollywood informs the chilling delayed vengeance saga ‘The Very Last Picture Show’ by Fleisher & George Evans which opens #118, after which a ghostly  ‘Turnabout’ (Skeates & Quico Redondo) proves too much for a cunning murderess, and Oleck & Fradon display a different look at leprechauns in ‘Nasty Little Man’…

This compendium concludes with issue #119 and ‘A Carnival of Dwarfs’ by Fleisher & Arthur Suydam, wherein an unscrupulous showbiz impresario comes between a gentle old man and his diminutive friends, and wedged between two last ‘Cain & Abel’ pages by Aragonés, Pellowsky, Kashdan & Alcala proved that primitive people are anything but when a callous anthropologist provided an ‘Imitation Monster!’ for an isolated tribe and lived to regret his foolishness…

If you crave witty, beautifully realised, tastefully splatter-free sagas of tension and imagination, not to mention a huge supply of bad-taste, kid-friendly cartoon chills, book your return to the House of Secrets as soon as you possibly can…
© 1972, 1973, 1974, 2009 DC Comics. All Rights Reserved.

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Asterix and the Soothsayer, Asterix in Corsica & Asterix and Caesar’s Gift


By Goscinny & Uderzo, translated by Anthea Bell & Derek Hockridge (Orion Books)
ISBNs: 978-075286-628-4, 978-0-75286-630-7 and 978-0-75286-632-1

One of the most popular comics features on Earth, the collected chronicles of Asterix the Gaul have been translated into more than 100 languages since his debut in 1959, with animated and live-action movies, TV series, assorted games, toys and even a theme park outside Paris (Parc Astérix, unsurprisingly…) all stemming from his glorious exploits.

More than 325 million copies of 34 Asterix books have sold worldwide, making his joint creators France’s bestselling international authors.

The diminutive, doughty, potion-powered paragon of Gallic Pride was created by two of the industry’s greatest masters, René Goscinny & Albert Uderzo. Although their inspirational collaborations ended in 1977 with the death of the prolific scripter, the creative wonderment continued until relatively recently from Uderzo and assistants – albeit at a slightly reduced rate.

The wonderment works on multiple levels: ostensibly, younger readers revel in the action-packed, lavishly illustrated comedic romps where sneaky, bullying baddies get their just deserts, whilst we more worldly readers enthuse over the dry, pun-filled, sly satire, especially as enhanced for English speakers by the brilliantly light touch of translators Anthea Bell & Derek Hockridge, who played no small part in making the indomitable Gaul and his gallant companions so palatable to the Anglo-Saxon world. (Moi, I still rejoice in a perfectly produced “Paf!” to the snoot as much as any painfully potent procession of puns or sardonic satirical sideswipe…)

The stories were set on Uderzo’s beloved Brittany coast, where a small village of warriors and their families resisted every effort of the Roman Empire to complete the conquest of Gaul, or alternately, anywhere in the Ancient World, circa 50BC, as the Gallic Gentlemen visited the fantastic lands and civilisations of the era…

When the heroes were playing at home, the Romans, unable to defeat this last bastion of Gallic insouciance, resorted to a policy of containment. Thus the little seaside hamlet is permanently hemmed in by the heavily fortified garrisons of Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.

The Gauls don’t care: they daily defy the world’s greatest military machine simply by going about their everyday affairs, protected by the magic potion of resident druid Getafix and the shrewd wits of the rather diminutive dynamo and his simplistic, supercharged best friend…

Firmly established as a global brand and premium French export by the mid-1960s, Asterix the Gaul continued to grow in quality as Goscinny & Uderzo toiled ever onward, crafting further fabulous sagas; building a stunning legacy of graphic excellence and storytelling gold. Moreover, following the civil unrest and nigh-revolution in French society following the Paris riots of 1968, the tales began to increasingly show signs of trenchant satire and more directed social commentary…

Asterix and the Soothsayer was the 19th serialised epic, originally running in Pilote #652-673 throughout 1972, first translated into an English album in 1975, and begins ominously whilst the village’s venerable mystic protector Getafix is away at his annual Druiding conference. During a torrential storm nefarious Soothsayer named Prolix turns up seeking shelter. His dark predictions instantly spread disharmony amongst the hospitable, hot-headed, painfully superstitious and credulous Gaulish stalwarts… except for level headed and canny little Asterix.

As Prolix leaves the Chief’s wife Impedimenta sneaks after him, keen on a personal prediction and the crafty charlatan soon discovers he’s on to a good thing and profitably cushy number…

Before long the entire village is under the soothsayer’s grimy thumb, but when he vanishes the ladies of the village accuse Asterix of driving him off.

In actuality the unsavoury sage has been arrested by the Romans who have standing orders to deal harshly with all non-Roman prognosticators and troublemakers. The wily Prolix barters for his life with Centurion Arteriosclerosus, who sees a way to end his Indomitable Gaul problems by using the obviously fraudulent fortune-teller as a wedge to drive out the obstreperous resistors…

Prolix returns to the village and utters a doom-laden pronouncement: the place has been cursed by the Gods and a pestilential stench will precede plague. Inevitable death will be their fate if they remain…

Panicked, the gullible Gauls head for the beach and take refuge on an off-shore island – all that is, except for Asterix, Obelix and chivalrous canine companion Dogmatix…

With the Romans at last in possession of the village – and all Gaul finally conquered – the bold last rebels make their plans until Getafix returns. On his arrival the three men and a dog embark on an elaborate scheme to take back their home and teach their foolish fellows a much needed lesson.

Concocting a stunningly malodorous vapour which drives the occupiers from the village, the druid convinces the Romans that Prolix is a real soothsayer and ambitious Arteriosclerosus sees a chance to become the next Caesar. Even baffled conman Prolix begins to believe his predictions are real…

After dressing down the refugee Gauls, Getafix leads them back to their beloved homes where the incensed and wiser villagers top up on magic potion and rush off to teach the invaders – and Prolix – a much needed lesson. On this occasion, Impedimenta and the village women accompany their men, determined to expiate their embarrassing gullibility with a little cathartic violence of their own…

This delightfully arch and acerbic attack on gullibility and superstition is a splendid chance to see the minor characters play to their strengths and weaknesses with Asterix and Obelix almost relegated to walk-on parts…

First translated two years earlier in England but chronologically following on from The Soothsayer in the original French serialisations Asterix in Corsica (Pilote #687-708, in 1973) was the 20th adventure and the best-selling French language album of the series.

Another globe-trotting yarn, it begins with the Romans of the four occupying garrisons “deploying for manoeuvres” to avoid having to deal with Gauls’ painfully exuberant celebration of the anniversary of the Battle of Gergovia. Unfortunately for Centurion Hippotamus and his men they are delayed by the arrival of a party from Praetor Perfidius, Governor of Corsica, escorting a dangerous prisoner into exile. They are still in Totorum when the high-spirited villagers (and many guest-star friends from previous adventures) arrive keen for a punch-up and a little annoyed that all the other Roman camps are deserted…

When the dust settles and the groans of pain subside, Asterix discovers the prisoner Boneywasawarriorwayayix and invites him back to the village for a slap-up feed. Over boar and beer the Gauls hear how Perfidius had the popular Corsican leader exiled to prevent him revealing how the Praetor has been over-taxing the people and embezzling the gold for himself instead of sending to Caesar in Rome. Corsica is officially the most troublesome spot in the Empire and the exile is determined to return and expose the hated Governor, so the proud and haughty Boneywasawarriorwayayix is delighted when Asterix and Obelix – with the faithful Dogmatix – determine to help him sneak back to his fiercely over-fortified and contained island (most volumes of this album have a map of Corsica instead of the traditional Gaulish village, and the tiny nation contains four towns and forty-six Roman camps)…

Hilariously obtaining passage on the pirate ship of Redbeard the voyagers soon find themselves on the island – but not unnoticed…

Soon the dissolute and lazy soldiery are hunting the heroes as they make their way inland to the exile’s home village to rally the populace whilst in the city of Aleria Perfidius suspects the jig is up and prepares to flee with his ill-gotten gains…

Trying to rally the natives Boneywasawarriorwayayix comes up against the age-old dilemma: most Corsicans are involved in centuries long vendettas and would much rather fight each other – at least when they’re not taking a siesta – than unite to attack the invaders. However at last, a determined band of warriors marches on Aleria but almost too late. Perfidius has been secretly loading his loot onto a ship but when his soldiers discover it they realise their leader is planning to abandon then to the fierce and furious Corsicans – at least if diplomatic Asterix can manage to stop the natives killing each other first…

Asterix travel epics are always packed with captivating historical titbits, soupcons of healthy cynicism, singularly surreal situations and amazingly addictive but generally consequence-free action, always illustrated in a magically enticing manner.

Stuffed with sly pokes and good-natured trans-national teasing of perceived nationalist characteristics and celebrating the terrifying power of Corsican cheeses and liberally served up with raucous hi-jinks and fast-paced action, this is another magical titbit of all-ages entertainment.

In 1974 Asterix and Caesar’s Gift was the first tale to be published as a complete album before being serialised, with a British translation appearing in 1977. It begins in Rome where two 20-year veteran legionaries drunkenly celebrate being honourably discharged. Tremensdelirious and Egganlettus eagerly look forward to being given their service reward: a parcel of land each.

Unfortunately Tremensdelirious is overheard disparaging Caesar but the sardonically cruel leader does not punish the old soldier or even withhold his pension. In fact he gives Tremensdelirious a lovely portion of the Gaulish coast in Armorica: all he has to do is shift a few recalcitrant Gauls from their village on his new small holding…

A drunk but not a fool the old soldier knows his fate is sealed and soon trades his dispensation to Lutetian inn-keeper Orthopaedix to settle his bar-bill…

The first that the Indomitable Gauls know of this is when Orthopaedix, his wife Angina and daughter Influenza roll up in their cart and try to take possession. After some hilarity the villagers go back about their business and the inn-keeper is left to suffer the fury of his wife at the uprooting of the family to a barbaric hovel where nobody acknowledges their claim.

No stranger to such a tongue-lashing, Chief Vitalstatistix takes pity on Orthopaedix and offers to let them stay and open an inn in the hamlet, but the standoffish villagers are angered by Angina’s superior airs and a riot breaks out on opening night…

The world-weary publican is ready to quit but now the humiliated Angina is in a status duel with Impedimenta and, determined to stay, makes Orthopaedix challenge Vitalstatistix for the post of village Chief. As the campaign to win the support of the always argumentative villagers intensifies, all manner of shoddy tactics, dubious lobbying and outright bribery takes place with each party frantically trying to curry political favour from the fickle but extremely astute potential voters who know the value of their own support…

Simple, gentle oafish Obelix has fallen under the spell of the lovely Influenza, who leads him on cruelly to help out her mother’s naked ambition, leading to fight with his best friend. Only Asterix seems aware that the discord could well be the death of the village and lead to Caesar’s ultimate triumph and soon the waters are further muddied when elderly Lothario Geriatrix declares himself a third party and splits the potential vote even further.

The political crisis reaches boiling point when Tremensdelirious turns up and demands his land-grant back: after all it’s illegal to sell them to Gauls, and Orthopaedix has no say in the matter…

When the ex-legionary turns violent Asterix steps in to save the day and the old sot is driven off at sword-point. He doesn’t go far – only to the garrison of Laudanum where old comrade Egganlettus has re-enlisted – and together they blackmail Centurion Tonsillitus into attacking the Gauls to uphold Roman law and get back that “official” pension land which is every soldier’s right…

That kind of military intervention usually ends disastrously, but this time the village is hopelessly divided by political intrigue and backstabbing and even Asterix cannot unite them against their real and common foe. It seems that the Gauls must lose everything until Orthopaedix makes a supreme sacrifice to save the day…

Brittle, barbed and devilishly sharp, this outrageous political thriller and satire on modern electioneering is as pertinent and punchy as it ever was, proving once again that these Gallic graphic masterpieces are perfect comics which everyone should read over and over again.
© 1972-1974 Goscinny/Uderzo. Revised English translation © 2004 Hachette. All rights reserved.

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Footrot Flats book 4


By Murray Ball (Orin Books)
ISSN: 0156-6172

You may or may not have heard of Footrot Flats. For one of the most successfully syndicated strips in the world, it seems to have passed from memory with staggering rapidity. Created by Murray Ball on his return to his homeland of New Zealand, it ran from 1975 to 1994, with the first strip compendium released in 1978.

The feature ran in newspapers on four continents until 1994 when Ball retired it, citing reasons as varied as the death of his own dog and the state of New Zealand politics. Thereafter books of new material were released until 2000, resulting in 27 daily strip collections, 8 volumes of Sunday pages known as “Weekenders”, and 5 pocket books, plus ancillary publications such as “school kit”. There was a stage musical, a theme park and a truly superb animated film Footrot Flats: The Dog’s Tail Tale.

The well travelled and extremely gifted Mr. Ball had moved to England in the early 1960s, becoming a cartoonist for Punch as well as drawing strips for DC Thompson and Fleetway and producing a regular strip in Labour Weekly. After marrying he returned to the Old Country and resettled in 1974 – but not to retire.

Ball was busier than ever after he bought a small-holding on the North Island and farmed in his spare time (for anyone not brought up in the countryside that last bit was called “Sarcasm”). This inevitably led to the strip under review. Taking the adage “write what you know” to startling heights, the peripatetic artist promptly gave up sleeping altogether to craft these wickedly funny episodes about the highs and lows and especially “weirds” of the agricultural life as experience by the earthily metaphoric Wallace Footrot Cadwallader: one oaf and his dog.

Wal is a big, bluff farmer. He’s a regular bloke, likes his food; loves his sport – Rugby, Football and Cricket; each in its proper season. He owns a small sheep farm (the eponymous Footrot Flats) best described as “400 acres of swamp between Ureweras and the Sea”.

With his chief – and only – hand Cooch Windgrass (a latter-day Francis of Assisi), and a sheepdog who calls himself “Dog” Wal makes a living and is his own boss. Dog is the star (and narrator) of most of the strips: a cool know-all and blowhard, he’s utterly devoted to his, for want of a better term, Master – unless there’s food about or Jess (the sheepdog bitch from down the road) is in heat again.

Dry, surreal and wonderfully self-deprecating, the humour comes from the perfectly realised characters, human and otherwise, the tough life of a bachelor farmer and especially the country itself.

The cartooning is absolutely top-rate. Ball is one of those gifted few who can actually draw funnily. When combined with his sharp, incisive writing the result is pure magic. In the UK Titan Books published three volumes in the early 1990s and foreign editions have been released in German, Japanese, Chinese and American, but the same material is readily available from a number of publishers and retailers; here more than ever the internet is your friend.

The dry dramas and funny old businesses generally unfold as big lazy softie Dog, eking out his daily crusts (and oysters and biscuits and cake and sheep tails and scraps and chips and…) interacts with the sheep, cows, a bull, goats, hogs, ducks, bugs, cats, horses, geese and the occasional visiting relative) just trying to get by. He loves Wal but will always try to thwart him if the big bloke is trying to do unnecessarily necessary chores such as chopping down trees, culling livestock, or trying to mate with the pooch’s main rival Darlene “Cheeky” Hobson, the local town hairdresser.

This extra-large (262x166mm) landscape monochrome fourth volume covering strips from 1978-1979 comes from the Australian editions series and introduces still more unique characters with Ball hitting a creative peak and new heights of manic zaniness. There’s also a lovely section of new material created especially for this edition.

Wal’s prickly little niece Janice – known to all as Pongo – was now a regular as was the formidable and unflappable Dolores Monrovia Godwit Footrot, AKA Aunt Dolly, but new characters here include wise guy kid Rangi Wiremu Waka Jones, Dolly’s spoiled Corgi Prince Charles, and Pew, a sadistic and inventive magpie obsessed with revenge after Wal cut down his favourite tree.

Of course the big scene stealer is as ever Horse, a monstrous and invulnerable farm tomcat who terrifies every carbon-based life-form for miles around…

As well as a splendid selection of pieces which include Wal’s problems with Clydesdales (like horses but much bigger), calving season, the weather, Dog at the circus, possum trapping, the art of being manly, the horror of fencing posts and the Dog’s campaign against bloodsports, this tome also includes some too-rare huge single-panel gags showing the artist’s facility with zany, action-packed comedy set-pieces and his sheer cartoon inventiveness.

This collection is utterly captivating; expansive, efficient, exciting and just plain funny.

If I’ve convinced you to give the Dog a go, your favourite search engine will be all the help you need… Go on. Fetch!
© 1981 Murray Ball. All Rights Reserved.

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Stinz: Horsebrush and Other Tails


By Donna Barr(Eclipse Books)
ISBN: 1-56060-069-1

Donna Barr is one of the comic world’s most unique talents. She has constructed a fully realised fantasyscape to tell her stories and tells them through a style and voice that are definitely one-of-a-kind. Her most well known creations are The Desert Peach, which features the poignantly humorous adventures of Field Marshal Erwin Rommell’s homosexual brother in the deserts of World War II Africa, and the star of this particular show, the Half-Horse Steinheld “Stinz” Löwhard.

Using an idealised Bavarian agricultural landscape as her starting point, Barr has been taking good-natured pot-shots at humanity with an affable centaur soldier-turned-farmer and his family since 1986 when she adapted characters from her own book into the lead strip in Eclipse Comics’ fantasy anthology The Dreamery. The contents of this out of print but happily easy-to-find online collection gathers the equine bits of issues #1, 3 and 5-13 of that much-missed fantasy anthology and includes four new Stinz sagas to sweeten the graphic narrative pot.

The stunning black and white comic tales are set in the idyllic Geisel Valley, a rustic, idealised 19th century Germanic state that includes ingredients from grim reality and fantastic mythical creatures. Stinz’s world is a full-blown tapestry of drama, politics, war and wild adventure, redolent with mythic old-world charm and brilliantly engaging, earthily accommodating characters and settings.

After an effusive introduction from Kim Thompson, the charm offensive begins with Chapter One: Young Stinz and a quartet of intriguing glimpses into the young colt’s formative years beginning with ‘The Last Horselaugh’ wherein the rambunctious teen centaur and his equally obnoxious cronies try to play a trick on a bad-tempered old farmer and quickly rue the consequences, after which ‘A Breathing Spill’ agonisingly describes the lad’s first attempts at impressing a fair maid…

‘Animal Attraction’ hilariously recounts the problems of being a young colt in love for a species that can’t wear trousers and addresses the tensions between the rural half-horse people and the ubiquitous human “two-leggers” before the early adventures end with ‘The Proving Ground’ as the disgraced but hot-tempered Stinz finds true love and parental approval when the deep snows bring wolves to harry the valley’s herds and flocks…

Safely married to Brüna Dämmling and returned from a human war, the troublesome teen grew into a pillar of the community and a parent himself so Chapter Two: Stinz & Son, concentrates on Löwhard’s relationship with his own lad, beginning with the delightful ‘Andri’s Christmas Shoes’ wherein the little guy applies pester-power to the problem of getting his first set of big-boy iron hoof-coverings and almost pays a fatal price, whilst father and son’s disastrous attempts to catch ‘The Carp of Easter’ shows that the old man’s talent for finding – and dealing with – trouble had not faded…

When a band of dissolute, de-mobbed two-legger soldiers start picking on little Andri they discover that sad fact to their painful cost in ‘Nothing Like Gone’ whilst the spooky bed-time legend of ‘Sprunghack Hans’ proves as frightening to the teller as the listener when told under a cold, pale outdoors moon and ‘Blooming Affections’ reveals little Andri is every bit his father’s colt when it comes to the eligible young ladies of the valley…

Chapter Three: Stinz opens with another folktale as Löwhard and his farrier friend share the cautionary tale of a satanic rooster in ‘Chicken’ whilst the luckless human mercenaries return to again incur Stinz’s wrath by poaching in ‘Not My Problem’ after which the centaur meets his match in the form of a rampant equine whole-horse in ‘Horsebrush’…

The last section Chapter Four: the Wolves begins with ‘Smoked Out’ as Stinz’s uncle Rauchl Schorsche supplements his charcoal-burning business with a spot of moonshine-making and inadvertently makes the ever-hungry and never too far away wolf-pack his bosom buddies: a hilarious situation exacerbated in ‘Hair of the Wolf’ when the tipsy canines invite a werewolf to play and this fabulous bestiary ends on a high note with ‘Pack Ice’ as part-time Lupine Ulli learns to deal with his human and centaur neighbours under the full moon and his pack-mates during daylight hours…

The warmth and surreptitious venom of Barr’s sallies against contemporary society are still in evidence here, but, as always the sly commentary is stiletto tip not battle axe. Barr’s work is clever, warm, distinctive and honest but oddly not to everybody’s taste, which is a shame as she has lots to say and a truly astounding way of saying it.

Illustrated in her fluidly seductive wood-cut and loose-line style, this book is a must-have for any wonder-loving, devotee of wit, slapstick, period romance and belly-laughs. This is a tome no whole-hearted fantasist should be without.

Story and art © 1986, 1988, 1990 Donna Barr. All rights reserved.

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The Desert Peach book 3: Foreign Relations


By Donna Barr (Aeon)
ISBN: 1-883847-04-4

The Desert Peach is the supremely self-assured and eminently accomplished gay brother of the legendary “Desert Fox” and one of the most perfectly realised characters in comics.

Set in World War II Africa and effortlessly combining hilarity, absurdity, profound sensitivity and glittering spontaneity, the stories describe the daily grind of Oberst Manfred Pfirsich Marie Rommel; a dutiful if unwilling cog in the German War Machine and his efforts to remain a perfect gentleman under the most adverse and unkind conditions.

As formidable as his beloved elder sibling Field Marshal Erwin Rommel, the gracious and genteel Peach is a man of breeding who loathes causing harm or giving offence and thus spends his dry and dusty days commanding the ever-so-motley crew of the 469th Halftrack, Gravedigging & Support Unit of the Afrika Korps, trying to remain stylish, elegant, civil and gracious to the men under his command, the enemy forces opposite him and all the unfortunate natives whose countries both Allied and Axis powers are currently running riot within.

It’s a lot of work: the 469th houses the worst dregs of the Wehrmacht, from malingerers and malcontents to useless wounded, sharpers, screw-ups and outright maniacs.

Pfirsich applies the same genteel courtesies and rule of well-manicured thumb to the sundry indigenes populating the area surrounding the camp and the rather tiresome British – not all of whom are party to a clandestine non-aggression pact Pfirsich has agreed with his opposite number in the opposing British Forces.

The romantic fool is passionately in love with and engaged to Rosen Kavalier: handsome Aryan warrior and outrageously manly Luftwaffe Ace: in fact the only people the Peach really has no time for are boors, bigots and card-carrying Blackshirts…

Arguably the real star of these fabulous frothy epics is the Peach’s long-suffering, unkempt, crafty, ill-mannered, bilious and lazily scrofulous orderly Udo Schmidt, a man of many secrets and non-existent morals whose one redeeming virtue is his uncompromising loyalty and devotion to the only decent man and tolerable officer in the entire German army.

This hard to find but supremely superb third monochrome compendium reprints issues #7-9 and includes an all-new tale too.

Battle commences with ‘The Spoiled Fruit’ as the mild mannered and utterly urbane Peach is accidentally dosed with shell-shocked veteran Corporal Doberman‘s anti-psychotic medication. The ghastly experimental brew acts like Angel Dust on the sweet lad and turns Pfirsich into a raging warmongering lunatic, who goes on a three day battle-jag, dragging the 469th with by sheer rampaging willpower and almost winning the desert war single-handed… until the drugs stop working.

Even more embarrassing than the death and bloodshed he caused and certainly more painful than the bullet wound in his posterior is brother Erwin awarding him a medal…

This is followed by international adventure and intrigue in ‘Dressing Down’ as an old-fashioned army concert-party leads to one of the most ludicrous espionage missions of the war.

In an attempt to raise morale Udo organises a show where he and a few other ranks dress up in drag. Although a little unhappy at the sordid and distasteful turn of events, Pfirsich lets it go but is horrified when an intelligence officer from his brother’s staff claims that Udo-as-a girl looks just like Hannah Mardi, a German agent currently missing in England.

She and her sister were the only hope of recovering the stolen plans for Rommel’s latest tank but for such a mission to succeed Hannah should be accompanied by her usual partner. What a happy coincidence that Pfirsich looks so much like the equally absent “Portia Sophi”: the Peach could pass for her with almost no make-up at all…

Arriving at the last known address of the missing spies in London, the terrified and mutinously reluctant Pfirsich and Udo are horrified to discover something very peculiar is going on in the agents’ old lodgings and things become surreal, hilarious and quite, quite tricky when the Peach realises that the landlady’s son Willie is the same delightful boy who befriended him in those carefree days before the war..

The reprints end with ‘Scourge of Love’ as the ever-horny Udo unwittingly turns a bargaining session for fresh rations with Tuareg traders into an accidentally proposal to the Chieftain’s beautiful daughter Falila.

He thought he was getting a “quickie” from a easy trollop but too soon Udo realises he was not only betrothed to the proud princess of a people who have turned avenging insults into an art-form and spectator blood-sport, but that to prove himself worthy he would have to steal a herd of camels from the Arabs’ greatest and most ancient enemies.

With a tribal revolt threatening to interfere with the smooth course of the war, Udo’s tenderest and most cherished organs at risk and, most importantly, the honour and happiness of a lady at stake, the Desert Peach has no choice but to step in and settle matters in his own uniquely sensitive and refined manner…

The new epilogue ‘Home is Where…’ is set in the Peach’s declining years, wherein Pfirsich and his adult son Mani play host to a reunion of the 469th few survivors: a bittersweet vignette which delights and fearfully foreshadows tragedies yet to come. This moving vignette also appears in Book 4 Baby Games.

Referencing the same vast story potential as Sgt. Bilko, Hogan’s Heroes, Oh, What a Lovely War! and Catch 22, as well as such tangential films as Priscilla, Queen of the Desert and The Birdcage, the Desert Peach is bawdy, raucous, clever, authentically madcap and immensely engaging.

These fabulously weird war stories were some of the very best comics of the 1990s and still pack the comedic kick of a floral-scented howitzer, liberally leavened with situational jocularity, accent humour and lots of footnoted Deutsche cuss-words for the kids to learn.

Pfirsich’s further exploits continue as part of the Modern Tales webcomics collective…

Illustrated in Barr’s fluidly seductive wood-cut and loose-line style, this book is a must-have for any history-loving, war-hating lover of wit, slapstick, romance and belly-laughs. All the Desert Peach books are pretty hard to find these days but if you have a Kindle, Robot Comics have just begun to release individual comicbook issues for anybody who can make their way around Das Ferslugginer Internetten …
© 1990-1994 Donna Barr. All rights reserved. The Desert Peach is ™ Donna Barr.